Chapter 0: The Black Tear Attack
Well, this is certainly a dramatic way to meet the soon to be heroes of The Stolen Lands - a burning building and my precious little self having to face down a rampaging ogre! Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself!
My name is Linzi, famed novelist from Pitax. When I heard that Jamandi Aldori was putting out a call for heroes to claim The Stolen Lands, I just knew that there was going to be plenty of adventure and excitement to follow. I just had to see this story through from the very beginning. When I arrived at Restov, I wasn't quite sure what to expect - mercenaries and nobles seemed to mingle at every table in the swordlord's grand manor, all of them wondering just what it was that Jamandi was planning.
Before long, Lady Jamandi and Lord Mayor Ioseph Sellemius arrived bearing their grand announcement: the gathered group would each be given a charter to explore, tame, and lay claim to their own section of The Stolen Lands! Now, in case - dear reader - that you haven't heard, The Stolen Lands are a rather infamous stretch of land in The River Kingdoms that has seen its fair share of would-be conquerers. The dwarves of The Five Kings Mountains made several attempts to lay trade routes through, several petty tyrants established now crumbling demesnes - heck, even the nation of Taldor sent in several conquering armies, all only to eventually fall for some reason or another. Now, I may have a few guesses as to why Lady Jamandi would be interested in supporting a growing kingdom to the south, but the swordlord wasn't ready to give that information up just yet.
Well, I'm rambling! After the announcement, the grand feast began. Dear reader, let me tell you, what a feast it was! Roast pheasant, fresh vegetables sauteed in lemongrass, and enough mead to drown even the sturdiest Kellish barbarian (well, I may have to revise that statement after meeting Amiri). I was even able to sit among some truly wonderful people during the event: a true knight, a dashing noble, and a rather curious dwarf. I also, unfortuantely, got to meet a slimy purple toad by the name of Tartuccio. This rude man couldn't help but wag his tongue incessantly, and with not a single nice thing to say! Thankfully, some of the other members of the table were quick to rise to the defense of good manners and decency - shutting the man down (I think someone may have also given him a concussion, too).
Quick to start the party was a young man named Eisen, who couldn't have been much older than 18! What impressed me was how cleverly his hands worked to tinker and fix things right in front of us. He even happened to have this strange... Ah, getting ahead of myself again! There was also a rather peculiar man(?) who couldn't help but cause a scene - playing a brass trumpet during the event and nearly causing the woman across from him to leave the feast in embarassment! They may not sound like much, but I can assure you, this strange fellow proved to be quite the impressive spellcaster later on in the evening.
Oh, it's so difficult writing this without spoilers!
Finally, I come to a rather imposing man. An orc with hunched shoulders and a wicked looking pick on his back. I'll be forthright, when I first saw him, I was certainly a bit nervous. But he saved the day by repeatedly hurling tankards of full mead into Tartuccio's rotten little face! Perhaps I'm a bit immature, but I couldn't think of a better solution to that gnome problem. (Editor's note: I really don't have anything against gnomes, just this gnome in particular!) After the meal, many of the gathered adventurers either took up residence one of Lady Jamandi's guest rooms or returned to their own abodes in Restov. Well, I don't exactly have a home to return to - not after what I did before leaving Pitax - so I was able to get a room with a few other adventurers. Unfortunately, they didn't strike me as the heroic type.
How right I was! At some point during the night, a number of black-cloaked figures stole into our room and pulled blades on us while we were still in bed! They were quick, but I was quicker. I managed to slip between their legs with my trusted rapier in hand - only to walk into the waiting arms of a nasty ogre! Yuck! I could tell that no one explained hygiene to this deformed menace as his rotten breath blasted me in the face as he opened a maw of rotten teeth to chew me up. I managed to swing my rapier at just the right moment, taking out both of his eyes before escaping into a library and taking cover under a table. Things were quickly spiralling out of control and I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. As the ogre slammed a massive hook around the room, shattering everything, I could only keep quiet and hope he'd get tired before long.
Lucky for me, fate intervened, and a cast iron poker soared through the air to lodge itself in the ogre's neck! I looked out from my hiding spot only to find my friends from the party heroically charging to my rescue! In a matter of moments, the nasty giant lay dead and I found Rukar, Eisen, Aimiri, and Bob all ready to save the day. They told me that the manor was under attack by a group of assassins known as the Black Tears, and that Lady Jamandi was likely in trouble. Of course, we leapt to action - though not before weighing the moral dilemma of stealing from our host. We didn't, of course, but I was surprised that the option was even on the table. Yikes!
There was only one room standing between us and the great hall - the scullery. I thought that with these four by my side, we were unstoppable. Well, I still think I'm right, but I don't think any of us were ready to see a frost giant here! Though the giant's weapon was sundered and it sported several wounds, I'm not sure that we could have taken him. Luckily for us, Eisen could speak Jotun and must have said something to put the giant at ease. Before long, he was tending to his wounds and the giant even showed us where some more guests from the feast were being held. Moments later, Syr Valerie and Harrim were freed and joined our merry band. Quite the adventurers we are!
Unfortunately, bad news - I write this journal from the main hall, and it seems as though those nasty assassins have set the west wing on fire! A quick glance to my new friends show me that they're ready to plunge into the inferno, but I have to ask... am I?
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