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25th of May, 1883

Why am I like this?

by Maelie Arsenault

Fox sat against a wall and watched the harbor. The small ledge she’d dropped to was hidden and as she relaxed, she let herself take stock. Leonessa’s gang had made things a lot harder the last few nights. She had bruises and cuts from the recent engagements that she should get seen by Igor but… at least it was something she could feel.
 

I walked the halls where you knew my name
I lit a match, don't look back, and i walked away
I hit the gas and i ran away
Jesse james, up in flames, reputation changed
I broke the rules to every game i played
I turned up, I drew blood
And then i licked the blade
Rear-view, watch the city fade
Head down, roll high, no time to pray

 
Bella’s coming out ball had been a beautiful evening, but difficult with Victor there. Especially while trying to keep a smile on for the young debonaire who shined, surrounded by people who cared for her. She might not envy Bella’s situation with family and her own relationship difficulties, but she couldn’t help wondering what her life would be like if she could simply see the best in people and… let that be enough.
 
Now i'm running through
Another full moon
Grab the money and thе keys to the motel room
I'm a dead girl, walking through the truth
I wasn't living 'till i was an outlaw
Now, i dream big in a small town
And i fired all the shots in my last showdown
I'll be long gone
Before the dawn
I wasn't living 'till i was an outlaw

 
The pain in her heart had dulled since the ball. Her focus on the nightly engagements keeps her busy. Plotting out schemes for the heist she’d been roped into by her Syndicate colleagues. And her own constant reassessments of how to approach life in society and the underworld. It kept her mind occupied and she was spending more and more time in her office instead of the parlor or garden with Sareena. But her fiancé seemed to have acquiesced to give her space… ‘let it sort’ as she said.
 
The rogue now looked forward to the nightly engagements. The slash of a dagger, the aim of her gun, slipping into the shadows and hopping from roof to roof while her heart pounded in her ears. She could have been smarter. She could have set more traps. But now… she wondered if some part of her didn’t want this to end?
 
In the night light, my eyes shine like fool's gold
I got a past, dressed in black
Left a trail of smoke
Motel, i'm hidin' in room 82
You turn the TV on,
Man, have you heard the news?
She's on the loose, passing through
And she's draggin' a noose
It's nothing new
Just the girl that you thought you knew
Cold-blooded, red-handed, got nothing to lose
Outa time, walkin' the line of a burnin' fuse

 
She needed it. She needed these nights that presented a challenge and left her in control of herself with no care for the others around her. No moral quandaries about her profession or association. No friends telling her that ‘everything will be fine’ while having no real idea what ‘fine’ even looked like for her. No masked face with white lenses staring back at her and ‘hrm’ing’ an indignant response. No Victor surrounding himself in shadows and pulling back from her. No, not even any Sareena to hold her and let her rest her head.
 
Now i'm running through
Another full moon
Grab the money and the keys to the motel room
I'm a dead girl, walking through the truth
I wasn't living 'till i was an outlaw
Now, i dream big in a small town
And i fired all the shots in my last showdown
I'll be long gone
Before the dawn
I wasn't living 'till i was an outlaw

 
These nights were just Fox and the Game. The Challenge. La Leonessa and her cronies, here to kill her and anyone she cared for.
 
For this, she moved her hands.
She focused her senses.
She schemed with her mind.
 
Her heart could be happy or sad later.

Continue reading...

  1. The Last Rule
    November 27th, 1882, - Novandria
  2. The Den
  3. Am I losing?
  4. A Close Call
  5. Plans
  6. New Toys
  7. Mistakes were made
  8. Too close to home
  9. Not like you.
  10. This City is Mine.
    February 6th, 1883
  11. Aimless?
    March 5, 1883 - Novandria
  12. The Game Begins
    February 13th, 1883
  13. Too much like You
    March 13, 1883
  14. Safer in Shadows
    April 3, 1883
  15. New Beginnings
    April 7th, 1883
  16. Ready to Run
    April 17th, 1883
  17. Home
    April 25, 1883
  18. Can you steal a heart?
    May 8th, 1883
  19. Trouble
    11th of May, 1883
  20. Heartbreak
    14th of May, 1883
  21. Hunter or Prey?
    16th of May, 1883
  22. Guilt
    19th of May, 1883
  23. Untrustworthy
    21st of May, 1883
  24. Why am I like this?
    25th of May, 1883
  25. Worthy
    8th of June, 1883
  26. The One She Left Behind
    13th June, 1883
  27. Annnd it's back...
    July 1st, 1883
  28. Learning to Fly
    July 4th, 1883
  29. Thrill of the Hunt
    July 29th, 1883
  30. From the Embers
    21st of August, 1883 // 1867
  31. Mother Knows Best
    16th of September, 1883
  32. A Snake, a Star, and a Fox
    25th of September, 1883, Novandria
  33. It wasn't him.
    28th of September, 1883, Novandria
  34. The New Blade
    13th of September, 1883
  35. Something Good
    October 31, 1883 - Novandria
  36. The wound that won't close
    18th of December, 1883 - Novandria
  37. Promise
    25th of December, 1883 - Novandria
  38. Fallen through the cracks
    6th of January, 1884 - Novandria
  39. Day to Night
    7th of January, 1884
  40. What's Left to the Shadows
    22nd of January, 1884, Novandria
  41. The World without Colour
    18th of February, 1884, Bellancourt, Montaigne,
  42. Seventeen Roofs
    26th of February, Novandria, Eisen
  43. Crossing the Board
    4th of March, 1884, Novandria, Eisen
  44. New Freedom
    May 4th, 1884
  45. Saved
    5th of May, 1884/16th of July, 1858

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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.042 © 2017-2024 [en] | Anvil Time: 01:15, Nov 15 2024