Confusion. Just, general confusion. Jay had hoped she would be past that by now, having found the purpose she (apparently) had been looking for, but there were so many things to think about, still. So many choices to make. Where does one even start? Joining an order, is that it? Is it really that simple? Jay thought that it perhaps didn't ought to be. And she didn't really like what she knew about the orders anyway, no matter the goodness of their quest. There was just a bit too much of... Well. She honestly didn't really know. Something. Was it power?
Even thought it felt unnecessary at first, doing the Nimbolos' work for them, the expectation (and realization) of dungeoneering and fighting was a welcome distraction. If only everything was that simple. But no, right, that exactly was what she wanted to get away from.