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17th of Apreri, 128 F.E.

Reconciliation

by Priestess Robin Weiss

The end is within sight. Thanks to everyone’s efforts, we have all successfully met yet another deadline. If we continue at this pace, we are likely to complete the translation of the manuscripts well before the end of Mavius. Now that the others have accepted me -- reluctant as that acceptance may be -- we are progressing at unprecedented speed. Not only that, but our translations are perfectly consistent. Now that I have the opportunity to read the other portions, it is much easier to make sense of the texts, as esoteric as the original manuscripts may be. The bigger picture is becoming more clear.
 
Even as the others have come to accept me, I feel as though I am merely tolerated. Though Ulrich has no doubt vouched for my character, it is clear that it will take time for them to overcome their initial prejudices towards me. I must remind myself that we must all work towards mutual understanding, if not in the pursuit of stronger bonds, then at least in the pursuit of efficiency. If we maintain a polite union solely for the sake of progress, then so be it. I have done my part not to exacerbate any misgivings the collective might have for me, when possible. I have also informed Ulrich that I will not change myself to gain their acceptance, however, and Ulrich seems to respect my position.
 
I am unaccustomed to the ways in which the other acolytes engage in acts of merriment. I tend to excuse myself from active participation in these collective activities. For the most part, it would seem that this does not offend the others, though I think that it disappoints Ulrich. I have explained to him that I feel as though my participation would only hinder everyone’s fun, but I have decided that I shall entertain Ulrich by at least observing in their games and conversations. He has expressed to me that participation may help the others to warm up to me, but he is happy that I have chosen at least not to leave.
 
I still remain uncomfortable with the others, and cannot face them without Ulrich beside me. Even as we gather together for work, I stay close to Ulrich, as though he might shield me from their contempt. I realize that these fears are irrational. However, we shall only need to endure one another for a few more weeks. I do not foresee myself making any lasting bonds with any of them aside from Ulrich, so it seems a waste to exert energy in forcing them to like me more than necessary. All that matters is that Bishop De Borel continues to praise our work, and we continue to march toward completion ahead of schedule.

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  19. Progress
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