Comfortable, Uncomfortable
26th March 2022
The wonderful David Bellwood observed, early on in our process, that access provision can be one of two things:
Looking at an existing structure like a theatre building, seeing where the barriers are to access, and doing your best to remove them.
or
Starting with access at the foundation, and building on it. The Copenhagen Interpretation has always been my response to feeling uncomfortable being present in traditional theatre: the building, and also the process.
... to let the story make us uncomfortable enough
...... to let us experience and discover things:
......... about the story, and each other, and ourselves.
1. Funders love this, obviously.
or
Starting with access at the foundation, and building on it. The Copenhagen Interpretation has always been my response to feeling uncomfortable being present in traditional theatre: the building, and also the process.
RolePlay Games
I’ve always found roleplay games far more comfortable, and was lucky enough to start playing them in a freeform system. Unlike tabletop games such as D&D, with their dice-based decisions and complex rule structures, the kind of freeform rpg I’ve been playing with friends for many years is more like improvising a novel together. Fights happen, sure, but we’ve always worked on an honours system whereby we talk out of character about who is more likely to win, and how that win might happen, and then we play it to see how it plays out. We’ve always talked about what’s going on as we play it: commented on the characters and their interactions, discussed aspects of ourselves that we see manifesting in our writing, and supported each other when it got tough. My writing partner Rachel says, “Just keep swimming” and sometimes we get through it just fine. Our characters come out the other side changed, sometimes for the better, sometimes not, and we learn things about ourselves, and each other, and life. Sometimes we swim and then find ourselves crashing over a big waterfall that the scene just cannot survive. So we talk about it, and we cut that part and stick it in a ‘Cut Scenes’ document, and then we go again. Because ultimately, we are friends who are doing this to make connections with the story, and with each other, and with ourselves, and nothing can supercede that. We won’t allow it. That’s how we keep each other safe. It is very much a collaborative process, the safeguarding. Our out-of-character conversations run concurrently, so even when we are cathartically experiencing our characters’ emotions, we are also talking to each other about how we personally feel about all this.Existing Safety Tools
There are a bunch of well-known safety tools used by roleplay games: you can draw a line under something that makes someone uncomfortable, or hold up a pause card if you need, say, a comfort break. None of that felt right to me, because they all assume one needs to stop play in order to speak as player, but that’s not right in The Copenhagen Interpretation because we exist in the same body, all the time: player and character. Collaborators, all. So when you need something, you can just say it, and then be comfortable.Comfortable
Comfortable. We all need to feel comfortable in order to be open. When we’re uncomfortable, we close off, we defend, we hoard resources. When we’re comfortable, and therefore open, we can give and we can receive. This isn’t about players getting involved in a game for the sake of the game. I don’t mind if a hundred players come to the game and just sit and have tea, and don’t play at all1. The purpose of the gathering is not the same as the purpose of the game. Some people come to a loud music houseparty and end up very happily in a room where the music is background at most. They still have a great time, and may never hit any of the arranged ‘party’ things at all. And yet they still party.Uncomfortable
Players, participants, observers, performers, architects, organisers: we all need to be comfortable. Characters want that too, but sometimes they are uncomfortable because that’s what story does, and therefore sometimes we are uncomfortable. Because that is what story does. It is just as important to be able to stay inside ‘uncomfortable’ sometimes, especially as a player who wants to get to that magic ‘flow’ state of being where everything just moves smoothly along and nothing distracts from the story/world. My wife Louise has this great thing she does with the kids to whom she teaches Taekwondo. If one of them asks for a drink or a bathroom break just before the end of a session, instead of saying, “There’s only a few minutes left, you can wait”, she says “There’s only a few minutes left. Can you wait?” It is such a small difference but it is an immensely different interaction. It’s collaborative. It’s fair. It’s an invitation, not an imposition. We can ask ourselves (and each other): “Do you want to stay in this particular feeling of being uncomfortable? And are you able to?”Intangibles
There are some aspects of Copenhagen that I call intangibles: Anticipation, Balance, Collaboration, Discovery, Experience, Justice, Safeguarding, and Transparency. Transparency is a big key to Comfortable / Uncomfortable. For as long as we are aware that there are players existing in the same bodies as the characters, we cannot help but be aware of how the players are feeling: ourselves, and others. This is where Balance lies in the area of Comfortable / Uncomfortable: we can exist inside an uncomfortable moment in the story if we are still comfortable enough as players to keep swimming. That’s about Collaboration: you need to have someone to keep talking to as a player in order to maintain that balance, and model it for others. We literally all hold the space. We make Discoveries this way: when we are comfortable enough as people to be open to Experiencing all of it: the characters and story, the process of playing, collaborating. It should feel fair. It should be transparent. That is literally how we can achieve the magic and mysterious Flow. It’s how we journey, into that space and out of it again, safely. Well, as safely as we can keep ourselves, because ultimately, the only person who can really look after you is… you.Consent
Consenting to stay in the space and in the experience is the ultimate safety valve. Because consent is a thing that must be continuously re-given from moment to moment, we can always withdraw it and leave: the ultimate protection. Knowing and acknowledging that allows us to consider whether we can stay and remedy anything uncomfortable that doesn’t feel like a valuable part of the process. And here we come to how this works in The Copenhagen Interpretation.Comfortable, Uncomfortable
We don’t have specific words or tools, no pause cards or safewords. We have each other, and the continuous transparency that allows us to say, at any time, “I’m not comfortable” or “I’m uncomfortable”. Phrase it in any way you like. We can all be sensitive to the fact that these things can be hard to say. We can all listen out for them, and check for them. That is part of us all holding space for each other. In fact, saying that stuff out loud, about what makes us feel uncomfortable, isn’t just about safety. It’s a really valuable and important part of the process of transparency. It is out-of-character info, it is collaboration, it is what we do. Speaking it aloud isn’t necessarily a demand for someone to fix it. It’s just a declaration. You might also declare what would help you feel comfortable again, if you know it. Or if you need it. “Can we stop a sec? I need to pee.” is just as valid as, “Wow, this scene feels really uncomfortable. Do we need to be this graphic?” which is just as valid as, “These characters are so awkward! I’m actually finding this hard to watch.” With the latter, we might all agree. It might spark a useful conversation. We might ask, “Do you need a minute?” or we might say, “Isn’t it brilliantly awful?!” or it might change the play. And all of that is all of us, working together.Breathers and Bridges
Sometimes, the combination of where a player is at, and what’s going on in the play, can just be too much. A thing that is normally with comfort levels slides over the line on a bad day. That’s what The Copenhagen Interpretation is: a response to how we are at any given moment. If you need to head out of play for a while, but you don’t want to fully disconnect, we can hold a bridge for you in case you want to come back in. Accompanying can sometimes help in that way.Open Space
So there are no hard and fast rules here. We want to be able to be responsive, and we follow open space principles:- Be prepared to be surprised
- Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened
- The Law Of Mobility
... to let the story make us uncomfortable enough
...... to let us experience and discover things:
......... about the story, and each other, and ourselves.
1. Funders love this, obviously.
The Access Accord
"To come to an accord..."Supported Space
Open Space Technology
Permissions
Specific Access Needs
Comfortable
Blog post: comfortable, uncomfortable
How to join us
The Copenhagen Interpretation
The Game
The Copenhagen Interpretation
Further reference...
Chloe Mashiter on Transparent Play
Harrison Owen on Open Space Technology
Improbable on Open Space Technology
Improbable on Open Space in BSL
Open Space Technology
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