this sucks so fucking much

Everything smells like ammonia. It smells like- no WORSE- than Bell's stupid little cat specifically his PISS. IT SMELLS. LIKE CAT PISS. BECAUSE OF THAT DISGUSTING SCOURGE.
 
A scourge aasimar is just a protector aasimar with acid reflux. And protector aasimars are idiotic weak-willed CHILDREN who do not have the mental fortitude to release themselves from their sham gods and devas and pursue a path that they forge for THEMSELVES for GREATER PURPOSE than whatever their SELFISH LYING USELESS NARCISSISTIC INFERIOR MASTERS COULD EVER CONJURE UP FOR THEIR PATHETIC SELVES!!! STUPID STUPID STUPID PROTECTORS AND DISGUSTING ARROGANT SCOURGE!!!! STUPID STUPID STUPID DISGUSTING ARROGANT STUPID SELFISH LYING STUPID [illegible words, and places where a pen stabbed through the paper, and much crinkling and tearing]
 
 
She smells like cat piss. Maybe I should make her smell like cat piss to everyone ELSE so that they will understand what they are dealing with and be wary. As if they could not have noticed the way that awful woman addressed me- as an it. An IT. It is one thing that not even Damiel can bother to address me correctly most of the time, and now there is another whose sole purpose seems to be to disrespect me. It is just the same as it has ever been, before He took me into his arms- er... tentacles. I was never seen as myself; just an extension of whoever had control over me. And still, even after releasing myself from my deva's grasp and escaping my selfish, useless kin, is it not the same? Is this to always be what I find in this world- to be misgendered, disrespected, always 'othered'? I wish He would explain why, WHY I am here. I wish He would take me away from here, sometimes...
 
Oh, yes. We killed the mage. Rimaia did. Good for her. So he is out of the way, and that is one step further to the final goal of uh, saving, the world...? If there is no world, or if the world becomes overrun with demons, Cthulhu cannot easily manipulate it to his will, SO.
 
The scourge seems to be after the same person as us, but if she thinks she will interrupt our methods- MY method, of casting every enemy into an endless black void- then she is mistaken. She did not seem to want me to kill Tazra but I will if given the chance. I do not have the patience for sparing lives I know do not deserve to be spared.
 
That motherfucker killed my Baby. It is okay, I can do the ritual again. And he will be Snombay again... so small... so squishy and cold.... lovely.