Session 37 - The Merits of Soggy Toast

Plot points/Scenes

Preplanning

• FAVORS: Fritz gets three favors, Drant none, Jalan gets one, Alvira two, Methos four
  • Using investigation, rule stands that every five points on a check = 1 favor
  • A favor may be used after preplanning and while the heist is actually happening, as a way of retconning and saying your character would have done this before we got into the heist
• PLANNING POINTS: Alvira has four pieces of information (“planning points”) she can collect and return with, Fritz two, Drant three, Jalan five, Methos one
  • Using acrobatics, rule stands that every five points on a check = 1 favor
  • Planning points are essentially how many pieces of information/tasks your character has the time to collect or accomplish before the heist takes place (when there's a countdown timer to heist time)
• Collecting information
  • Response time: there’s no one within shouting distance and no consistent communication between the Embassy and the barracks
    • Two forms of alarm: one bell on the top of the building (if rung makes response time very fast), or a person physically running to the barracks (slower response time, certain response)
      • If the bell isn’t rung, we can keep things quiet within the building itself with little reinforcements fairly easily
  • Escape routes: Drant realizes that we’ll have a pretty easy time escaping between the rust monsters and Jack/Jill, but the more loot we take the messier it’ll be
    • Also, because it’s sort of in the middle of town, dodging between houses will make escaping much easier
    • Found an exit route through the forest, and a cave to hide out in
    • Jalan able to set up a failsafe that caves in the front of the cave with a secret passage out the back of the cave
    • Honestly what even I thought we had two hours before dawn and we needed to finish this heist well before then
  • Alarms: Methos investigates and realizes that the Embassy’s Abjuration-magic defenses aren’t totally in his area of expertise, but decides he wants to try to trick the Embassy people into thinking he’s a magic repair person and that he’ll just shut down the system for a bit to implement some “upgrades”
    • It’s also like four in the morning, not suspicious at all
    • But he rolls really well on a disguise check so none of us are recognizable from our encounter previously
  • Roger: Jalan discovers he sits in a room in the southeast corner of the room, he doesn’t visit the Embassy here often but is here today because of the magical items, other bullshit etc. which are considered “Ragnar worthy”
  • Blueprints: the room we’re trying to get into is on the north side of the building, a cellar sort of attached to the north side of the building, the main entrance is on the west side of the building
  • Vault: Jalan and Fritz split up, Fritz gives Jalan her local craftsmen connections and tells him to tell them she sent him; Fritz hits the books at the library
    • Pentrum Knockerny: helped build the Stalwartz Embassy, serves Jalan tea and scones (leprechaun, it’s his custom)
      • Door practically uncrackable, need the key, keep the key with the highest ranking official, usually with the mayor but right now probably with Roger because Roger’s the higher rank while he’s here
        • It’d be nigh impossible to open the door without the key (he’s oozing self-confidence, loves to tell people how intelligent he is)
      • Three stage: magical, verbal, physical
        • Key (but apparently not the master key), with the right spell, and the right voice
        • The key that Roger has is apparently the master key, and will override the three-requirement lock
      • He himself moved here because he was so proud of this door he was curious to see if anybody ever broke in - no one has
        • That seems extreme but okay
      • Would love to tell Jalan more but signed an NDA
      • On Fritz:
        • PK: “And that Fritz is a character, isn’t she!”
        • (F: “aw!”)
        • PK: “I’ve never seen anyone try to make phantasmium and fail so spectacularly before! That shit was hilarious!”
        • (F: “...aw.”)
        • J: *laughing*
        • (F: “that bitch, literally nobody knows how to forge phantasmium, he probably hadn’t even seen any in his life until last week, I’d like to see him try it-”)
    • Fritz - library research
      • Vault door practically unbreakable, mostly the same info Jalan got but discovers something Jalan didn’t: a failsafe surrounding the lock mechanisms - four-digit passcodes from two people will override the lock just like Roger’s master key will
        • Just one of these codes will override a part of the door to the point that the rest can be cracked with thieves tools
        • Mayor holds one and he’s probably pretty careless with it, it may be something simple like 1-2-3-4, or has it on a post-it note on his desk
  • Roger: Fritz suggests maybe we find something about Roger we can exploit, a weakness, a fetish
    • D: “oh no, are we going the seducing route”
    • F: “no no, that’s not exactly what - ….you know what actually, I can think of one of us who has both Disguise Self and a high Charisma…”
    • J: “no, no, because if things get touchy-feely”
    • F: “be the sexual bait! Feel my pain-”
    • J: “I’m sexual bait all the time-”
    • F: “but unwilling sexual bait, feel my PAIN”
  • Alvira does a couple of unfortunately poor checks, thinks that Roger wakes up at noon and won’t wake up for anything, we can traipse around the building loud as thunder and he won’t get up to investigate
    • J: “that...seems like unreliable intel”
  • Alvira: every single day Roger eats three eggs with a side of toast, refuses to let anyone else toast his toast, has to find somebody in the building and convince them that the piece of bread he’s selected is the best piece of bread and that the way he toasts toast is the superior way of toasting, and chastises the other person while doing so
    • In other words, if we’re looking for the best time to distract him, it’s while he’s talking about bread, around 6:21am
  • Vault alarm: 110% some kind of alarm will go off once the vault door is open
  • Jalan is aware that the entire Alarm system is interconnected and Dispelling one portion of it will set off the rest of it
• Fritz rolls for investigating back at the library: looking for patents for security systems that might have been registered and hidden in the public domain
  • (after DM tells her she’s used her last planning point like four times and she rebuts that no, he’s drunk, she’s mentioned that she has a point left like four times but never used it to roll for anything - back in Iowa Stacie gives DM the “got him” finger guns and Anna cheers)
  • Finds that there is a secret room within the basement where some really juicy magic stuff is stored
  • Each pile of treasure is guarded by four spectral hounds
  • The basement is guarded by “knights”, armored guards
  • But...nothing on mechanical security systems, or the patents she was looking for, you know what though not gonna look a gift treasure room in the mouth
• Two parties: Strike and Distraction or Break-in and Infiltrate or...what
  • So much screaming confusion about what the teams are named and who is on them, we settle for Team B for Break-in the Back, and Team I for Infiltrate
  • Break-in: Drant, Alvira (disguised as a goblin and an orc), waiting to be let in the back by the I Team [The B Team]
  • Infiltrate: Fritz, Jalan, Methos [The I Team]
    • Magical security team, talk our way in, Jalan will sneak through to open the back door for the B Team
• Drant Augury: asks if there may be any Millennium Artifacts in the vault
  • Weal: yesssss there’s something juicy in there

Infiltration of the Stalwartz Embassy

• First contact and disguises
  • Jalan introduces himself as Daniel Flugen, says we’re here to adjust the magical security system
  • Jalan uses a flashback to forge papers (contract, terms of service) that we are members of a highly respected magical security team and that we are allowed access to everything
    • A poor roll (luck!) a great roll says he’s really well off - we have full access, and are in the back door!
  • It’s like 5:20am
    • 6:21am is the toast story, we don’t know what time dawn is
  • Jalan Detects Magic, trying to detect the source of the system - crit fails, finds some altar in a great hall, where people are like weirdly bowing down and worshipping Ragnar, believes it’s the source and starts fiddling with it
    • F: “there’s a cult room and an altar in Town Fucking Hall, the Empire is so much further gone than I thought.”
    • DM: “But everybody worships God Emperor Trump-”
    • Hysterical laughter - he meant God Emperor Ragnar, but the damage is done
      • Crit success on a deception check says that he’s able to convince them he’s looking for the center of the magical security system, and he’s looking to implement a new Ragnar Magic Security 3.0, they totally believe him and lead our team directly into the control room and leaves us alone
    • Now in the control room, Fritz is up!
      • Really good investigation check finds the button for internal shutdown (it has a time limit before it reinstates itself, but it does turn off all internal alarm systems)
      • Also offhandedly says she scans the room for a post-it note with a four digit code et voila! 5555

Go Time...

• Jalan is distracting Roger in the kitchen
  • Talking about the merits of toast
  • R: “You must toast toast in 1 minute and 53 seconds, no more, no less-”
• Fritz is by the vault, code at the ready and tinkers tools in hand, Methos is manning the button up in the control room, ready to disable the security system once Fritz triggers the vault alarm
• The B Team is watching the exit
• Fritz approaches the vault, talking to the guards by the door - “halt! Who goes there?”
  • F: “I’m from the security company. You know, if you want a show...Roger is tearing my boss a new one about toast. Just down the hall.”
  • Bad persuasion check says they really want to go see but can’t, Drant (outside, just barely within 30 feet) lets her reroll it for a natural 17
• Fritz starts unlocking the door - sets off an alarm, Methos up in the control room sees a very obvious green button pop up on the right side of the panel, smashes it, but his perception was low and he’s a little too slow and an alarm chirps before he shuts it down
  • From Fritz’s perspective, an alarm just barely starts to go off but is quickly cut off - she hopes nobody heard but doesn’t wait to find out - rushes downstairs
• From Drant/Alvira’s perspective, the two guards at the back door seem to jump at something and start to move to go inside to investigate - Alvira sneaks up to them and Vulcan nerve-pinches one into unconsciousness, he drops to the ground, his partner looks startled, pulls out a bell and is about to ring it, DM says “Drant go, what’re you doing, you have 3, 2, 1…!”
  • D: *steps out from the shadows* “would you like to talk about our lord and savior, Heimdall?” *thorn whip*
  • Thorn whips the bell out of his hand, then knocks him out
    • The bell makes a slight noise as Drant knocks it away
• ROLL INITIATIVE
  • (flash cut, while action is going down, to a disguised Jalan chilling in the kitchen with Roger while he screams about toast)

The Heist Goes Loud

• Methos crits initiative - he’s just hit the disable alarm button, heads downstairs, sees Jalan arguing with Roger - M: “we’ve done all we had to boss, we can go.” - but is very un-charismatic (M: “no no no, clearly soggy toast is the MVP here-”), ends up making Roger pissed that he isn’t taking the toast seriously, now Roger wants to arrest both of them
  • R: “soggy *bleeping* TOAST-”
  • J: “most people prefer waffles, at least we can agree that toast is clearly the best!” (*poor luck roll*)
  • R: “*BLEEPING* WAAAFFFFFLES---”
    • Flips a table off to the side in fury, pulls out handcuffs and handcuffs Jalan, but Methos crits on a slight of hand check and steals the handcuff key off of Roger while he’s raging and stuffs it in Jalan’s pocket
  • J: “I was on your side, I said I did like toast!!”
  • R: “down to the basement with you-”

• Fritz, downstairs
  • Uses a favor to retcon finding a symbol of the Mechanical Enlightenment within Tsed’s stuff
    • Infinity icon made out of gears
  • She stabs herself with Adrenaline, marches forward - the five guards downstairs step out, demanding that she halt and that she’s not on the list of allowed personnel - she scoffs, pulls out the ME symbol, then demands “we’ve been infiltrated, I’m here in disguise, we must move the goods now-”
    • They all look extremely confused
    • F: “...huh. I thought at least one of you would be a part of this. Guess I overestimated this cult. That might be a good thing actually-”
    • She then instead intimidate-barges her way through, saying “get out of my way, we have to get this stuff out now-” (really good intimidation check, natural 19 for 27(DM let her use intelligence)
      • They say “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here on official business, go right on ahead”
• Drant meanwhile, with two guards outside incapacitated, makes his way inside and into the basement to see if Fritz needs help
• Back upstairs, Jalan and Methos are in handcuffs, getting dragged off to the cells in the basement - get as far as the weird altar chamber with the worshippers
  • Methos uses a favor to have used some contact poison, when he was crying about soggy toast and wiped his face on a tissue, and handed it off to Roger
    • Poison was some sort of chloroform-esque, Roger pulls out a pillow, sits on a bench in the church-like hall and decides he’s just gonna take a nap right here
• Alvira sees like 10-15 people charging down the hallway to where the vault was, uses a favor to create some anesthesia-laughing gas bomb and tosses at them
• Jalan unlocks his handcuffs with the key Methos slipped him, pretends to stumble to the ground, and then stabs the guard in the neck with triple advantage for some reason (DM’s handing it all out tonight, whoof) when he tries to pick him up, and does so in such a way that it looks like he just passed out, then stands up
  • J: “...huh, looks like he was tired, too!”
• Fritz haste-runs into the corner, sees a large spectral dog guarding Terrence and four smaller ones guarding a wall in front of where she knows the treasure to be stashed
  • Terrence is unconscious, tied up, and crying
    • F: “unconscious and crying, poor boy’s having a rough time”
    • DM: “shut up, you see streaks on his face showing that he’s been crying-”
    • J: “he was in an acting troupe, he probably wears mascara”
  • She stabs him with lidocaine, confidently enough that the big alpha dog steps aside for her, Terrence wakes up trembling from the shot, now awake - she moves to confidently stride past the smaller pups to the treasure wall, they’re not convinced like the big boye and attack her - the entire basement turns to look at her
    • D: “god damn it Fritz”
    • (F: “I haven’t even pulled out a weapon or anything and I was super convincing earlier, maybe their baby dogs just don't like me, we might still be fine-”
• Drant pops his AC seeing that things are starting to go loud
• Methos tries to poison with his Chakram of Venom, kills someone but does it in a way that Roger notices and wakes up to a bloody mess
  • R: “nooooo diiiiieeeee---”
  • F: “we’re so fucked”
  • M: “how long did that favor-chloroform last?”
  • F: “not even a full round”
  • M: “aww”
  • NO RETCON! Drant/Methos argues that most of the damage was from poison, not arterial spray, so a perception roll says Roger doesn’t see anything suspicious, Methos goes over to try to speed up the sleeping process by putting his chloroform cloth back over his face
    • R: “what are you doing with that cloth”
    • M: “you have some toast crumbs on your face”
    • R: *doesn’t believe him* “you’re what-?”
    • M: “you had some soggy toast on your face, you must’ve eaten some while you were sleeping”
    • R: “SOGGY *BLEEPING* TOAAASSTT”
    • (DM: “he’s awake now-”)
    • M: “what have I done, I was just helping a brother out man-”
• Phil is asleep, we must call it here

Plot type

Session

Parent Plot

Act 4: Untitled