Holding the Shield, Only

Dearest Jen,
 
[Relays the Race to Raman].
 
And the worse part? I was useless against the Bobcat. I'm now better with the sword, yet I still failed to help... my training was for naught. It's not only that, it's the fact that my being involved made it worse. Caerbhall was telling me to back off because of some queer way in which the Bobcat reacts to him when alone. Understand, I'm not looking to slice Caerbhall's glory. I just wanted to help, to try and inspire him. To prove I have the mettle to be King. But I couldn't do anything and the artefacts failed against him. And now we're on our way to collect a ring? A ring! We should be moving for Rhoiden as quickly as possible, and then the armour. And then I can put Caer in them because a 'king' who cannot even trade blows with the servant has little hope against the Master.
 
And this is it, I'm beginning to feel more like an object than ever before. I did as a cub, being chased into doing what I must, and as an adult I'm just a pawn for those around me, a key for some artefacts. Without them what am I? Just a lion with a special sprinkle of magic that lets me heal parchment cuts and sense when my companions are miserable, and depressed. Never fear, I can sense their looks well enough without it. Ardon and Palatine should have gone to someone who deserved it.
 
Strange I know, look at my previous achievements but those were never more than quick wits and a helping of luck. And now we can see what happens when my luck starts to run out and it turns out the most helpful thing I can do is throw my oversized body into the path of the enemy. Even that was foolish. I almost gave myself up to the Otherking, my arrogance allowing me to assume I knew runes and their limitations.
 
And I still have to inspire Takuma and Caer. With what? My ability to hold a shield which has won me all my battles. I was too afraid to risk my magic, I could have tried to glamour the cart, make it invisible. But I was worried I would lose my magic. My last link to Magden. Pathetic, someone like that doesn't deserve to be King and they surely will not inspire any companion. I suppose I have to do this, the cruel joke that Fate would appoint a lucky lion over those with geniune talent. Takuma with his magic, for all his grumbling I knew he's advancing more quickly than I am and increasing his potential as he does so, and a swordsman that keeps shattering his barriers. One of them should hold the artefacts, of pieces of them. But they were given to the lion who trying to be everything at once, because I have to, but I struggle, Jen. I find it difficult to live up to what I have to do. I can't do this! I can't be everything and I'm failing because of that. I'm not the warrior, of the wyrdian. I'm the figurehead, the package Takuma and Caerbhall have to ferry with them. Think, when I get referred to it's as 'the future King'. That's a title. not an achievement. It's luck, it's a thing from my father. Everything that is special about me has been handed down, whether that's a title of a magic cloak. And now I can see why Palatine hates me, why he rejects me as King. Leondric united a realm and defeated the Otherking; Martin can stumble his way from one success to another. Small wonder that Palatine can see the truth, the luck, the... why would you chose to drape yourself across the shoulders of a tool. What does that make you?
 
For one of my birthdays, Magden managed to conjure an entire illusion for my birthday. I got to spend an entire day pertending to be a knight, slaying a dragon (my father glamoured by Magden) ending with me carried across town to my 'victory dinner'; in truth a lovely spread my mother had spent the day over. I miss them. And this birthday I get to be carried away, wounded, beaten, a battered pole of wood holding gold. Happy birthday to me.
 
I am sorry, Jen. Each of these messages must be horrible to read. We're alive though, and making our way to Raman and the King's Seal. For whatever good that will do.
 
With love,
 
Martin