When you thought ONE Leroy was enough

Dear Diary,
 
Omg. Diary. Oh. My. God. Leroy has family in the area. I mean, I always KNEW he was from around here, but there are more of him. Like, a whole tribe of them. It's. Terrifying. But, totally worth wanting to pull my hair out in frustration of the sheer STUPID because it comes with moonshine. Like, they all make moonshine AND will smoke weed. It's not a perfect trade-off, but HOO that stuff is good. AND they had a job for us. Namely, the McCoy's land was all dying and stuff, and they thought the Hatfield's were causing it to happen through some ritual or something. We all met (Igor, Leroy, Elora, Ruby, and uh...someone else I'm SORRY Diary it's been a bit) Leroy's...mother? Aunt? I don't remember the relationship. Some lady named Dirty Tina and HOO she had some STORIES to tell. I miiight haven't gotten black-out drunk and done something (because moonshine, DUH), but thank GOD I don't remember. BUT, TWO things were totally worth the trip. FIRST, I got not one, but TWO jugs of moonshine (one from the Hatfields, one from the McCoys), which totally taste the same. They're probably going to find out that they actually all used to be the same family or something, which would be HILARIOUS. And TWO, I got to dress Leroy up to look like a GIRL. And you know what? I've got SKILL. Leroy was quite a cute girl, all things considered. Solid 6, or maybe a 7 if I was feeling generous. I just wish I could have managed to make it less...mullet-y. But Leenora (Leroy) turned out quite decent. I HAVE to come up with an excuse to visit there again so I can take another pass at it. We met the Hatfields when they were doing some sort of weird rituals, and I managed to convince them that I was lost to figure out what kind of weird nonsense they were doing. We all did weed together and I learned a...song of directions? To get back to town. They were soooo nice and gave the aforementioned moonshine. They were actually trying to perform a ritual to stop the decay from spreading to their side of the river, so they were totally innocent. We managed to find the problem, so that was cool. That was when I got blackout drunk from all the activities and again SOOO glad I don't remember.
 
ALSO I AM MORTIFIED. Ruby INSISTED that we go back to check on that Totem thing that I sold the info for and the lady was there and NOTICED me. I TRIED to keep my casting quiet but she SAW me. Like, sold the info whatever, it didn't seem THAT IMPORTANT, but now that I know that they are keeping some asshole god named Kezef contained to hold the balance of the world I might have fucked up. I mean, he might eat the world who cares, but most of my friends (ew) seem to care about that and I SUPPOSE I can't get high and drunk and fucked if everyone's dead so I GUESS I care about it too but OMG they almost found out I sold the info of the location to her. Thank GOD I did an excellent job of misdirecting them. [K: she did not]
 
So it turns out she was a part of a cult...order...thing? And she did NOT want to get caught, so she totally killed herself. THANK GOD. My secret is safe. No one will find out about the money thing. [K: -looks at the camera- -sighs- Eh, she'll figure it out.] It is a shame, though. She was kinda pretty. Ah well~. I can always go back and visit Grayson! He got that tattoo that we talked about however long ago. It's not like, my favorite thing in the world, but he's got enough muscles that I'm willing to overlook it. It's weird having a reoccurring partner. I mean, it's not bad, cause he's TOTALLY a dynamo in the sack, but normally people get sick of me by now or realize that I can't or don't have anything else to give them. Once they don't need anything from- NOPE. Not going down that path! Actually, I did score all that moonshine, and Grayson is nearby~
 
Bye Diary!