Of Endings and Broken Hearts

16th of Camince, 1485
 
Dawn yesterday brought with it an ominous wind. Filandrel looked at me. “Do you feel that? I’ve only felt that once before… when we left our world.”
I felt a chill run down my spine. “What could cause it?”
“Something terrible is coming. Whatever it is, we don’t seem to have much of a choice to play it out.”
Inira and the others joined us. Looking around, I cast message, asking Filandrel to please just tell me the command word for the axiomyte’s box, just in case everything goes awry.
He shook his head nearly imperceptibly. “Whatever happens, just know… we’ll get through it. We have to.”
 
Filandrel agreed to assist the dwarves south of the gate, telling me to send for him “if further danger strikes.”
 
With that, Vignir and Filandrel teleported with me to set up the diluvian. As soon as it was set in place, the dwarven forces led by Paragon Cindy began marching through. They formed up as Karkhadon arrived, and Cindy stepped up to handle him personally.
 
Vignir decided to stay behind as we headed to the city. Filandrel looked away from the abashai that were walking towards us and turned to me. “Draconian wizards… have you fought their ilk before?”
“Not those ones.” I shrugged.
“It’s quite simple really. Abashai are quite simple minded. When you encounter the dragon however, do not expect him to land. Do not expect him to be stupid, either. If I’m needed, send for me. I’ll come back in.” His gaze bored into my own. “I’ll leave everything behind for you, do you understand?”
“Yes.” I nodded.
“Best of luck.” Filandrel said as we turned toward the city entrance.
 
Rowan contacted Hogar, telling him to bring his forces in from the west.
“I’ll see you later, my girl. We’ll live through this. You’ll have a story to tell.”
“Don’t forget what you promised me.” I reminded him.
Then, I teleported us into the city proper…
 
We arrived atop the southern wall of the inner city. The wall was formed from a combination of bone and black iron. Still moving, still semi-living creatures were formed into the wall. I could see sandstorms forming across the desert, and dust was rising in the distance. It looked like Secilia was facing off against her jackal-headed patron, but I honestly wasn’t paying enough attention to be certain.
 
Hasim and Alucard decided to run to her aid, but when Grimaldus turned to me, I told him that we cannot lose the opportunity that the dwarven forces are giving us, at the chance to save one person. It was truly a choice to save one person, or to try and save the entire world… Secilia knew her choice when she made it.
 
From our vantage point, I was able to make out Cindy trading blows with Karkhadon. Vignir flew over the army of kobolds, lightning crackling down. There was also someone odd… a figure wearing a flowing cape hovering in the sky. Hundreds of kobolds rose into the air, apparently whoever it was reversed the gravity on a section of the dragon’s army.
 
Dozens of young dragons approached from the sky, descending down on the dwarven forces. The entire sky was rumbling with the thundering of thousands of wings.
 
A deep voice sounded in the air, seemingly coming from far past the horizon. “Inara. Grimaldus.” It said. “Only you two could have convinced my comrades to do something so desperate and stupid…” Any confusion as to the voice’s origin was immediately cleared as blood began to rain down from the sky. Apparently, we had caught the Blood Lord’s attention… something that I cannot believe brought me a slight feeling of relief… Shard might prove to be a powerful ally this day… As the sky began to fill with thousands upon thousands of bat like creatures, and it looked like the very heavens had erupted into a war… I turned to Grimaldus. “What have we done?…” I breathed, ignoring the look of utter rapture on Inira’s face.
 
Turning, we ran toward the dragon and the throne beyond. I tried not to look down as we walked… the crunching of breaking bone was loud enough that I couldn’t shove it out of my mind. We were walking on the bones of still writhing corpses, their mouths opened in wordless moans of anguish. Some of them opening their skeletal mouths in an attempt to drink the blood that was falling from the now deep crimson sky.
 
As we approached the center of the city, where I assumed that the throne was… great wings extended into the air behind a massive building, the breadth of them extending past both sides of the structure. The great dragon, the decimator of cities, slowly began approaching us.
 
I turned to Rowan, exercising all of my willpower to not panic. “You’re the only one who has any potential of being worthy to do anything with that throne!” Now that we were right there, I was convinced that the best chance for the entire world was going to be for Rowan, and only Rowan, to sit upon the throne.
“I agree.” Hasim chimed in from behind us.
“You might actually do something good with it!” I could feel panic rising in my chest as I was trying to convince her, trying to give her something worth living for… she looked a little paler to me than she had the previous night and I knew I was right… Rowan needed to be the one to sit upon the throne.
“What makes you think that?” Disbelief was written all across her small face.
“Out of everybody here,” I explained quickly. “You’re the only one who was bothered by the death of undead children.”
“But I still killed them.” Rowan deadpanned.
“Yes, but it bothered you.” I insisted.
“But I still did it though…” she sounded lost.
“Yes, but it didn’t bother me, okay?” How could I make her see what I was trying to say?
 
Meriwald interrupted any further conversation, shrieking that this could wait, and we had more important things to deal with, like the big fucking dragon that was currently approaching our little group. Everyone rushed into action then. I told Meriwald to cast mage armor on himself and to fly as far away from the dragon as he could.
 
Secilia joined us, and after a quick berating from the others. I turned back to Rowan. “You could also do something to help my people… please.”
Hasim rounded on her. “No matter what, Rowan, do not hit that dragon last.”
At her guilty expression, he growled and turned away to face the dragon. I was worried, that with Rowan already bleaching, that she might decide to take the brunt of the dragon’s curse as a way to make amends for what she thinks she did wrong. But the thing is though… if Rowan thinks she is so deserving of punishment… then what does that say about the rest of us?
 
“Cojisto told me that I would have to make a decision…” Rowan said quietly.
“Everyone has to make a decision, every single day of their life.” I retorted.
“Right now,” Inira bit out. “We’re trying to make a decision not to all die.”
As much as I hate to admit it, Inira had a point…
“If I die…” I told Rowan. “Go to Alcarin. Next to the gardens is a little house with a garden and a workshop in the back. Tell my parents.”
“If I survive.” Rowan said quietly.
“You will.” I insisted. “You better.” In that moment, I refused to consider any other option.
“Fine.” Rowan conceded. “I won’t die if you won’t die.”
 
“Grimaldus.” Hasim said. “It has been an honor fighting alongside you. I will forever in your debt for keeping my child secure.”
Grimaldus’ helmet visor was already down. He lifted his mace in a salute of acknowledgement of Hasim’s words.
 
I reached up and planted a soft kiss on the cold steel of Grimaldus’ helmet. It could very likely be the last.
 
Hasim addressed Secilia, but his words were cut short as the dragon spoke, his voice booming across the distance. “Lest we engage, tell me… what is your purpose here? If you sought to live, you’d naught but have to run and hide. But then tell me, Child of Men… to wage war on the passing of days… is that your purpose here? To raise grand cities from stone, like the one before you… spawn new life in turn. What sort of tapestry do you wish to weave?”
“Fuck you!” Hasim shouted back. “I’ve got a kid to stay safe, and my wife will be pissed if I die!”
 
As the dragon spoke, I felt Grimaldus tap me with his mace. At first, I thought that he was trying to get my attention, before I felt the tingling vibration of magic course its way through my body, settling in the vicinity of my chest. It gave me a feeling of security that I have difficulty placing, but it was welcome nonetheless.
 
The dragon flew closer, and I was struck by how gargantuan he was. He studied us for a moment, until his gaze settled on Grimaldus. “I see you have brought the black mace. Pick up arms, then. For my kind do not heed the toothless!”
 
Gems lined the entirety of the dragon’s body. Massive golden bracers were on his arms, and he bore a necklace forged from what appeared to be countless gems taken from the crowns of human kings. His scales seemed to have been gilded bronze with the countless metals taken from chain and armor from thousands of men. With every movement, his scales rattled metallically, and as he flew, there was a collective moan of pain rising from all of the corpses in the city.
 
As the dragon drew closer, Inira chanted, calling forth a swarm of bats that immediately flew at his eyes. He immediately flew straight towards us, ignoring the bats, and released a breath of fire and sheer force that slammed into us. As the flames headed for me, I cast a spell to try to shield me from at least some of his fire… it hurt. So bad that it sent me reeling, the smell of my own singed clothes and flesh in my nostrils.
 
Grimaldus called for everyone to stay close to him. I looked at the dragon, waiting for him to unleash his breath at us again. This foe was beyond any of us. So, I did the best thing that I could think of. I sent a message to Filandrel, asking for his help with the dragon.
Before I even received his reply “I’ll be there soon,” I felt my burns healing, as Grimaldus chanted a healing spell. The searing pain was reduced to a dull ache, and as I looked up, I saw Rowan begin to run towards the throne.
 
The dragon tried to cage a charging Hasim, but Inira was able to counter his casting. “You think I’d let you approach me, elf?” His voice boomed out.
“How else am I supposed to beat the shit out of you?” Hasim countered, as he charged at the dragon. They engaged in a furious melee with each other, and I was pleased to see that Hasim has managed to familiarize himself enough with the axiomyte’s body to be able to utilize the dexterity that comes naturally to my people. Now, if he would learn to speak Elvish, he might be able to pass, in the company of humans at least…
 
But, apparently, Hasim wasn’t dexterous enough, because the dragon managed to grab him for a split second. Alucard charged in then, cutting a swathe of cuts down the dragon’s back.
 
The dragon raised his free hand in the air and began to call a meteor storm. I tried desperately to counter it, but I wasn’t fast enough. Alucard called out a counter from behind the dragon, and I think I heard him apologize. The dragon turned his head back toward him “You will be second to die.” His booming voice was unusually quiet in that moment.
 
I looked across the plaza at Rowan running with all her heart toward the building that housed the throne. There was no way that her legs would be able to take her there fast enough. Already, I could see Secilia’s gaze cutting over to her. I glanced over at Grimaldus, Hasim and Alucard… They would have to take it from here for now. They would have to.
 
“You would leave him behind?” The dragon taunted me. “Then he will die.”
 
Ignoring the dragon, and the little voice in my head whispering that I was abandoning the Grimaldus, and the others, to die in battle, I ran towards Rowan. She needed to get to that throne. And she would never make it alone… not without transforming into something that could fly – which would draw the immediate attention of the dragon. So, I ran. I ran and then called on my magic to take me the rest of the way to her side. Then, I reached down and grabbed her shoulder, conjuring a dimensional door to open, bringing us another five hundred feet closer to the throne. Almost there.

Rowan looked at me. “Run!” I told her. She took off running again. I’d be able to catch up with her and bring us both the rest of the way, if needed. But, I wanted to be able to keep an eye on the rest of what was going on… my attention was drawn the wrong way… the dragon must have done something to the land itself, for a sinkhole opened up under Rowan. Fortunately, she managed to skip around the edge of the falling sandpit.
 
I cast a flying spell on myself and followed Rowan, running a foot above the ground. Glancing back at Grimaldus’ shout to Alucard, I saw Hasim laying prone on the flying disc. Oh shit. There was no turning back now, and Rowan’s mission was more important.
 
Filandrel appeared then, in front of Rowan. “How can I help?” He asked.
“Help with the dragon!” I called to him as I ran closer.
“Well, yes.” He nodded.
“Please.” Oh good. I thought as I glanced back. Now the others will have a better fighting chance.
 
Filandrel looked at me as I drew closer, and then I slammed into an invisible wall. It stopped me short. I tried to make my way around it, but it was everywhere, surrounding me, caging me in. Filandrel must have cast it when he looked at me, but he never uttered a word, or gave any indication that he was casting a spell. He just looked at me, and then I was trapped.
“I am sorry.” He said quietly in Elvish, shaking his head. “But I have to save our people.”
No… no no no no no. Dread rose up like a beast inside me as he turned towards Rowan. I knew it then, Filandrel was about to do something terrible. I tried to counter spell whatever it was that he was going to cast, but it was like the cage cut off my connection to magic.
 
Filandrel then uttered a single word, and Rowan crumpled to the ground, coughing up blood. NO! I don’t know if I screamed it aloud or if it was just in my mind. I slammed my fists against the invisible wall, tears running unchecked down my face. This was all my fault.
 
Filandrel turned then, leaving Rowan’s crumpled little body laying in the sand, and began walking purposefully, calmly, toward the throne. I stood there, not far from Rowan’s body, but unable to reach her, watching Filandrel walk away. I am such a fool. I tried to open a dimensional door, I tried to teleport out, I tried everything… it was as though no magic at all would pass through the cage… not even enough for me to gather for a cantrip. I was forced to just stand there, helpless, as I watched everything crumble around me. Rowan was coughing up copious amounts of blood. “Rowan!” I shouted to her, slamming my fists into the wall again and again until they began to ache. I don’t think Rowan heard me. I hope she knew that I was trying to get to her. I don’t want her to think that I abandoned her after my former master betrayed her. After I betrayed her… for by bringing Filandrel here, did I not betray all of them? I thought I knew better… I thought Ravlor had it wrong when he warned me… I’d thought he was exaggerating a bit because he despises Filandrel so much… Never did I think it would come to this…
 
Rowan’s eyes and mouth were covered in blood. So much blood that I couldn’t read her lips. I did hear her voice answer me in my mind, hoarse as she faded. “Tell Meriwald that I love him.”
Then she was gone. As though I was looking through a haze, viewing everything through a pane of glass on a rainy day. Stabbing, heart wrenching anguish and grief filled my mind, as I could hear Meriwald screaming in rage and denial, his grief compounding my own, battering like a tempest.
 
Inira and Secilia flew into the building after Filandrel, completely ignoring Rowan’s small form. I doubt they even noticed, so focused were they on reaching the throne. I found that I didn’t even care. If one had asked me an hour earlier, when we initially stepped into the city, I would have been willing to stand against nearly any member of our party in order to allow Rowan her chance at the throne. But now? What did it matter? Filandrel was already there, and against him, Inira and Secilia didn’t stand a chance. I hadn’t even known he was casting when he caged me in, and I’ve been learning from him, watching him, for most of my life…
 
I somehow thought that with the threat of the dragon, that Filandrel would have seen reason. Couldn’t he see the goodness in Rowan and see that she was the most worthy to do something with the throne? She might have a chance at actually doing something good. I trusted him. I allowed him back in just a little bit… I thought it was the best choice at the time.
 
Alucard appeared outside the invisible cage. I could barely see him through the blurring of my tears. He extended his hand to me and I felt a pulling on my body, and he teleported me out of the cage into the entrance of the building.
 
Filandrel was just ahead, and when I appeared, he looked at me apologetically. “You have to understand, none of this is personal.”
“It feels really damn personal to me!” I bit out.
“Pick a side!” Filandrel called.
“You fucking lied to me again!” I shouted. “You promised!”
“Such is the fate of our kind…” he whispered, shaking his head.
“Show me what you’ve learned, then.” Filandrel’s voice held a deadly challenge. “Come on…”
 
I took a deep breath and cast mirror image, summoning illusionary duplicates that mirrored all of my movements.
“Smart.” Filandrel nodded in approval. There was a time, not so long ago, that I used to love hearing his approval. Now, it felt like a boulder sitting on my chest. I wanted to kill him. I wanted no harm to come to him. I wanted to scream and rage and use my magic to tear him asunder. But I also wanted to go back in time, to sit in his library and drink tea, and have the Filandrel I knew, my mentor, tell me everything was okay and this was all a misunderstanding. But there was no misunderstanding…
 
The dragon appeared in the building. He’d shapeshifted into a humanoid form to allow himself in. Hasim was right on his heels. He stopped a short distance away from Filandrel, squaring off, his eyes seething with rage.
Filandrel glanced over at Hasim, taking in his rage-filled expression. “You know, this image looks terribly familiar… if only you knew…”
I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly happened that led to Filandrel facing off against the seething axiomyte in the past. Judging by what had just happened though, I wouldn’t be surprised if Filandrel had betrayed him similarly.
“Are you at least going to tell me the damn word?” I snapped.
“I will.” Filandrel replied. “Once I’m done killing your friends.”
“Fuck you.” I shot back. What did he think I was going to do? Just stand by and let it happen?
Secilia launched a spell at him, and Filandrel immediately poofed out of existence… it was only an illusion. I knew it then, Filandrel wasn’t even in the building anymore… one step ahead as always.
 
As soon as Filandrel’s illusion was dispelled, the dragon shifted back into his true form. Oh shit. I turned and ran, casting misty step as I ran, out of the building. I knew that there was no way that it could support the size of the dragon inside, much less the devastation he was bound to unleash.
 
Grimaldus was running towards me, his eyes intent on Rowan’s body. I caught a glimpse of Filandrel appear behind Grimaldus, as I grabbed hold of Rowan’s shoulder and pulled us both into a dimensional door. I stepped out right in front of Grimaldus, laying Rowan’s body down. “Do something!” I cried.
 
“Go ahead. Do it.” Filandrel’s voice was a quiet threat. “And then see what happens to your lover afterward…”
“You forgot about the fucking mace.” Grimaldus bit out, as his conjured, spectral mace flew from a distance and slammed into Filandrel’s back. He reeled with the blow, blood dripping down his robe.
Grimaldus then reached up into the air, shouting “Your job is not done, gnome!” And slammed his hand onto Rowan’s chest, sending a jolt of magic through her body.
He turned toward Filandrel then, advancing until they were nose to nose. “Care to repeat what you mentioned earlier?” He growled.
 
Rowan coughed and spluttered as breath returned to her body. She glanced back towards the building where the dragon was about to breathe again. He looked directly at her and taunted. “Go ahead. Choose which of your friends you want to die.” With a great effort, Rowan raised her hand and sealed the building’s entrance with a wall of stone. Then she transformed into an eagle and flew into the air.
 
Hasim dashed toward Filandrel, and by the time that I saw what was happening, it was too late. Hasim’s dagger pierced him in the back, and a growing red stain spread across his robes as he collapsed. No!
 
I turned to run to Filandrel, and the dragon materialized directly in my face, his mouth already open to breathe. The full force of his breath hit me from barely an arm’s length away. Excruciating pain wracked my body, as I tried to clear my mind enough to function. Looking around, I could see the effects of his breath… Grimaldus lay next to Filandrel’s body… unconscious or dead, I did not know. No! My mind and heart screamed in denial. Smoke was rising from his armor.
 
I threw a wall of force up, forming a dome around myself, Grimaldus, Filandrel and Hasim. Reaching down, I cradled the back of Grimaldus’ head and poured a healing potion past his charred lips, refusing to even consider the possibility that he wouldn’t wake.
 
Grimaldus opened his eyes and uttered a spell. His wounds began closing before my eyes, and I felt my own pain lessen. Looking over to Filandrel though, I could see his blood still pooling around him to soak into the ground. Grimaldus’ healing didn’t affect him at all. Then I glanced to Hasim, noticing the dagger clutched in his hand. No… it was the same dagger that the would-be assassin had plunged into Grimaldus’ grandmother… the cursed weapon that prevented all healing unless the curse was removed – and I didn’t even have to look at Grimaldus to know that he would refuse…
 
The dragon roared in anger against the invisible wall. Rowan was flying towards the throne. “I need to keep him busy, can you let me out?” Hasim asked, standing far too close to the barrier.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’d have to drop the whole thing.”
The dragon paused. “Keep him busy from what?”
Hasim started going off on the dragon, shouting that he never had a quarrel with him, as Hasim isn’t even an elf, and a veritable load of insults against the dragon’s honor for having betrayed us… apparently Hasim must have made some type of deal with him?
“I don’t do this out of a sense of justice. I don’t do this out of a sense of desire…” The dragon answered. “I do this because I hate you all…”
It would appear that Hasim held his attention, at least for the time being.
 
Filandrel was fading fast. I fell to my knees beside him, doing my best to pull him into my lap. “Tell me…” I begged.
“I was never his closest friend…” Filandrel’s voice was barely above a whisper, before his eyes closed in unconsciousness. No! Not like this… you don’t get to die here, now, like this… I gently wiped some of the blood from his face, and immediately let my consciousness go, falling into the Dream…
 
I found Filandrel standing next to a Well of Sorrows. Elvish statues surrounded the translucent pool, a wolf, a raven, and many other natural creatures. The full moon glistened on the water, bathing everything in a pale light.
 
“I have a feeling that we don’t have long.” Filandrel said, turning to look at me.
“No…” my voice cracked. “Why?”
“In time, you’ll come to understand.”
“You always say that and it…”
“Then let me be clear…” Filandrel said calmly. “Damian has a part to play. I did mine. In the time to come, you’ll see him as an enemy. See him as an enemy, you must.”
“Why?” I asked again.
“It is all part of the plan…” his voice was still calm, oddly so, I thought, given the circumstances.
“What plan?” I demanded.
 
“Damian is a pivotal piece to saving our people, and to saving this world.” Filandrel replied.
“How?” Why were we even talking about Damian right now? I wanted to talk about Filandrel… I don’t even know what I wanted, to be honest.
“In Kamadan, the creature beneath… whatever may happen, we have found a way to commune with it…”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped, my voice raising.
“She has been waiting for a long time. And he has a way, we have a way, of saving everyone. But the dragon, the betrayer must not know. If the betrayer knows, we all die.”
“What do you mean, we…” I started to ask.
“All of the elves. We all die.” Filandrel cut in harshly. “He kills us all. That’s how that ends! But if Damian plays the enemy, if Damian wages the war just right, if just enough elves die, we save the rest of us.” His gaze felt like it was burning a hole into my own. “Do you understand what I am saying?!”
“Kill thousands,” he continued after a brief moment, “to save hundreds of thousands.”
 
“Just like you did with the Wells?” My voice broke.
“I did what I had to…” he defended.
 
“What did you do exactly?” I asked, fighting back tears. “As you said, we don’t have much time!”
“The Queen was on her way…” Filandrel explained. “I left half, half of those who went to face her, I left them at the other side. And when she comes for us, I see them… every time. Different ones, faces I recognize… their hearts ripped out, replaced by the hearts of stags. She mocks us with them, parades their corpses in front of us.” Filandrel paused, looking at me intently. “We have to remove this world away from the spheres. It’s the only way… by communing with her.”
“And won’t that be worse?” I asked sadly.
“No…”
“How do you know?” I tried to keep my voice steady. “You fucking killed… you trapped me in a cage and fucking killed –“
“To save your life!” He shouted at me.
“You killed one of the most genuinely good people I’ve ever met!” I shouted back.
“And you’re going to see hundreds of good people die!”
“I already have.” My voice sounded broken, even to me.
“This doesn’t end. This never ends!” Filandrel visibly focused on calming himself.
 
I took a few deep breaths, then asked. “What was your actual relationship with the axiomyte?”
“He was my brother.” Filandrel answered quickly.
“Wait… what?”
“He was my brother. He was all I had left. I lost my wife in that battle at the other side of that rift to the Wells. I saw my son be torn apart by imperial dogs… their hounds ripping him to pieces! And so I took every child in their city from them, to make them feel the pain that I felt.”
“And that’s what your falling out was?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
 
“You murdered children, because you lost your own?” I could barely believe my own ears. “Children… Filandrel.”
“Yes. I can’t undo what I did. We live with it.” His eyes showed remorse, even if his voice did not.
 
“So what now?” I asked sadly.
“See Damian as your enemy. It’s the only way. He knows and he will know that you know. And together, you will share that painful secret, as you watch hundreds die for no reason, for nothing. And it will be all your fault. And it will be all his fault. And you will do it in order to save everyone.”
 
“Is this what you’ve been setting me up for, my whole fucking life?” I demanded.
“No. But it’s what the circumstances have become…”
 
Filandrel’s body began to fade, the dream collapsing around us…
 
“Give me a guess as to what his word would be?” I asked through my tears.
“I think it’s at the bottom of the throne… the Prince probably knows it. It will get you close to him, the knowledge of the axiomyte. If you choose to play this role in order to save our people, get close to the Prince. My body… present it to him. Let him know that you killed me.”
“What?” I cried out.
“Tell him that you killed me!” Filandrel insisted. “And then… make Damian your enemy. Make him hate you, if you have to. He’ll know”
“He already does.” I admitted.
“No…” Filandrel lectured. “He’s playing a part.”
“He sure as fuck fooled me.” I spat bitterly.
 
“Did you try seeing through his lies?” Filandrel asked.
“Obviously…” I looked pointedly at my former master. “Obviously I’ve never been very good at that, have I?”
 
Filandrel’s body began to dissipate and fade. “I think it’s time to say farewell…” his voice faded with his body.
“Anything else I should know?” I called, grasping desperately, futilely, for just one more minute, one more question.
Filandrel vanished then, dissipating into nothingness, a slight smile on his face.

I woke up, my tears mixing with Filandrel’s blood, as I knelt there, cradling his body in my lap. My master was gone. Filandrel’s silver-streaked dark brown hair was gone, replaced with his true form’s white-blond hair that, aside from the blood staining it red, looked so similar to the axiomyte’s. His face too had transformed, the jagged scar running down his face and across his neck. Even his blue robes had given way to the white and silver runes of his robe of the arch-magi.
This was his true face… the one that I had never known.
 
I looked around. Inira was floating around as mist, trying to get through the wall of force and to her coffin. The dragon was focused on the ridge above us, where I could see Secilia encased in what looked like a block of ice. The dragon seemed to be just waiting for an opportunity to kill her once the spell effect wore off.
 
The more I looked, the more helpless I felt. Finally, I took a deep breath and began putting on Filandrel’s things piece by piece. I donned his bloody robe, and picked up his staff. Emotions threatened to rise to the surface, along with more tears, but I pushed it all down, deep into myself where I could lock it away to be dealt with later. Now was not the time.
 
Hasim looked over at me. “If we don’t do something right now, Secilia dies.”
“If I drop the wall,” I replied numbly. “We all die.”
“If you drop it.” Hasim said. “I can keep it occupied, while you spread out and figure out what else to do.”
“Don’t drop it.” Grimaldus stated with conviction.
“Okay.” My voice sounded like it was someone else’s.
 
The dragon looked around then, at all of us individually. “Where’s the gnome?” His question rumbled in the air.
“Dead.” Grimaldus replied.
“You fucking killed her, you asshole.” Hasim spat. “She’s dead.”
“No…” the dragon replied. “No… no no!” He turned and rushed back toward the throne, vanishing into thin air as he obviously teleported straight into the throne room.
 
Oh fuck. No!
 
I dropped the wall, and we all charged in the dragon’s wake. As we drew near, I could see Rowan sitting on the throne, a look of intense concentration on her face. Alucard standing between her and the dragon, facing off against his old friend. The dragon grabbed him and threw his body to the ground, where Alucard lay, motionless.
Grabbing hold of Grimaldus’ shoulder, I pulled us through a dimensional door to appear right in front of the dragon, taking Alucard’s place shielding Rowan.
 
Grimaldus healed Alucard, and I stood there, feeling as though I was staring death in the face, as the dragon clawed a bloody gash across Grimaldus’ chest.
 
I turned to check on Rowan, and saw that she had vanished, disappeared somewhere. The dragon began to dissipate, as though he was banished. The desiccated remains of the great tree began to sprout new life and grow before our eyes. Earthquakes shook the desert, and I could feel living nature coming back, plants and trees sprouting to new life amongst the ruins. The dragon grasped desperately at himself and his surroundings, before disappearing entirely. A massive crack appeared on the throne, sundering it in two. The salt statues of those who had failed in years past crumbled into dust. The dragons in the skies let out great roars as they, too, disappeared.
 
Everything went quiet. Inira’s mist came swirling around me. For a moment, I was tempted to keep my bag holding her coffin sealed, but in the end, I decided that I wouldn’t betray her like that – even though she was no longer the Inira whom I called friend.
 
I looked around. There was no sign of Rowan, no hint in the room that she had ever even been here… except for the new life sprouting in the ancient desiccated tree… She succeeded… she actually did it. But at what cost? Even before I asked myself the question, I knew… the price she paid was everything. Her life, in exchange for the world. I don’t know if I would have been able to make the same decision… I’d like to think that I would, but I honestly don’t know… I don’t know if I can be that good.
 
“What happened?” Hasim ran up.
“She used the throne.” I told him softly.
“Did it work?”
“Did you not see the dragons disappear?” I asked. “Do you not feel nature coming back?” As I said that, I felt and indescribable loneliness, as though something was gone from the world that had been here before… I suppose we will have to wait and see what the repercussions of her choice are…
“Is she gone, or is she a god now?” Hasim asked, confused. “What happened?”
“I don’t know.” I told him truthfully. All I know is that she’s gone.
“Grimaldus, you’ve talked to the gods before…” Hasim started desperately. “I’ve seen you do it to Shard. Can you try to talk to her?”
Grimaldus shook his head. “Only divine intervention can do that.”
“Is she a goddess now?” I asked, a tiny beacon of hope rising in my chest.
“No.” Grimaldus crushed that burgeoning hope with a single word. “She destroyed herself to use the throne.”
“Then she is a saint.” Hasim replied.
“Yes.” Grimaldus confirmed.
 
I felt empty as we left the city… I carried Filandrel’s body on a floating disk, needing to bring him back to Alcarin at least. There is much yet that I must do… but for that evening, I joined in the celebrations after a fashion.
 
The Charbelly dwarves hosted a massive celebration in honor of the victory. In customary dwarven fashion, they also took the opportunity to honor the dead. I joined them, pouring two drinks into the ground… one for Rowan, and one for Filandrel (although he would likely abhor the practice). Then, I drank with them far into the night. I can count on one hand the times that I’ve drunk with dwarves… and it always ends up with me drowning in ale… I didn’t even try to moderate myself this time, I wanted the numbness to overtake my sorrow, if only for a moment.
 
Paragon Cindy and Setinder came over, bearing Karkhadon’s weapons, and began arguing over who should keep them as trophies. Hasim said something about them being treasures of his people, so they gave them to him, before Cindy looked around and asked “Where’s the little one?”
Curse my decision to drink this night, for the ale loosened enough of my inhibitions that at the mere mention of Rowan, tears spilled down my cheeks as I shook my head.
“Oh…” the dwarf said solemnly.
“She used the throne,” Hasim explained. “And healed the trees, and sent all the dragons away, and… I don’t fucking know…”
Grimaldus walked away, heading purposefully towards the bards, who he conversed with for several minutes.
I ignored them all, trying to drown myself in another dwarven ale, dashing my welling tears when they threatened to fall.
 
As the night wore on, I looked around at my companions. As odd a group as we were, they had become important to me… and I didn’t know if I would ever see them again. Just in case, I passed out scrolls of sending, with the instruction that if they ever need to contact me, all they have to do is send a message and I’ll do my best.
 
Hasim asked about the dragon’s hoard, which Priscilla ended up revealing was hidden in the tree – that is now restored to life. Hogar chimed in, saying that he basically had a harder fight than we had, and lost two golems, therefore was entitled to a larger share. Honestly, I didn’t care about the share of the dragon’s hoard, but I was drunk, and his arrogant words angered me. “Would you have preferred to duel Filandrel amid the fight with the Decimator of Cities?” I snapped.
 
“Yeah, sorry about your old man.” He said placatingly. “How’d you do it? How’d you win?” He asked.
I just stared at him, unable to formulate a proper response… that is something that I will unpack and deal with at a later time… not something I was prepared for that night…
“There, there.” Cindy said, passing me another ale. “Keep drinking.”
And I did…
 
Much of the rest of the night was a blur. At some point, I was thinking about the sending scrolls that I’d handed out, and then remembered that I needed to let Ravlor know that I survived. If I had been in my right mind, I would likely have waited until morning, but I didn’t.
 
Late in the night, Grimaldus and I left the celebration. “You know,” Grimaldus said. “With your newfound rank and station, and having inherited all of his things, there will be people trying to pull you to their side…”
“They already are.” Well, the Prince is, but that’s kind of beside the point…
“I spoke to Shard…” Grimaldus said gravely.
“Okay. What did he say?” Not something else already…
“He told me I should eventually challenge him, which sounds like a decent end to my life, to be honest. But first, he mentioned something I hadn’t thought of… he told me to live my life.”
“I thought that’s what you were doing.” I was confused, although it might have been the ale.
“I’ve been chasing monster after monster after monster with this,” he held up his mace, still glowing disconcertingly. “So I think I’ll holding onto this for a while. But there is something a little more important first…”
“What?”
“Marry me.”
Wait… what? “Are you serious?” I asked incredulously.
“Plus, whenever he dies, we can just remarry, right?” Meriwald chimed in from his perch on my shoulder. I shushed him, and Grimaldus pinched his beak shut, effectively muffling most of his commentary.
“You’ll have to come with me to Alcarin…” I said hesitantly, unsure if Grimaldus fully understood that I will be going back to Alcarin for what is likely going to be a long time.
“I was planning on it.” He stated matter-of-factly.
“Okay.” I nodded.
 
So, I suppose that means that I’m betrothed now… I will take some time to process everything later, this included, but right now, I need to rest. Hopefully there will be no dreams this night…