Airship Thoughts

Raas seems to aprove of the stone slab. And after spending a few nights sleeping on it, it’s realy not bad. It’s been 3 months since my whole world changed. All my dreams of what my life would be are entirely different. Honestly, I haven’t even thought much about the future. My dreams are only of the past.
 
I never thout I would ever be able to even get close to any one again after Tristan died and haven’t even really thought about it. But I find myself drawn to Raas. Maybe it's his skills with the bow. Maybe it's how he towers over me and makes me feel safe. IDK but I didn't realize how much i missed these feelings. However I do not think he is fand of me. He seems so void of emotion so stone faced. I do not think he appreciated my tears soaking his fethers. I greatly apreciate his tolerance of me. I see why he was chosen as comander. I have definitely been sleeping better now that I have him by me each night. I feel so calm next to him.
 
I also learned that he has a daughter!!! I bet he was a great dad. I also can’t believe that they only “mate” once a year. He is missing out on so much by having no deep connection to those around him. He did say “gut feelings are just unchecked emotions.” Those gut feelings have saved Bo and I many times. That gut feeling could have prevented that whole shadow tower. I will show him that my gut feeling is not a liability.
 
We had a new years celebration. It was so nice to have fun with the crew! Almost like the parties we would have a home. I hope it was everything Kaylon dreamed of!
 
I am anxious to get to Kalaman and see if we can figure out more about mom. I thought we were so close. We spent every day together. Sure, we butted heads a lot and she hated my choice in boys. But how could she not tell me something this big. I can’t wait to see her again. I am going to give her the bigest hug and say sorry for all the stupid shit I said. And then I want to cook with her while she tells me all the stuff she hasn’t been telling me including how Dad knew how to shoot a bow what those clothes are about.
 
But now it’s time to find some dragons.