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Memories in Rain
She returned to her room, cold, wet. Perhaps Veronika had the right of it after all--walking was overrated. Could she have avoided it? Stayed away from the rain? Stayed away from others. The dark isolation of her room felt comfortable...safe. She looked around, slowly pulling off her wet garments. Safe, but lonely. She glanced at Dolly sitting on her shelf. She shivered, the memory now no longer brought by the rain, simply her own mind replaying it in her head. She remembered vaguely the feeling of Miss Arsenault speaking to her in the rain memory--the fear, knowing she wasn't real and the comfort realizing that she wasn't. Peg mused that perhaps she should have shared more with the woman after the memories had faded. She had been kind and seemed genuinely concerned. But, how could she say more? The burdens were not new. The memories old, the pain hers to carry, to hold, to keep silent.
She scooped her wet clothes to the side, standing a moment naked and cold in the dark before slipping on a dry sleeping gown. Her mother's voice echoed in her head from the early memory "you must do better, Margarete." "You are a lady, Margarete." She did not always like her duty, but she understood it and accepted that her privilege came with certain responsibilities. But the others whose memories she had seen, they did not share her station. Why should they have to carry such pain as they did? She worried for them and longed to help. Yet was she not part of the problem? Her head pounded and she sat on the edge of her bed, pressing her fingers to her forehead.
Always trying so hard to be what you are not. Perhaps it was the rain that made the voice seem louder tonight. Let go.
She looked around the dark of the room. Lonely, perhaps, but maybe that was the only way for 'safe' to also be.
Continue reading...
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Who Doesn't Like a Good Soiree?
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Peg's Playlist
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Memories in Rain
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Consequences
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Mother Knows Best
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Always Too Much
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The Early Days
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The Akmon Appreciation Society
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Who Are You Fooling?
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Pretending
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Grim Things
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Childish Make-Believe
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Failure
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Afraid to Die
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Loved Until
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To Trust Yourself
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A Normal Life
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Roses and Thorns
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Through a Glass Darkly, Part One
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A Little Better?
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The Younger Orlov Daughter
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Choices and Actions
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Through a Glass Darkly, Part Two
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Roses and Thorns Revisited
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Adventures in Avalon
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Home
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Eyes
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Of Bravery and Cowardice
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Heroes and Villians
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Scars and Gaping Wounds
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