Personal Log on 47797.4

Personal log, stardate 47797.4
 
The replicator still isn't fixed.
 
It works, but for a handful of seemingly random orders it just pops out charcoal. It's almost like a cruel joke: I get up from a sleepless night again, force myself to dress and eat. I start working on the endless list of mindless tasks that need completing to get the ship repaired and keep it functional. I forget to eat lunch and end up working until break around 14:00. I'd like to rest, but I can't keep my eyes closed so I keep going down my task list: purge converter matrices, reformat computer cores, realign the power converters... Every second just waiting for clock out. Because at clock out, I can get myself a hot cup of tea and some strawberry ice cream. It's literally the only thought getting me through the Jeffries Tubes sometimes. But then, at the end of the day, I walk up to the replicator and get coal.. Heaping, smoky, ashen piles of coal. It's like a shitty Christmas, except you're hoping Santa will bring you ice cream, not spare scrap metal to recycle. It also doesn't make liquor, just coal. I could really use something to drink.
 
*Long, exhausted sigh*
 
I got to know Ensigns Cruz and Passanisi today. I ran into them just after I clocked out. Without getting too deep into the details on a personal log that can be monitored, they were both having a pretty shit day. Suffice it to say that Crewman Molde is a pig. We ended up doing some light boxing in the holodeck which is unfortunately still a colosseum. Or, maybe that's fortunate. I haven't decided. Cruz ended up getting into some trouble which I disagree with. No justice, honestly.
 
God I hate these logs. Can I tell you something? Because I know Ailyn is going to listen to all the logs she can. Why the fuck aren't these confidential? Like, what, you want us to spill our soul like it's a diary, but then you can use them as evidence? You can't have us share intimate details and then use them against us, that's fucked up. If you had any honor, you'd but out and stop reading.
 
But that's not going to happen because you all think you have a right to go through other people's private things. So here we are. We're in the middle of nowhere. There's no trust. Our ship is broken. We're all probably going to die millions of miles away from home. And the replicator still isn't fixed.
 
I heard Tefin has a bottle of Romulan Whiskey, I wonder if I can get my hands on it...