“Stay?”
"Stay for a bit?"
"Are...are you leaving?"
It was the real question she was asking all along. She had panicked Cardinal with talk of houses by accident, but it had drawn out her real fears. Would she leave? On a whim? When something better presents itself? Fox had disposed of dozens of names, disappeared, and moved on… so she had a very hard time convincing herself that Maelie Arsenault would stay.
Did she love them? Yes. Absolutely yes. All three for each their own beauty and sorrow that she saw in their eyes. But old habits die hard and the packed bag under her bed, the boots next to the chest, the dagger behind the headboard, and the many times her lovers’ soft movements stirred her alertness made every reassurance feel empty.
Wake up, any threats?
Clothes, boots, weapons, cloak.
Backpack has rations, water, clothes, spare lockpicks, and an updated train schedule.
Exit; window or door.
Throw off pursuit in Central Ward.
Make it to station leaving only a long enough window to purchase ticket and board train.
On her own she had practiced the routes and it would take no more than forty minutes to be leaving Novandria. And every time she reflexively ran through the plan each step was now painful.
Before now, she had never noticed. Her Aunt and Uncle had always accompanied her, the plan had worked in Montaigne when they left the Painted Highlands. Then again in Vodacce. Things go wrong, better to lose a heist; equipment, money, or treasure, none of it was as important as your life or freedom. That’s why when the con on the Duke of Rosende had gone bad she had followed the plan. Escape the ball, hit the hidden packs in the woods, change clothes and head for the docks. Short journey across the channel to Avalon. It had worked for her.
But now… now she noticed. It worked for her because it was for her. Kallie and Mika had gotten killed, they had diverted attention, given her time, struggled to their last breath. That’s what she saw over her shoulder as Kallie let loose paralyzing magics and Mika interfered with every step her pursuers took. She’d been helped, protected, coddled, … spoiled. The plan had worked for her and not them because it was never meant for them.
That was when she'd lost her colours again. She didn’t understand why her vision did this, why it slipped into darkvision after her mother’s abuse or when she’d lost her aunt and uncle. She didn’t really care either, she just wanted her family, so it had surprised her when she had entered the Skybound Inn, her first day in Novandria, and the room had lit up at the sound of violin music. Maybe it was love at first sight, maybe it was something else. At this point, it really didn’t matter to her.
Before sleep, she pulled the bag out from under her bed. Gripping the straps like it was a lifesaving device on the open seas, she took a moment before opening it up. She unpacked it, inventoried the contents, and then she put the clothes in her dresser. The waterskin and rations went in her chest for adventuring gear. She moved her boots and cloak to the front entrance. The lockpicks she tucked into a drawer.
Finally, she stood with the train schedule in hand, every instinct telling her to keep it, repack the bag, escape routes and contingencies keep your freedom. It felt as if her aunt and uncle were staring at her. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she held the paper over a candle and set it aflame, letting it burn up before dropping it into the hearth.
“My home is where they are and I won’t give it up this time. I’ll just have to make a new plan.”