Personal Journal - The Kiss

After yesterday, I woke up not sure of what the day was to bring. The one thing I knew was that I had to step up and be a leader. We needed to pull together and make a plan. I was not surprised that when I woke up, Tarryn was not there; I could hear him downstairs tending to the wagon. I got up, did my morning stretches and songs, cleaned up a little and made my way down to see him. He seemed in a much better mental state than last night and greeted me warmly, but I could see the guilt all over his face. We talked and I reassured him that the others would understand and that it was not solely his fault that we had a wagon accident. We talked a little about how we were affected and he seems now to realize what a pain it can be for me as an empath. To feel everyone's negative emotions throughout the day and then the accident that triggered even more negative emotions. I wasn't sure how many more days like that that I could keep it together before I had a breakdown. He so very genuinely said for me to let him know what he could do to help.... and I took a chance even though I stand by the logic of how I arrived at it. See, in a large group of people outside of a event, people feel so many different things, so they kind of cancel each other out for me. I can still feel those who are physically close to me or even feel someone I have an emotional connection with better, but it is easier to tune them out. But to have five of us on a less than ten foot long wagon, all whom I have been around for a bit all experiencing slightly different strong negative emotions one after the other and once all at the same time on top of my own uneasiness and fear...... that is a recipe for disaster if prolonged. Therefore, I figure a really powerful positive emotion would help counter it all. Also, I'm very attracted to him, not just physically, but on an emotional and goal oriented level. We certainly have a kinship in regards to our background and upbringing. So, I said that one way he could help me is once a day to take me into his arms and kiss me as if there is no tomorrow, if he wanted to of course. And he did, immediately. No hesitation, no question. It is probably the second time that I have seen him be so confident. I think my heart is in great danger of being stolen, though, lets be honest.... I'll probably just give it to him.