Docked near Necropolis-on-sea

What in all the hells am I supposed to do?
 
I thought Necropolis-on-sea would just try to kill us with ghosts or necromancers or liches, not tear my life apart. Some kind of warning would have been nice. I keep hoping to wake up and find that this was all some strange nightmare I'd dreamt up, but I've tried jabbing myself with my cloakpin and nothing changes.
 
We left the manor after breaking the curse, which I thought would make things a little easier to think through - make it seem more distant, if nothing else. I didn't want anything to do with the place; my first thought after learning that it was my inheritance was that I could burn it to ash and forget about it. It's an empty manor that's been abandoned for years, the curse on it tried to kill me and my friends, and the only connection I have to it is that it belonged to someone who was probably my great-grandfather. But destroying it wouldn't make me forget anything... and at this point, it might be the closest thing I've got to a place to live, even if it's not much of a home.
 
I took as many of the journals that Guadius Algol wrote in the years that he lived in the manor with me when we left. It'll take me a while to get through translating all the Infernal, but I want to do it myself, not have Damiel or Glow and her Comprehend Languages spell do it. The thought of having someone else read them for the sake of a quicker translation makes my stomach twist. The journals feel too personal to share them, which really doesn’t make sense. I didn’t know Guadius, and he’s long dead. There shouldn’t be a problem with someone else reading them. But... I want to keep them to myself.
 
I suppose, despite being his descendant, Algol might not actually be my name, if my mother took my father's surname, but it's all I have to go on now. And despite the nasty curse Guadius put on the manor, he didn't seem like a bad person when we talked to his ghost. I'm going to use Algol, I think. And I know the name of his granddaughter that he thinks was my mother: Velphi.
 
I've hated her, and my father, for years, for a crime they didn't commit. They didn't leave me, the priests killed them. They stole that from me, and - I feel like I was cheated out of knowing them. I want to know them, now, if there's anyone who would remember them well enough to tell me something; what were they like? What was my father's name? How did they meet?
 
Half of me wants to go back to the manor, or to find their graves, if they have one, and ask them directly. But... I spent so long saying that I was glad I didn't know them. Would they hate me in return, for that? Or would I be a disappointment to them? I'm afraid of knowing the answer to that.
 
My family, though... according to Guadius, our family isn't just descended from a demon, like I already knew, but from the demon lord itself. I hate knowing that. I don't want any association with the thing that tried to destroy the world, and now I can't get away from it. And knowing this, at a time when demons are reappearing in the world? The temple didn't teach me much lore about blood magic, but I know enough to know blood has power. Maybe that thing's ancestry is so far distant that it doesn't matter, but the thought that there could be any more importance or connection beyond shared ancestry... it's terrifying. If I know anything, it's that the Incursion, or anything like it, can never be allowed to happen again. And I don't know enough about demons or blood magic or anything that could make sense of whatever's going on with the demons to feel certain that it won't happen.
 
Radiance and Iltiari weren't with us throughout that night in the manor. The others heard everything, know everything... but at least they don't seem to care? They haven't really talked to me about it much yet, and I think I prefer that. Hail's hug was really comforting, but talking about it with her would probably be harder. Glow and Nabith... we're not that close, I think, and Nabith being a paladin makes this complicated. Radiance, too, if she finds out. Nabith at least has been here from the beginning, but Radiance? I have no idea how she'd react and with how devout she is it could be bad. But she might have some more concrete answers about demons than what the priests taught me. Damiel definitely does, with what he's told us so far.
 
He tried to help, in his own confused way, which was... more comforting than it should have been, probably. Asking him for advice would be a different perspective, or at least a less emotional one, but most of what I need help figuring out is emotional. Zsoana, though, or Iltiari... From what we learned about Zsoana and her cultist family, she understands issues with shitty family members. I know less about Iltiari, but they're a fallen aasimar who turned to Cthulhu, so there's got to be some similar issue there with unwanted heritage, even if theirs is divine instead of demonic. I'll talk to them, maybe, after I explain everything,; that said, I'm not following their example and making bargains with eldritch beings, no matter how much they insist it helps.
 
Thinking about Lehvn is... hard. Even though I should hate him knowing what he did, hearing him admit it, my first thoughts of him are still good ones. He raised me. Was it all just to see if they could make a tiefling into a proper gods-worshipping priest, or did he actually care? I can't even figure out where to start untangling that knot of emotions - confusion, hurt, anger? Trying to think through it feels like chasing my tail in circles, and considering unpacking what I feel about the temple and my faith is even worse. If I went back... would the temple still feel like home? Part of me thinks that it wouldn't, with memories of Lehvn everywhere, knowing what he did, but there isn't anywhere else that I belong. I still get homesick remembering my room, or the garden, or that sunny corner hidden away in the archives...
 
All of my plans involved going back home after this was all over and done with and the aegis was found, even if I didn't stay there forever, but now - do I even want to find it? And if not the temple, where would I go, when the group disbands? Just having enough money to get a place somewhere isn't the same as being able to go home.