Apparently, it is not yet my time. But today has been a sharp reminder that my destiny lies in the hands of the Raven Queen and when my time has come, she will be there collect my soul.
After Ellywick's and my talk, the rest of the night went rather smoothly. The biggest scare was a snake at the outskirts of the camp, something that, in hindsight, I should have paid more attention to. The next day we encountered a surprising side-road leading into the Mere. While a chance to lay the lost souls in there to rest is tempting, it would also likely be a deadly endeavour for all of us, so we kept to the high road. Where we, blocked by a fallen tree, were ambushed.
Our assailants must have delved into my mind, as they created an illusion of Ellywick dead on the road. When I, in horror and panic, ran up to "her", I was hit with a psychic backlash that felt like it would rip me apart. When I saw the snake-people (Yuan-Ti, Ellywick later explained) I could focus on nothing but the image of loved one with her throat slit, and my rage at them for making me feel that way. The problem? When I attacked, I was standing at the very front of our group and soon found myself surrounded by the yuan-ti and their swords, teeth and claws seemed to come from every direction.
I spent most of the combat unconscious. I think. There was too much pain to keep track, but at least I kept our tiefling boy from dying. During some ultimately failed mid-combat negotiations, Ellywick woke me up with some magic. The next time was... worse. I could see her. The Raven Queen. I'm not sure how close I was to die before Rupert managed to get some potion of healing into my throat, but I felt the cold darkness and feathers around me. I'm convinced that the only reason that potion did anything but just spill over my dead lips is that my Queen decided that I still have a purpose.
I've saved Ellywick from the very edge twice. I think I came closer than that. I should probably be scared, but I feel comforted. Death has meaning because it gives life meaning. The fact that I'm not dead means that there is more to my story and my Queen believes I can fulfil that.
Ellywick... I know this might be awkward... But I could really use some comfort tonight. Just a hug. Or something. Just let me know that I'm alive.