Scene: After bringing Zeldine home
I should have been there. I can't shake the thought. I was out and Evergreen Grove was attacked. They say it won't happen again. They say it'll be alright, but they're wrong. Humans attacked the Grove out of fear and hatred, but it was organized. A mob had gathered and forced themselves inside with bats and knuckles and chains and they had come just to beat up whoever they could find.
The fine and mighty elves want us to just accept it as a small bump on the road to co-existance and let the human law enforcement work it out, while we focus on rebuilding in silence. Officially thrud agrees with them, but I could see the anger and hurt in her eyes, when I went into her office. She wants to personally beat the teeth out of every one of them just as badly as I do. She was raised like a warrior, but has chosen to be our wise woman and today I saw that warrior side etching to get out, and I would have joined her in whatever vengeance we would see fit.
Seeing Lív at the infirmary had left me so sad and frustrated. She couldn't fly away with her sisters, and they had broken her arm at two places. All because of me. Because I had borrowed her swan skin - part of her essence and what should have been here to save her. I was furious. Furious at them, at the world - at myself. But she was calm and graceful. Saw the anger and sadness in me, and she hugged me, and talked me down from doing something reckless - something stupid. It would reflect bad on the community and it would be fuel to the fire, yes, but what reeled me in was her fear that - whether arrested or worse - I wouldn't be able to come back again. She had made me promise to be patient and not fuel the fire.
I'm still pissed though. Sure, I won't 'fuel the fire', but what about the fire burning inside me? I have to leave - go outside. Kick something. Yell to the heavens. All of the above.
The faces I pass stomping all the way out of the building are clever enough to make room for me, and outside I realize that I don't even know where I'm going, before I trip over a root by the bonfire circle. I manage to ward of the fall with my hands, and for a moment I remain on my knees, my hands tightly clutching tufts of grass and dirt, my body trembling with pure emotion. I should have been here.
I don't know how long time passes with me lying in the grass crying all my frustrations out, but when I regain my composure, Zeldine is sitting silently next to me, drawing circles in the dirt with a twig. She has never been good at words for times like this, but her presence calms me nevertheless.
"I'm sorry," she starts, softly as a whisper. "I'm sorry for ...making you worry. For making you look for me."
"I'm just happy that you're okay," I reply, drying my eyes with my hands. "I was so afraid I was gonna find you lying in some alley. That you'd be dead." My voice cracks.
"Yeah..." she mutters, keeping her eyes on the ground.
When I realize that was the end of her answer, I sigh, and some time passes in solemn silence, and I realize that it's been some time since we were just the two of us, hanging out in silence. No words needed - just being sensing each others' presence... I've missed this.
"So..." Zeldine breaks the silence. "Are you gonna stay for dinner?"
"I dunno," I answer, but I do know. "I can't be here right now... Without getting angry again." I can already feel the guilt simmering again, and I force myself to stand. "I'm going home"
"I'm joining you", Zeldine states enthusiastically. "I wouldn't want you tearing apart your new appartment". She winks.
I smirk. "I don't really have any furniture to smash yet anyway". For the first time since we came back, I check my phone. I stop when I notice some texts from Alice: "OMG are you okay??", "Heard about the attack". I have to convince myself before answering "I'm fine", "was out".
"Uuuh, let's fix that!" Zeldine interrupts. "Sometimes people leave good stuff out on the streets, we just have to grab it before the disposal guys come. We'll just have to borrow the van."
Before I can open my mouth, Zeldine reacts to my smile and runs off towards the dorm. I text Alice. "Going furnace shopping", "Wanna come?" She is instantly on board, and I take a deep breath, feeling more calm than I ever could have hoped for.
The fine and mighty elves want us to just accept it as a small bump on the road to co-existance and let the human law enforcement work it out, while we focus on rebuilding in silence. Officially thrud agrees with them, but I could see the anger and hurt in her eyes, when I went into her office. She wants to personally beat the teeth out of every one of them just as badly as I do. She was raised like a warrior, but has chosen to be our wise woman and today I saw that warrior side etching to get out, and I would have joined her in whatever vengeance we would see fit.
Seeing Lív at the infirmary had left me so sad and frustrated. She couldn't fly away with her sisters, and they had broken her arm at two places. All because of me. Because I had borrowed her swan skin - part of her essence and what should have been here to save her. I was furious. Furious at them, at the world - at myself. But she was calm and graceful. Saw the anger and sadness in me, and she hugged me, and talked me down from doing something reckless - something stupid. It would reflect bad on the community and it would be fuel to the fire, yes, but what reeled me in was her fear that - whether arrested or worse - I wouldn't be able to come back again. She had made me promise to be patient and not fuel the fire.
I'm still pissed though. Sure, I won't 'fuel the fire', but what about the fire burning inside me? I have to leave - go outside. Kick something. Yell to the heavens. All of the above.
The faces I pass stomping all the way out of the building are clever enough to make room for me, and outside I realize that I don't even know where I'm going, before I trip over a root by the bonfire circle. I manage to ward of the fall with my hands, and for a moment I remain on my knees, my hands tightly clutching tufts of grass and dirt, my body trembling with pure emotion. I should have been here.
I don't know how long time passes with me lying in the grass crying all my frustrations out, but when I regain my composure, Zeldine is sitting silently next to me, drawing circles in the dirt with a twig. She has never been good at words for times like this, but her presence calms me nevertheless.
"I'm sorry," she starts, softly as a whisper. "I'm sorry for ...making you worry. For making you look for me."
"I'm just happy that you're okay," I reply, drying my eyes with my hands. "I was so afraid I was gonna find you lying in some alley. That you'd be dead." My voice cracks.
"Yeah..." she mutters, keeping her eyes on the ground.
When I realize that was the end of her answer, I sigh, and some time passes in solemn silence, and I realize that it's been some time since we were just the two of us, hanging out in silence. No words needed - just being sensing each others' presence... I've missed this.
"So..." Zeldine breaks the silence. "Are you gonna stay for dinner?"
"I dunno," I answer, but I do know. "I can't be here right now... Without getting angry again." I can already feel the guilt simmering again, and I force myself to stand. "I'm going home"
"I'm joining you", Zeldine states enthusiastically. "I wouldn't want you tearing apart your new appartment". She winks.
I smirk. "I don't really have any furniture to smash yet anyway". For the first time since we came back, I check my phone. I stop when I notice some texts from Alice: "OMG are you okay??", "Heard about the attack". I have to convince myself before answering "I'm fine", "was out".
"Uuuh, let's fix that!" Zeldine interrupts. "Sometimes people leave good stuff out on the streets, we just have to grab it before the disposal guys come. We'll just have to borrow the van."
Before I can open my mouth, Zeldine reacts to my smile and runs off towards the dorm. I text Alice. "Going furnace shopping", "Wanna come?" She is instantly on board, and I take a deep breath, feeling more calm than I ever could have hoped for.
Prelude:
After borrowing Lív's Swan Skin, Alea has been out all night looking for Zeldine who has gone missing.
Zeldine has a long history with drugs, so Alea fears the worst, but is happy, when she finds her and brings her back, only to return to the news, that Evergreen Glade has been attacked by a mob of humans before running at the sound of sirens.
After borrowing Lív's Swan Skin, Alea has been out all night looking for Zeldine who has gone missing.
Zeldine has a long history with drugs, so Alea fears the worst, but is happy, when she finds her and brings her back, only to return to the news, that Evergreen Glade has been attacked by a mob of humans before running at the sound of sirens.
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