A Begolian Necktie

I didn't know he was Begolian when I slit his throat. Well, I guess I kind of did. But I really didn't care. If he was from Northal would I have cared? Should I have cared?
 
Wait, let me back up. We're on a boat right now. Reminder Wren: Boats are terrible, they;re the worst. Never get on one again. They're cramped, and small, and smell like fish, and they're really dark. The only way I'm even able to close my eyes at night and feel ok is because I'm sharing a room with Ele. N̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶r̶o̶o̶m̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶.̶ ̶
 
So we're sailing, well- the crew is sailing. I'm attempting to avoid Ele's passive-aggressive glances that she think she's hiding and trying to read but I'm not sure how long one can expect me to stare at the same page of notes and try to figure out an incredibly specific spell when all I know are the ingredients. Anyway- we're sailing and this massive ship fires at us! Celrin & Ele went to talk to them but I guess weren't as silvertounged as they'd hoped. Because they kept firing at us. Noppa jumped into action right away, he was incredible. Rainer was firing left and right, and I literally had nothing I could do. They were so far away, and I don't know how to command a ship. I don't know how Noppa knew how to do it but it was t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ infuriating. I was able to do nothing to help. At all.
 
So with all of their bravery we eventually were able to board their boat and leave. Only before we left .. I slit a man's throat. I put him to sleep first but then, well, at the time I said it was because I thought we were killing everybody but now I think I just wanted to prove I could be useful. Normally I think to much before I do anything, but this time I didn't think at all. I just acted. I̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶L̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶ By the way everyone else reacted I think it had the opposite effect I was going for though. Well, Celrin was fine with it, I'm agreeing with her more and more these days.
 
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Noppa sure wouldn't shut about it the rest of the ride here though. It almost made me care less about the man. Still wish he wasn't Begolian though. It's unsettling how little I care honestly. But we finally got to the heart a little while ago. it's incredibly beautiful here, like they say. Stunning really. Lots of rules though, and the thing is- you're not even able to break them. It just doesn't work. I just said a teeny tiny lie and it just didn't come out. Rhea would hate it here. I'm not sure how I feel yet. I'm just excited to meet the wizard! Tomorrow. Hopefully! I'm going to ask her about the Lexicon, fingers crossed!
 
-w.