On The Road #2

While riding on the road today towards the Goliath commune, we had a conversation about Legacy, specifically about his increasingly impulsive behavior recently. The destruction of the Aniplex was apparently a wizard crime— not to mention Anastasia believes them throwing the orb at her in Casriga was Legacy trying to kill her. I hadn’t particularly thought of it like that I had honestly believed that Legacy was just being ignorant… which isn’t an excuse either and the very idea agitates me—however it makes me wonder if I am losing my edge… I hope not, if father knew he’d be sorely disappointed in me. Around dark we found several Black Dog corpses and Anastasia’s sister Evgenii’s dog critically wounded- and her nowhere to be found except for a teleportation circle from.. some foreign wizards. More than likely this is Castygy’s doing as well.. he’s baiting Anastasia and it’s working perfectly. He’s young, naïve, and on a suicide mission. I believe.. if he were to die while I was with him, I would feel g’tilasili [Another ink blot sits on the page from another long pause of consideration] Oddly I am quite fond of having friends and I’m not too keen on the idea of them dying—I’ve stared into it’s crimson hues twice now— I’ve escaped the grasp of the council of 7 Matrons— I’ve stared death in the face more times than I can count. If I cannot keep one of my very few friends alive then I’m rather useless and maybe trying to fix myself is a lost cause, normal people don’t let their friends die.
 
The thought makes my chest hurt.
 
I don’t like it.
 
What is happening to me?