Not here, not now ...

I don't remember much of the time before moving to the Cathedral, I remember meeting Diene years before but not much more.
She tells me stories of how I was an apprentice to a great wizard called, Mohun, and how I was always so eager to use my magic, or how my parents found me the night Diche sent me to this world.
Sometimes I wish I could remember, but her stories are enough, they comfort me. Diene used to be more lighthearted and laugh more, now it seems like she always has something pressing on her mind, I know we both have been tasked by the Goddess, and sometimes I wonder if she too feels the weight of this burden we carry.
 
I sometimes wish I could tell her I do remember my friends, and the promise I made to them, of one day, seeing them again, but I feel she wouldn't understand! I'm afraid of what is to come and the choices I will have to make, yet one thing reassures me of my fate, and that is the light that shines upon me, Diche, ever watchful of my every step, she has willed it so.
 
I never talk to her about it but I do remember the castle, the princess, the king, the chapel, I hold that rosary I took and keep it safe and concealed, it secrets still evade me yet I know one day I will uncover them.
I still remember the great old tome I hide under my bed, written in an ancient language I still don't comprehend, that talks about some ancient prophecy old as time.
 
But what I remember the most vividly, as clear as the sun in the sky, is me hitting the ground, on that fateful day, in the catacombs. I will never forget the moment my eyes closed in resignation of what was to come, yet I don't remember fear or anger, I was at peace, I would be whole once more, as I was to return home, to her, my Goddess.
I could see a clear and beautiful sky, so quiet, so still, the wind blowing all around, warm and tender and a light to the horizon, and I knew it was time to go to it as it would guide me home.
And then I heard her voice, almost like a lullaby, it brings tears to my eyes, the mere thought of her voice, calling out to me, not to welcome me to her but to tell me: "Not here, not now Lucens"
 
We made it out that day, so many didn't, all four of us did, and so we promised to meet once more, as we all went our separate ways. I carry the weight of this memories alone, as they are mine, and only mine to bare, yet sometimes I wish Diene could know, and sometimes, I'm sure she does.
 
She held me all the way, till on the Horizon I could see the boat neared our destination, I didn't know what was to come, I held her hand tight, I trust her and the path ahead of us ...