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Anger
Well I finally had the confrontation with Gorthok I’ve been looking for. We killed it. Kind of. Not really. Sent it back to its plane or whatever so it can be summoned again. It’s so… frustrating. Ever since I saw Mom again and found an actual lead against Talos and her murderers I’ve been so angry. I thought that killing the lightning pig, getting revenge and justice and closure would help but of course I can’t even get that. One more thing Talos has taken away from me.
I know I should listen to Eethyl and focus on the cultists who summoned it. And I will, they need to be killed and Talos needs to be stopped, but it just seems so much more… I don’t know. Abstract? It doesn’t seem like Mom was a target or anything when they summoned the pig. And they will pay for the role they had in her death, I’ll make sure of that, but… I don’t know. I’m just not sure that I will feel the same way after killing the cultists that I was hoping I would once the pig was dead.
And I need to do something to change; I know I’ve been angry and distracted recently. I’ve been acting distant and reckless which isn’t fair to the others. But more than that I’ve just been so… angry. I remember when I killed other orcs for the first time at the shrine that I felt… well not sad exactly because they were murderers and cannibals and assholes, but… like melancholic. I know how hard it is to fight against the rage in our blood and how society would've treated them if they had tried to live a different life. And also… I mean, she said he was dead, but I couldn’t helping looking at each one and wondering if I’d just killed my father. But today I didn’t think any of that. I killed so many orcs and half-orcs without even a second thought. I enjoyed it actually, because they served Talos and fuck him.
This isn’t the kind of person Mom would want me to be. This isn’t the kind of person I want to be. I want to be good. But… I’m just so angry. My mom is dead. And if there isn’t a way to fix everything or make it all okay then… how else am I supposed to keep going?
Continue reading...
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Introductions and Farewells
Marpenoth 29, 1492
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Even More Introductions
Marpenoth 30, 1492
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One Long Series of Awkward Conversations
Uktar 1, 1492
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Uktar 2, 1492 - day
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A Whole Bunch of Combat
Uktar 2, 1492 - night
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A Giant Ancient Underground Ghost City
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 1
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Into the Necropolis
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 2
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A Last Goodbye
Marpenoth 26, 1492
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Answers
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 3
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Homesick
Uktar 4-6, 1492
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An Even Wholer Bunch of Combat
Uktar 6, 1492
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Important Leadershipy Things
Uktar 7, 1492
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A Whole Bunch of Combat 2: Electric Boogaloo
Uktar 8, 1492 - part 1
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Trust and Confusion
Uktar 8, 1492 - part 2
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A Night Alone
Uktar 13, 1492
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Anger
Uktar 17, 1492
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Closure
Uktar 23, 1492
Marpenoth 29, 1492
Marpenoth 30, 1492
Uktar 1, 1492
Uktar 2, 1492 - day
Uktar 2, 1492 - night
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 1
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 2
Marpenoth 26, 1492
Uktar 3, 1492 - part 3
Uktar 4-6, 1492
Uktar 6, 1492
Uktar 7, 1492
Uktar 8, 1492 - part 1
Uktar 8, 1492 - part 2
Uktar 13, 1492
Uktar 17, 1492
Uktar 23, 1492
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