Session 06 - D-Day: The Embassy Heist (& Date with Bachelor #2)

Drant: Bah-Ra-Kah.

Receptionist: Isn't he cute? I'm going to keep him!

Drant: (*regurgitates the drug spoon he ate earlier*)

Plot points/Scenes

Clubbing with the Court Mage

• Daryl Borksnob the court mage with a bob
  • Chose to go to The Golden Pipe, a club that only plays classical music
  • The ladies wear fancy dresses with one button undone and a little bit of ankle showing, ooh racy
  • There’s a hipster piano player, and a string quartet scheduled for later in the evening
  • The most casual-posh place in the city where rich people go when they don’t want to try
• Some asshole employee (Sylvia) is supes rude to Fritz when she comes in, but Daryl Borksnob the court mage with a bob strides up and demands to speak to a manager and how dare they not let her in
• Daryl orders a light fruity drink, Fritz orders a hard drink, since the goal is to get Daryl super drunk Fritz asks Daryl to go up to the bar and order some appetizers, while he’s gone she drinks some of his drink and pours some of her super cheap dangerous vodka into his glass
• Meanwhile, Jalan (dressed in obnoxiously flamboyant garb) walks in with Drant dressed up like a nice busboy and strikes up conversation with Sylvia, the woman who yelled at Fritz earlier, and who he knows pretty well, introduces Drant as his manservant (who does sign language but doesn’t speak)
  • “How does he tell you he wants to eat?”
  • Drant: *flips her the bird*
• Jalan goes up to the bar, places 50 gold on the bar and tries to talk the elvish barmaid into giving the court mage extra strong drinks
  • J: “See, his date’s my ex and I really want this date to go bad…”
  • BM: *motions to Fritz’s burned face questioningly*
  • D (who hasn’t spoken until now, in a deep voice): “It didn’t end well”
• Jalan then proceeds to buy drugs from the bar, puts it on a spoon and huffs it immediately, when told it’s a hallucinogen:
  • J: “....well, better double down” *goes to take another dose*
  • D: *snatches the spoon with drugs from his hands and swallows it whole*
• Jalan goes to find a card game before he dies of an overdose, Drant sits with the barmaid and offers to help out, fetches a pail of ice like a good little bug and makes himself useful carrying trays around on his head to customers
• Meanwhile, the barmaid brings Jalan’s drinks to Fritz and Daryl (Fritz gets Pseudodragon holla, Daryl gets something super girly) and Daryl digs in
  • Though Daryl’s drink looks super tame it’s really strong, like pure grenadine
• Daryl gets suuuuper drunk
• Jalan meets up with Sylvia, the employee who flew off the handle at Fritz, and she looks super stressed and whines that she’s probably going to get fired
  • Jalan offers her a position, namely Meghan’s position
    • “We’re not firing her, we’re just hiring a replacement”
  • Sylvia quits her day job then and there and throws her apron on the floor
  • Drant picks it up and puts it on like a cape
• The court mage is now dangerously drunk and we have to get him somewhere before he passes out
  • He suggests his house, but it’s far away and we should take a carriage, we lie that the carriages aren’t running at this hour and walk him to a nearby inn - The Wooly Respite
• The Wooly Respite
  • Daryl almost gets recognized as an employee at the Embassy, but we manage to get a room and get him to it
  • After frequent and persistent attempts to get some freak on with Fritz, he vomits and passes out
  • Jalan takes care of him while Fritz goes down to the hotel bar to get shit faced
    • J: “Ooh my specialty! Looting unconscious bodies!”
      • Finds a good amount of gold, some of which he takes, and an unopenable pouch
      • He detects magic and yep, it’s magical - he asks Drant if there’s anything he can do
        • D: “Did you try biting it?”
        • J: “No.”
        • ……….
        • D: “I bite it.”
        • DM: “It opens.” (but Drant takes 10hp damage)
        • It contains the key we’re looking for and a wand
          • Side note: the key has seven little pips on it where the janitor’s had only one - it seems to indicate levels of clearance
    • Daryl wakes up
      • Fritz is called back upstairs cause he’s still persistently tryna get freaky, Jalan orders four shots from the bar, Fritz dumps them all into a cup and gives it to him as a “glass of water” he chugs it and pretty promptly passes out again
    • But we forgot we need a retinal scan/voice sample
      • Aside from taking him with us or ripping out his eyeball, Fritz suggests we maybe try to figure out the headpiece of the flux armor the impersonators used to impersonate us
      • Nat 20 figures out the headpiece
        • 3D hologram eye socket
        • Voice modulator
        • Helmet has night vision
        • And zooming in/out
        • Very limited power (about 2 hours battery but can be powered off)
      • After some shenanigans we wake up Daryl just long enough to get the passphrase “pancakes on monday” and the retinal scan

The Embassy Heist

• We get Jalan in through a window, then the rest of us follow suit
  • Starting off an entire night of guards rolling absolute shit for perception
• Two guards linger in the hallway, one leans against the door to the room we’re in and complains about how he hates his job and working for the Empire
• We decide that Fritz (who has the equipment to open the vault) needs to be uninterrupted in the vault room for 4 minutes, Drant is in charge of creating a distraction, and Jalan is in charge of getting to the receptionist’s desk to disable the alarm that will get set off when Fritz starts opening the door
• Drant Alters Self into dog (but like, he’s an ant who doesn’t know what dogs really look like so...it’s not too convincing. he’s got scales??)
  • He accidentally stealths past two guards and makes it to the receptionist’s desk
    • DM: “What do you do to create a distraction to get her away from the desk?”
    • D: I walk into the room and just say….*whispers* “It’s free real estate”
    • Rec: “WHERE? Where, talking dog??”
    • Drant does the weird ass husky scream and the guards come running, mass chaos erupts
      • The receptionist is yelling that he’s cute and a prophet and trying to get a net on him to take him home and train him, the two guards aren’t sure what tf is going on
  • Jalan (who is supposed to go on Drant’s signal) misses the first (receptionist’s) cue but hears the husky scream and the rest of the commotion, signals Fritz to go and takes off for the receptionist’s desk
  • Fritz gets into the little holding room before the vault door and starts the time lock
    • In the meantime, she loots the snack cupboard and stuffs tons of bags of chips into her pack, she hears one of the hallway guards come back into the room and she hides under a table
    • He sits on a bench across the room and just starts loudly eating chips
    • But he notices that the door lock is counting down and it shouldn’t be, so he says “well…..I should go tell somebody”, he leaves and Fritz doesn’t try to stop him
• Back at the receptionist’s desk
  • Jalan disables the alarm under the desk and books it down another hallway, and darts into a side room which has no other exit
  • Drant fails to evade the three guards’ attempts to grapple him, but aside from a comment (“I wasn’t aware dogs could have scales…”) they return him to the receptionist who still wants to take him home
  • We learn that Drant has no reference point for a dog, and is making all of the wrong dog noises
    • “Bark.”
    • “Woof.”
    • “Bah-Ra-Kah.” [“what?” “B.A.R.K.”]
  • Receptionist decides to keep Drant the dog and take him home and train him
    • Rec: “I’m going to keep him! Isn’t he cute?”
    • *Drant regurgitates the drug spoon he ate earlier*
• Jalan and the electric lock: (discussing how Jalan’s going to get out of this room which only has one exit)
  • J: “I’m going to try to get into Carissa’s room.” (across the hall, but really the only other possible option aside from sprinting past two guards and the receptionist out the front door)
  • *tries and fails to pick the lock, takes 12 electric damage*
  • J: “I’m going to try again.”
  • [F: “You could literally die if you fail.”]
  • J: [“It’s fine.”] *tries and fails, takes 12 more electric damage*
  • J: “I’m going to try one more time.”
  • [F: “NO!”]
  • [J: “What’s the alternative?”]
  • [F: “Sprint out the front door.”]
  • [J: “Yeah, alright, I’ll just sprint past everybody in the building. ‘Oh, some flamboyantly colored elf just sprinted by? Oh, we’re investigating a flamboyantly colored elf? Wow!’ ”]
  • J: *tries and fails to pick the lock, goes unconscious in the middle of the hallway*
  • [F: “Oh, yeah, that worked great. ‘Oh, we’re investigating a flamboyantly colored elf? Oh, there’s a flamboyantly colored elf unconscious on our floor? Wow!”]
• Events from Drant’s perspective
  • *Bzzt* “Dammit.”
  • *Bzzt* “Dammit.”
  • *Bzzt* *Thud*
  • Drant: “Dammit”
  • Receptionist: “What?”
  • Drant: *chitters*
• Drant resuscitates Jalan in the hallway
  • Jalan gets up unnoticed, tries to stealth away, makes a noise
  • Nearby guard turns around, talks to Drant the dog: “I thought I heard footsteps…”
  • Drant *in a low human voice*: “I didn’t.”
• Fritz in the vault
  • The signer on Jalan’s papers is Grimwold Torchstone, someone we don’t recognize and someone that doesn’t exist in the public record (probably other criminals)
  • Fritz’s papers (lots of secret backstory)
    • Lists her as a possible terrorist (but so is everybody else whose record she reads)
    • Says a prototype of her father’s is stored in the big bad vault
  • Drant’s papers
    • Mostly from the last year
    • Reads more like research as they try to figure out who he is and where he came from
  • CARISSA’s FILE
    • Did i actually get to read this?
  • Meghan’s file
    • Her last name is the same as Carissa’s (??)
    • But her main file is stored in the big bad vault, and there’s nothing at all in her “public” file
  • Stan Riverson’s file
    • Pretty sad small file, poor family, nothing interesting
    • Works here because his parents were planning to leave the empire via ship and he ratted out his parents to the empire
  • Ya boi Daryl Borksnob
    • Margin note: “LOL this guy’s name”
    • On the index of magic users
    • Get a copy of the magic users index (screenshot on the helmet)
    • Specializes in detective work, seems to really like rules
    • Been carissa’s go-to for awhile: lots of arrests listed, but they’re all petty crimes over powerful people, seized assets are listed under carissa’s file
  • Sylvia (Meghan’s replacement)
    • Worked as a showgirl when she was really young bc her family ran into some trouble with the empire with debt, father was sold into slavery, she made a name for herself by manipulating people, rose through the ranks, Volaris empire was/is looking to hire her because she’s got great people skills and can manipulate information out of people very well
• Jalan in Carissa’s room
  • Learns she has a secret meeting with secret person on Thursday nights, includes a location
  • Carissa was in the process of signing the paperwork to repossess our stuff but makes note that this is ceased and we are to remain assets
  • Tries to open a locked drawer, fails and takes 6 damage from a trap he didn’t perceive (realizes he forgot to roll for his health potion, rolls 8 health so he’s still conscious but barely)
    • F: “You’re going to give me a heart attack”
  • Disarms the trap and opens the drawer
    • Her ledger
    • The equivalent of her birth certificate
    • Her rune stone to open the vault stuff (it has 10 pips, to the janitor’s 1 and Daryl’s 7)
    • Emergency gold (500 gold - Jalan takes 250)
    • Notes on how much she’s charging the power companies (the biggest of them are paying 500 gold/month)
  • Takes note of all of her account information, how much money she’s got in the bank, etc.
• Drant and the chips
  • Walks in, the guard says “oh you’re cute” and throws some chips on the ground for Drant
  • Drant: “I eat them….then grab the bag and sit and eat them like a person...then grab the rest of the bags of chips from the cupboard and leave”
  • Guard: “No dog put those down.”
  • Drant: *looks at him like a human and walks out on two legs*
  • Guard: “no dog don’t walk on two legs that’s not what dogs do”
• Fritz emerges from the vault carrying two bottles of Pseudodragon Vodka, just hands one of the bottles to the guard and walks out as he chugs it
• Back to Daryl in The Wooly Respite
  • He’s still passed out, we return the key to his bag and decide he’ll probably not question why his magical locked bag is torn open as long as nothing’s missing
  • But now to decide the best course of action for waking him up in the morning
    • Jalan suggests Fritz sleeps in the same bed and when he wakes up just telling him nothing happened
      • Fritz is 100% against sleeping in the same bed as this man
    • Fritz suggests she sleeps in a separate room from him and when he wakes up in the morning just telling him he was being an ass
    • Also suggests that we hire a prostitute to do the storytelling for us and just peace out from here
    • End up deciding on both booking the separate room and bribing a prostitute

Post-Heist

• Word arrives that the extra work day at the Embassy for Volaris Day has been cancelled because everyone on the third floor of the Embassy was hallucinating, and that everyone who was there is being interrogated to see what actually went down
• We get word that Investigator Borksnob is going to investigate the situation and see if there’s been a break-in, specifically using a new technique to see if any locks have been picked (looking for scuff marks from lockpicks)
  • And Jalan certainly left some obvious scuff marks while he was being repeatedly electrocuted
• Monday rolls around, and Jalan isn’t arrested so it seems that we were successful, now on our To-Do List:
  • At the library
    • Research a bunch of stuff
    • Look for Timothy Ryder’s secret rooms and easter eggs
  • Investigate the murder cult
    • Hack the cyborg memory for details, talk to Robin Stormcaller
  • Testify at Robin Stormcaller’s trial so that he’s acquitted
  • Steal more stuff from the Embassy
• Decide to go to the library since Jalan isn’t proactive and libraries are high on Fritz’s list of priorities

Research at the Library

• Our Power Plant
  • Dwemer stronghold
  • Used in war to hold prisoners of war
• Ralodithius
  • Prophecies in the past
  • Goal was to unite entire continent under one flag so there could be peace (stopped by the dwemer)
  • Was a great warlord but disappeared
    • Peace part was kind of questionable due to his questionable tactics
    • Born into royalty, known to be a powerful sorcerer (ability to bend magic unlike anybody before) - fact that he was beaten in combat is kind of crazy
  • There’s a good chance that he’s distantly related to Jalan but don’t bank on it
  • Most of his legitimate lineage was hunted down and killed
    • Stories that one got away
• Gramiere
  • Really liked prototyping stuff (this was his final power plant but he had other plants scattered throughout the mountains, something about geothermal energy - mostly not successful but some of his experiments did work)
  • Very secretive
  • Prototypes prototypes prototypes was what this guy was about
• Ghost squad
  • Some questionable events mentioned, Azrael Division, but any direct accounts of them are physically torn out of books, usually attributed to natural disaster
• Millennium Artifacts
  • 7 major artifacts, 5 minor artifacts
  • Puzzle, eye, ring, scale, key, rod, necklace
    • Puzzle: never solved, no one knows what that does
    • Eye: people who have owned it seem to be good at predicting people’s next moves and judging them
    • Ring: seemed to help people fulfill their dreams, guiding them along a path
    • Scale: not much reference, not very powerful
    • Key: person who had it had a horde of followers Rod: similar to the key
    • Necklace: owned by a wise king, seemed to make the right decisions very often
  • Spellbook, feather, pyramid of light, shield, quantum cube
    • Spellbook: exactly what it sounds like
    • Feather: used by a judge to judge criminals, unsure if it worked
    • Pyramid of light: no references in literature millennium shield: exactly what you think
    • Quantum cube: used to disintegrate people who defy the user
  • Think Yu-Gi-Oh
  • [Level up! level 5!]

Plot type

Session

Parent Plot

Act 1: Just Your Normal, Everday, Morally Ambiguous Power Company