Lost

Oopha, cousin, please don’t share this with my father. I berated my companions today. They all purport to be so careful and precise until it comes to their own brash desires. Rerae, the scarved one, will poke everything with a stick and inspect everything until it something he really desires or is some sort of shiny cloth or material he wants to collect for his hobby. Arc, our Man of Steel, looks to the purpose of everything and acts with logic until it concerned his “master” then acted with all of the recklessness and brashness of a human. I guess it really does mean he has a soul. Barg our enforcer is really only concerned with loot and is steadfast as long as our plans head in that direction. And Rankle, our fairy trickster, while has a purpose to his barbershop shenanigans, places them above the security of our merry band and will act on his impulses above any one’s safety or recommendation. I am still furious at them over the events of Never’s doom. But only as mad as I am at myself for not being able to protect her under my own ability. With out the blessing of the White Stag, we may have lost her to eternity, where her spark would be lighting the heavens currently. I am sure the power was granted to me through the Everburning Light of the Eternal Flame… but what if the Stag itself was the patron and not simply the vehicle of delivery… I have been praying often since the passing and return of Never, and the loss of the Light of Aeshrith. Much more than ever before. I have always felt the spark since donning the cloth, but treated it lightly as I have many things in my life until then. The glory that filled me in that moment was beautiful, and terrible. And very exhausting. Even as I write this I will pray on it. How I long for simpler days when we could dangle our toes in the fountains of home. Maybe they are right to act rashly and rush headlong in to things. And live with verve and fervor. The thoughts in my head are somewhat haunting and confusing but I have seized upon an idea that I may present to Cousin Sephac once we return to New Stone Chimney. If any of them take me seriously that is… but for now I must pray on it… for guidance.