Today I met Shin-Li again. She was as beautiful as ever and I still felt what I thought was a spark. And things were going well, to begin with. But then I began discussing my family, and Rabbittown and I could see her losing interest. I don't blame her, it's not always the most interesting topic but at the same time she was rather brusque in her opinions about them. She was even unexcited about their major victory at Daybringe! I admit, I was torn and upset. I feel as if I created a picture that was ripped sharply from my hands. a mistake I know, Magden tried to tell me but I was stubborn. I suppose this entire thing is one big learning curve.
I was terribly rude to her however, unbecoming of what I may be. I shall apologise to her tomorrow. It still feels strange to be called out by those around me as some great hero. Ardon did all the work; I won't deny I fought well but I will contest that it was my victory. I don't feel as if was me at all on that battlefield. I don't like who I became, or who I am becoming, especially when I talk to the Shogun. Something about her allows me to speak freely, but that's not exactly a good thing.