Session 41 - Wedding, Wolves, and Wonders

Plot points/Scenes

Preparations for the Road

• Modifying the Pleasure Barge - looking at its existing modifications, Jalan wants to replace the bulky metal plates and spikes that we slapped on it in a panic after the Vocantem with wood to make it lighter and quieter and faster
• J: "you can just do that, right? That's not hard."
• F: ".....I've been working for you all week."
• J: "...oh. Right.....I'll go find a carpenter"
• Jalan finds a carpenter who will do it for 500 because he's got other stuff to do this week like build a barn for his grandpa, bargains it down to 300, then 100 if he also brings him a bottle of Pseudodragon Vodka
• Jalan also goes to a blacksmith to try to pawn off the metal that used to be plated to the barge - ends up settling on he'll pay 100, and give Jalan a set of armor that's been laying around for awhile
• Overwhelming belief in your own actions, beliefs, and social graces: +1 breastplate
• Armor of Overconfidence
• Jalan can't find a bottle of Pseudodragon Vodka for sale anywhere, so steals the three-quarters full bottle of Pseudodragon Vodka from the pleasure barge, tops it off with the shitty methanol-vodka and sleight-of-hands it to look sealed, and brings it to the carpenter for the discount
• (F: "one more reason for me to hate you..."
• (J: "you don't know it was me!!"
• (F: "who else could it have been?"
• Upon bringing the vodka to the carpenter, carpenter insists that they share a shot together - Jalan's wary because it's not pure Pseudodragon Vodka but the guy insists and Jalan's lucky, because the ratio was so small he's unable to tell the difference
• In preparing for our first journey out with a full caravan after Darker Dungeons, Fritz assigns Gregory to spend a day sparring with and assessing Tristan Jeochhmann (he's the only 'combat corps' guy we're not super confident in his abilities), Gregory reports that Jeochhmann is a terrible physical fighter but is a good back-line support fighter and a pretty good illusionist
• Trying to buy horses - only two even exist in Stalwartz for sale
• One near death, one pedigreed, one enslaved goliath advertised as a "workhorse" (Fritz enquires about buying him, asking price is 3000, she says "nevermind")
• But Naomi brings her own horse
• Caravan setup
• Picking a path - a route directly next to a bandit camp, a route between two orc encampments, a longer theoretically safer route through the mountains skirting the path
• Jalan visits a tavern and asks some well-travelled locals - they say don't travel the main path, there is an encampment of orcs nearby and they've gotten aggressive lately
• He also says how he's headed up Stonedeep way because he heard that there's a good market for selling food etc. up that way because of the disaster
• We pick the path through the mountains, more roundabout, 26 miles, decide to take our time (if we were relatively quick we could do it in two days, three days would be a relaxed pace and being careful with making camp for the night
• Guide: Fritz, Forager: Vincent; Scout: Gregory; Lookout: Drant
• Fritz buys cartographers' tools and a map of the area

It's A - Nice Day, For A - Cat Wedding

• Like three hours in, we come across a couple of people on the side of the road, crying and in distress
• Female tabaxi, male leprechaun
• In tattered rags, look hungry
• "We ran away from home, they wouldn't let us marry" (inter-species relationships are frowned upon in general)
• They're from Stalwartz
• Vincent's insight, he could marry them for 25 gold worth of silver
• "It's not smart to give you our names..."
• F: "well...we already know you're from Stalwartz. And that you're a tabaxi and a leprechaun. I'm not really sure how giving us your names gives us any more power over you"
• T: "NO! YOU'RE GOING TO TURN US IN!"
• F: "No no no! I mean-"
• J: "just don't tell your name to the bug...he does evil sorcery"
• T: "SORCERY??? The Power of Ragnar Compels You!" *holds out a little symbol of Ragnar*
• Ultimately give us their names, Steve and Rosemarie Dean
• Fritz formally offers that they trust and join us, we'll marry them and they'll accompany us onward
• Jalan insists that Steve is his manservant for the journey
• Rosemarie asks what she can do to help - used to be a clothes-washer, not otherwise particularly skilled
• Fritz points out we just left town and are only going to be on the road for a couple days, so we don't really need a clothes-washer because we all have multiple sets of clothes anyway...but then we start joking about her washing Fishfingers' clothes because who the fuck knows if he's ever bathed before
• The wedding
• Fritz is able to find some beautiful flowers for a bouquet and some decorations
• Vincent asks if anybody can play music, (F: "don't tell Methos"), Terrence offers to play, Jalan passes around liquor
• Powdered silver sprinkled over their heads, put their hands in, join their fingers together, spell is cast congealing the silver together, raise joined hands, short vows, one more burst of magic, congealed silver bursts back into powder
• Bouquet - Naomi had set it up so that she would be the one to catch the bouquet
• Drant: "no she doesn't!"
• Thorn Whip, redirects it to Fritz ("I hit the deck")...
• (D: "would you really be able to not catch something thrown at you that you weren't expecting?
• F: "....yes? Not only yes, but I would be paying attention and actively trying not to catch it."
• ...instead throws it to Isabelle who catches it and smiles cordially but looks a little sad, Fritz makes a mental note to talk to Gregory later tonight

Invisible Wolves

• Setting off after the wedding, resume march!
• Gregory stops the caravan: he thinks we're being followed, he keeps seeing things flitting at the edges of his vision - Jalan casts Detect Magic, doesn't sense anything
• Drant looks around, Guidance, surrounded by approximately 30 entities, approximately human-sized, by sound (not sight)
• Feigns ignorance, tells the caravan to keep going, circles up the main trio and tells them the scoop
• While we're conferring, Fishfingers: "I cast Magic Missile!"
• There's a giant purple-furred direwolf at the back of the caravan, Fishfingers misses terribly, it just continues watching
• Order caravan to take defensive positions and continue forward march, the direwolf keeps pace just out of shortbow range
• Two wolves jump out and attack Linus, then two wolves jump out at Gregory - they're basically waiting at the edge of the trees for people to pass by
• On top of the barge, Drant can't see any wolves but the big purple one even though we're being guerilla attacked all over
• D: "sigh....something is wrong"
• Drant jumps off and starts sauntering back toward the wolf
• J: "what...are you doing?"
• D: "I have to go do something"
• Fritz starts jabbering at Jalan about the last time that Drant said he had to do something, he was controlled by a mind flayer and saw nothing wrong with his actions, but Jalan's already on his way
• Jalan follows Drant backwards, the purple wolf continues backing up, keeping a distance and refusing to let them get closer
• Fritz suggests that Methos sneak and flank, and net it so that they can catch up - he tries to do so but steps right into a wolf that was waiting to attack anything that walked by - once the nearby wolves notice him, they start backing away - not running, but keeping distance like the big boi
• Then the big wolf turns around and the little ones follow it
• Drant's dilemma
• Once the wolves turn around, so does Drant - back at the caravan, he's super distraught, Fritz tries to talk him down, discussing the hive mind, he's pacing and ranting about this is directed at him, why can HE not see stuff, he's not listening to Fritz
• His circles get bigger and bigger and farther into the edges of the woods, Fritz notices he's passing dangerously close to a pair of wolves lying in wait that he can't see, tries to get him to just sit down without tipping him off that they're there, he's ranting about how he can see everything, why is it only him that can't see the wolves, something's wrong...
• He wanders off into the woods in pacing, eventually gets too close to the wolves and they attack him, Jalan calls out for everybody with a ranged weapon to ready it to attack anything that comes out of the woods
• Drant emerges from the woods - everyone who was readied had to make wisdom saves or release their held attacks without noticing that the target was Drant, Fritz doesn't really have to roll but does so anyway, crit fails for a grand total of 0, she almost shits her pants but hadn't readied a ranged attack, instead grapples Drant and forces him to sit the fuck down and stay put
• A little more waiting, the wolves are actually gone...we cautiously set off again but there are no more reappearances, and we ultimately get ready to stop for the night

Traj'miir's Knick-Knacks and Curiosities

• The caravan stops, and as we're setting up camp, an old human man with a door on his back approaches down the road, cheery and chipper
• "do you want to buy my wares??"
• Fritz is wary about strangers but super curious about this door thing, she says sure, he looks very excited and unstraps the door from his back, sets it upright on the ground, and opens it
• Inside is a full-on shop, like a wonder emporium, half-finished inventions, magic potions, a literal horse
• Traj'miir's Knick-Knacks and Curiosities
• Traj'miir: "I'm famous, don'tcha know?"
• F: "no, I have never heard of you before but I feel like I am richer for having known you"
• She asks about the most curious curiosity he's got, he says "oh ho, you don't have the coin for that" but she convinces him to bring it out so she can just see
• "Blood scryer oculus"
• Let you see through anything like fog, magical darkness
• Jalan is disappointed that it won't see through clothes
• F: *disappointed* "Jalan-"
• J: "I meant purses! I want to see the coin"
• Jalan really wants, price is 10,000 gold
• Offers his fancy new armor in trade (Traj'miir laughs, it's armor that makes the wearer overconfident to the point of folly), Jalan continues going through his inventory - Traj'miir notes that one of Jalan's necklaces (the plague maiden one) is very cursed although it doesn't seem to have any useful magical properties
• Fritz brings out the armor we got off Roger, if he won't take it in trade, maybe he'll at least tell us what he knows about it?
• He seems impressed that we either deal with or dealt with (if ya know what I'm saying) one of the Clones, and asks if we know which kind of clone (like concentration, magnitude of removal from the original) and Fritz calls Calypso in to tell the man what he knows
• Simulacrum of Ragnar, pretty boiled down, doesn't remember exact rank, a lot of deformities (like the race change - that only happens pretty far down the line)
• D: "ohh"
• F: "so no alternate timeline where Ragnar had children with Bigs"
• Inheritor Full Plate - latent mind control powers to follow the "leader" (being Ragnar) - and like zealously follow and kill and die for, not just like conform to the law or anything
• Greatsword of the Inheritor: versatile property, 2d6 1 hand, 3d6 2 hand, +3 weapon (doesn't work unless wearing the armor, same curse)
• Traj'miir doesn't personally know how to remove the curse, in fact he's never gotten the chance to study this stuff though he's super intrigued by it
• Curse - if we wanted to put this set on somebody, Traj'miir suggests finding some way to protect their mind, but even that's not a super sure thing, and he suggests having someone strong and someone capable in magic/curse removal nearby to physically hold him down and forcibly remove the armor when every once in awhile the curse takes hold
• Ragnar himself has tried to raid the store on multiple occasions, but Traj'miir has always been able to escape (Fritz is super impressed by this fact)
• Fritz ends up sort of pawning the set off on Traj'miir, since he wants to study it anyway and she's still loathe to give it to Gregory with the curse intact, they agree that he'll study it and that Soular Power will be the first people he contacts if he figures out how to remove the curse, she gives him a Clockwork Toy (from her race, and one of the very first things she ever crafted, an item close to the owner's heart works best) as a scrying focus to help him locate the party once that happens (since his door takes him all over the place, he doesn't stay anywhere for long, and he doesn't choose really where to go)
• Artificer's Goggles (in mint condition would have 5 lenses but 2 are missing)
• See extra far in the darkness (F: "cool")
• See invisible people, as well as discern illusions easier (F: "ooooh")
• See into the Ethereal Plane (F: *gasp*)
• Comes with a light and a magnifier (F: "I'm in love, how much do you want")
• He laughs, suggests a trade instead...perhaps one of the powerful magic items in her possession
• T: "one of the very rare powerful magic items..."
• (D: "give him the gold leg!!")
• T: "...an Artifact, perhaps?"
• F: "......oooooooh boy..."
• (J: "you never let me trade away the Artifacts!"
• (F: "you just want like sex or booze or something. It's not so much for the goggles, this could be a real opportunity to get these things in safer hands and off the Continent!"
• (J: "I don't just want- what about five million gold?"
• (F: "you've never gotten an offer for five million gold"
• (J: "you've never let me get that far into negotiating!"
• (F: "negotiating?? If you even lead with five million gold they'll laugh you out of the room-"
• (J: "you don't know that because you never let me try-"
• Meanwhile, Jalan's getting bored so decides to try to steal something, and successfully pockets some stuff
• Fritz makes it clear she wants to have a private conversation and Traj'miir teleports them both into a bright white room, sparsely but very nicely decorated, there's food and stuff laid out, he says it's a good negotiating chamber that will ensure things don't get violent
• One long conversation later...
• Traj'miir said he sensed the Artifacts on her, he's always been fascinated with them and he's something of a collector, he'd love to collect them but knows how dangerous that is
• Fritz expresses their dilemma, that they're actively trying to collect these things because there's a third party involved who is also trying to collect them, and as dangerous as the Artifacts could be in the right hands, this group has openly malicious intent - she's wary of having a full collection at all, especially on her, but if someone's going to be in possession of a bunch of Artifacts...
• F: "and I'm a really trusting person, to a fault, really-"
• T: *laughs* "really? I can sense you hold extreme mistrust for a certain one in your party-"
• F: "and that was exactly the point I was gonna make next..."
• Fritz then brings up Naomi, and Jalan, and how she's pretty certain Naomi is in cahoots with whatever bad group is trying to get the Artifacts, and that if Jalan knows that Fritz traded an Artifact then he'll tattle to Naomi and Naomi will be in Traj'miir's shop in two seconds flat ready to sell her companions into slavery to get it back...or steal it
• T: "ha! Speaking of stealing, you may want to tell your five-fingered friend to return whatever he's tried to steal from me"
• F: "yeahhh I'm honestly not surprised. He tends to do that. I'd probably pat him down before he leaves if I were you"
• T: "oh no no no! I have cast an enchantment on all of my items, that if it is not removed by me before the item is removed from my shop...it with explode!"
• F: "ha ha oh shiiiit, yeah nevermind don't tell him anything, let him learn a lesson."
• Contracts
• F: "so...I want to trust you, I want to form a sort of partnership where you safeguard these Artifacts, but I need some way to guarantee that they will be safe in your hands...that you won't turn around and sell them to the other side or anything"
• Traj'miir brings up that as a salesman, he sometimes enters into some deals of pretty high importance, and that he and his clients often rely on contracts to ensure that both parties behave themselves "or die of a brain aneurysm or something" if they breach contract, something like the spell Gaes
• He's got some pretty simple contracts, then he's also got the Artifact version that "was initially written between a god and some devils" but which he's cleared and can use for himself now
• T: "I could kill a god if I wanted to! Part of me is curious what would happen if I tried to use it on one of the New Pantheon..."
• She agrees to that, he entrusts her as the owner of the contract (if the owner burns the contract it is rendered null and void)
• Traj'miir brings Fritz back to the shop (exactly when/where they'd left) and loudly announces that it's a done deal, they will trade the Artificer's Goggles for the Bronze Ring
• Contract with Traj'miir
• Back room, enter a metal box that clangs shut and travels extremely quickly, then opens up again into a brightly lit office area
• Writing the Contract: Fritz hands over the Millennium Scales and the Bronze Ring of Unknown Necromancy, Traj'miir hands over the Artificer's Goggles...Traj'miir will keep the Scales in his personal collection, not as a sales piece, until otherwise noted "by the owner of the Artificer Goggles" (a little concerning wording, to be honest)
• And the deal is made...Fritz starts to bring up that "heh...so I actually have two more Artifacts-" but before she can try to make a deal for the safeguarding of those, there's a sharp ding and Traj'miir starts shoving her out of the office, saying "oh no! The portal's about to move! We must get you out of here, shoo now, please see your friend out as well, I don't want him to get carried out with me-"
• Fritz ends up back in the main office, sees Jalan not looking suspicious at all, tells him "we gotta go" and jumps out the door well ahead of him just in case
• During this recent contract-signing, Jalan loots...is able to grab up to 20 items, chooses to be a bit conservative and grab 10 highly magical items
• As he gets closer to the door, the items he looted start vibrating - he casts Detect Magic, is blinded by the quantity of magic present so it's impossible to discern any useful information, tries to toss a thing out the door, it explodes and he takes a shit ton of damage....he tries to Dispel Magic on another item and toss it out...it plinks against a forcefield on the door...and then explodes
• Something invisible picks up the item and places it neatly back on the shelf where it belongs
• J: *petulantly* "I'm just gonna throw everything I stole on the floor.....and then I'm gonna knock a whole bunch of shit off the shelves and then leave-"
• A sword and a shield pull themselves off the wall and menacingly block the door, a spear pokes him in the back and gestures and the stuff on the floor
• J: ".....I'm gonna somersault out the door FUCK YOU-"
• The weapons swipe at him, he fails a con save against some sort of poison or magical effect and is paralyzed
• J: "what the fuck- this is so stupid-"
• D: "you did this to yourself!"
• The spear once more gestures at the stuff on the ground
• J: "....."
• J: "....."
• J: "....."
• J: "I PICK IT UP-"
• As he picks it up, they gently float back to their original positions, and Jalan exits the shop with his face beat to shit
• J: *marches out* "I'm gonna go get my snuggle plushie-"

So It Turns Out Drant Is the Crazy One - More Innocents Die

• Drant meanwhile is in the woods, deep in the woods with Steve and Rosemarie, collecting firewood
• A couple of wolves show up at the edges of Drant's vision, he can see these unlike the last ones
• They start whispering "feed...FEED!"
• The purple direwolf jumps on the back of Rosemarie, Steve starts to run away, pounces on him next, then returns to Rosemarie and its jaw unhinges, opening until it touches its chest, a second tongue comes out of its throat that looks like its made of gross appendages, starts making pulsating movements, like it's sucking the life out of her
• Rosemarie is screaming in pain - then goes limp...the wolf releases her then does the same thing to Steve, starts changing to look like a normal direwolf, then whispers to Drant "thank you...thank you.", disembodied voices of the Deans "where are we? What's going on?", wolf whispers "Now you are one of us. I will have you join us", jaw unhinges, doesn't have sharp teeth but instead luscious lips, kisses him on the forehead, Drant passes out for like two seconds, wakes up and the wolves are gone but bodies are there
• Drant is having a harder time feeling/hearing Nymph but now can assert firm control over her
• Fritz gasps, heartbroken that he's endangering the integrity of his own hive mind by submitting to someone else's
• (D: "you were never a part of one, you don't know how important it is-")
• Drant hides the bodies
• Can now see the direwolf lingering just barely at the edges of his periphery
• Jalan starts stomping around shouting for his manservant, where's his manservant, most of the people in the caravan don't really care because the couple had been making out in the pleasure barge all day and they're just happy they're not here, someone says they went off into the woods for happy alone time

Vincent's Mishap

• Foraging - Vicent's in charge of foraging, and rolls a natural 1...
• F: "he can guidance himself, but...that's an 8"
• DM: "so yeah, he falls down a crevice and breaks his legs"
• F: "OH MY GOD"
• But he's too far away for us to really know this happens, someone eventually realizes that Vincent is gone a little too long, Drant sends Nymph out to find him
• Hear at a very great distance, "he's under attack by wolves, help, help, help!"
• Fritz and Gregory run out, Nymph meets them halfway and leads them to the spot
• Vincent is literally at the bottom of a ravine, with a broken leg, desperately fighting off a small pack of wolves (actually a good number of corpses surrounding him) but he's starting to lose
• Fritz jumps down ravine (gravity cloak engages), stuns a couple with her cloak-landing and kills the rest with her hammer, Gregory finally slides down to join them
• Gregory splints Vincent's leg as best he can, Fritz/Gregory tag team to drag him up the cliff and back to camp
• Alvira sets the bone and does a much better job at splinting it, scolds him, Jalan tries to give him drugs

• Finally, after being interrupted like twice, Fritz approaches Gregory and tells him he's a dumb bitch and that Isabelle is into him

• He's incredulous, but fluffs himself up and goes to talk to her
• He's super adorably awkward, after a bit he relaxes and they seem to really be enjoying each others' company
• Cue collective "awww"
• Downtime
• Fritz starts a game, gambling game with buy-in of a copper, passing drinks around, just having fun, pays Jalan 20 gold to stay out of it after he hears the word "gambling" and gets excited
• Jalan takes drugs ("and I get a +2 to this because of my fancy bracelet!" F: "don't you dare use my baby as a heroin needle-")
• Fritz gives Vincent a shot of lidocaine, he fails his withdrawal save
• Drant takes his lookout duty seriously, crit fails on both a d20 and a d6 for a grand total of 10, goes out to meditate in the woods, when he wakes up he's not sure where he is or how he got there
• Survival check tells him this was the place he was just at with Rosemarie and Steve
• DM: "and you're not sure, maybe it was guilt that brought you here..."
• D: "...nah, definitely not"

Plot type

Session

Parent Plot

Act 4: Untitled