Journal Entry

I am no longer confident in things here. [Ink pools slightly here, a sign of the pen sitting on the page longer than it should as the writer considers the next sentence.] My meeting with Thomas has left me unsure whether I was ever actually the lead in this partnership or not. It’s not as if I’m unused to being used or manipulated. Simply that I am aware of these times, my role in them, and how I stand to benefit from being a tool.
 
And, I had the dream again. Same as it always is. But it’s been a while. I am no longer a child, scared in the dark of the dead and dying. Fears like that have little hold over me anymore. I have ensured that anything that might compromise my goals has scarred over & drained out of me. All that is left is what is needed to do what must be done. To ensure that I have everything I deserve.
 
I suppose, in the long run, it matters not if we are using each other to further our own independent goals. I am not an unreasonable man.