Too much to handle

Where do i even begin?
 
There are so much suff going on i cant even think whitout having an heachache. Maybe if i try to list things i can avoid a stroke or something...so:
 
Bunker. The bunker is basically ready, we are working on the living quarter now and even if the farms are not up yet but all the resource are there. Traps are also good to go, we just need a new escape plan but we dont have time anymore, the festival is here and we must be ready whit what we have. We also agreed that leaving innocent people alone in case of danger is not...rigth, so all of the people are allowed in case of emergency, im not going to let innocent people die, not again.
 
My brother. He is alive and not in virk anymore. And that is kinda my fault too- correlation whit me during the rebellion could have led to some complication for my family but now it seems that everything is fine. He is in Ephy now, i met him after he sent me that letter. Apparently Fuyuko, Moore and Alice said my name in a conversation whit him and got interested...that could have ended poorely- what if someone was looking for me? That was so irresponsible from them...glad everything ended up in a good way.
 
Oh talking about those 3...beside them cleary having something going on between them they also have some MAJOR issue that, somehow, also affected me. I mean, i saw Alice cry more than once...same for Moore. I could not help them? i didnt know how! i was trained to kill people...not to be the emotional support. Kyle was that kind of..oh rigth.
 
Fuyuko, or Phoenix..or Kyle. So much for leaving my past behind, since it just came back...al at once. Turns out that inside Fuyuko there is someone else, and of all of the people in the world of course it had to be my best friend, that if i remember correctly, i killed. At first seemed like a coincidence, all of the things that Fuyuko said during her breakdown (ah yes, she had quite a few) that didnt make sense since she should not have that kind of info. And after a long period of me asking and she being the stubborn girl i always know we managed to discover that YES, she is indeed Kyle...she never told me that Phoenix was her other name.
Oh and just because all of that was not enough while everyone was spread around to recover that idiot wanna guess what happend while i was alone in aremore? A raid. I skit you not, a fucking raid.
 
I...went "red bastion" for a bit there. Those poor bastarts though that since i was alone in the town they whould have an easy loot run. I was outnumbered...by dead bodies. Just when i killed the last one Alice got back and i guess that...seeing me like that was not a good show. We both needed to cool down so we went to my safe room and talked it out. That place really helped...and the cider i shared halped too. I was still in there when-
 
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Going forward...
 
The Alley. As much as NO ONE trust whitch dancer i decided to join the Alley for 2 main reason:
1-Even if he seems questionable, his fear is based on something that is entirely possible. Having somehow of a defence system is helpfull...even if those sheeps is the tower are really noisy and if that keeps going i will have lamp for dinner that day.
2-Ranger is there. I arledy told Dancer that, even if i will try my best to help everyone, Ranger will be my priority.
 
Ah yeah...about Ranger. We are...partners now. It's been a long time coming honestly but...i really didnt expect that to happen. It's probably the only good news in this entry.
 
"Camminavamo senza cercarci ma sapendo che dovevamo incontrarci"...something like that
 
In the next few days the festival will start. I cant sleep well- i spent time in my basement sharpening my knifes, asking myself the same question over and over again. Am i ready? Are we ready?...
 
It is time we "fuck around" because surely we will, eventually, "find out"