Dear Diary: Two years ago

Nov 11: One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, and spin.....
 
The dancing master says I am one of the best students he has ever taught. He let me pick the dances after only the second lesson. It's like flying, the room spinning so fast. All I can hear is the music, all I can see are smiling faces and blurs of light. Nothing can ever go wrong on a dance floor. Tomorrow I will start taking lessons with Finnan. He is so very...bulky. I have a hard time imagining that he is going to be anything but dangerous for my toes. But dancing is so wonderful. And how could I be anything but excited at the prospect of getting to dance for an entire night? And then go to as many parties as I get invited to...
 
One, two, and three, four. One, two, and three, four. One, two, and three, four...
 
My wedding dress was brought in today and it is beautiful. I think it is twice my size and pale blue. The silk is covered in diamonds and pearls and sparkles when I move...if I can move. I believe my mother is trying to get my waist down at least six inches which is going to make breathing hard, eating impossible, and dancing, well...It doesn't matter anymore. At dinner Finnan informed my parents he would not be dancing at the wedding. He views it as vulgar and will not have anyone in his household engaging in the act. He also disapproves of sweets. And so the wedding menu has to be reworked. Mother says that I will be much healthier and possibly become pretty once I am eating a better diet. She disapproves of all the sweets I eat as well. But since my dress is so tight, I guess it really doesn't matter what they serve, I won't be eating anything.
 
One and two and three and four, one and two and three and four, one and two and three and four...
 
Mother and Father had a conversation after I was sent out after dinner. And she came to tell me about it afterwards. Because Finnan doesn't approve of dancing or sweets, my coming out ball has to change. Instead of a ball it will just be a dinner. And there will be a lot of different meats served as Finnan is a hunter. It's his wedding present to me. I tried to remind mother that I don't eat meat, but she told me I was being difficult. I also am not allowed to invite my friends as now that it isn't a ball, there will not be enough seats for anyone but family and Finnan's company. And the dinner will be held on the same day as the wedding, after the ceremony. Mother says this way I will not be tempted to dance in public and embarrass my new husband. And so, that's how it's going to be.
 
....and.....walk off the floor......