Confused, and shamed

Ryancy, are travel has been hard, the barrow fen swamp is difficult, holes filled with swamp water are everywhere, you must be careful if you follow are trail. The Gnome clan Rowin has issue with the terrain as well as Isaac, neither can swim! I put rowin in my backpack and have pulled Isaac out of one of the holes, though i fell in a few holes aswell, i hurt rowin by accident, sometimes i think my ideas are not the best. I hope the only danger is the holes, as this land is tiring to travel and i grow tired after each day, my party is strong but i must keep going, the people of drafalls need me. The barrow fen is 3 days away ill be there soon i hope were in time.
 
Ryancy, I have succeeded, My party and i have tracked the Followers of cyric to the Barrow fen, and discovered orcs at the mouth of one of the caves, They fell to us in a quick time, i used my frost to freeze two of them solid! and my party acted without mercy, though i am troubled as i fell to one of there blades, i must become stronger as these filth shall not stop us on are quest. The young slinger has proven a mighty warrior, though hesitant he has skill with hes weapons, Isaac has become a mighty ally, weaving hes magic like the wizards do, though Lilyanna does not trust me as much as i thought, she has the skill to change into beasts, and we mistakenly saw her as a foe, i hope she begins to trust us more with time, i told her what you told me when i was on the sea, trust is what makes a soldier different than these filth we face.
 
I have interrogated one of the orcs, He claims there is women and children inside the cave and only 12 orcs stand between us and are goal, though he said the men have been taken east from barrow fen, why i do not know, we go into the cave to finish this, i was picked up by lilyanna and slinger seems dedicated to rescue the people inside, i feel bad and tired but i get strength from my companions to continue, we shall see it done by bahamuts will. The cave is pitch black, i cannot see how can i fight? Some of my companions can see, rowin, lilyanna, and isaac. Isaac has put on a disguise to fool the orcs, it should work he looks like one of them! If we fight i hope there is light.
 
The orcs were no match for us, though isaac fell to one of there blades, i used my gods power to bring him back, and we ready are selves for there warchief and hes filth. I fell again to the warchiefs blade, but my friends revived me with some potions we found, i cant keep falling they depend on me. Rowin has proven to be a mighty warrior for hes size, he has the heart of a dragon, and has no fear he stands by me like hes 3 times his size! we should recruit more gnome clan they are a noble people. With the warchief dead we discovered something, there are undead here, i smell there scent through my gods gift, we must be careful, and i am desperate, i feel tired and i cant go on much longer, i hope there are no more enemies, and i hope the undead arent the people we need to save.
 
Retreat, we had to retreat, two large filth stood in are way and i was too weak to kill them, and protect my friends, they fell isaac and with undead walking around the cave, i tried to bury them in the cave, but i was too weak, they convinced me to retreat and leave the people behind, i feel shame as im the only one who could carry out isaac as he was alive but asleep. Sleep, cant keep going the party said well go back, i hope we do. I dont remember much, i remember fresh air then a rocky place then darkness.
 
I was asleep, slinger woke me up and said something was coming from the north west, not from the cave, i readied myself i cannot fall again i feel better but i hurt, i hope i can still fight. A dwarf, with odd symbols on hes shield, he does not answer questions and talks like the pirates do when they ambushed us, one talks the others attack. This Clan dwarf does not listen, he is lucky, we were attacked by undead from the cave, if it was other dwarfs i would have killed him. He does not listen, i told him to stay and he came from are rear, as we fell the undead he approached, i told my party to kill him, hes a threat. He healed Lilyanna but my party trusts this dwarf and not me, They told me im a dummy. I guess they have lost faith in me since i fell, i thought they were my friends, we are nothing without trust, and if they dont trust me how can i protect them?
 
Clan dwarf Kuldak talks in riddles, he speaks of authority and tells me i am nothing, and my friends believe him. Why would bahamut give me gifts if i was nothing? i am confused, what do i do ryancy?
 
We are joined by the dwarf, and isaac has given me news, someone is spying on us, i hope to find this rat but im not sure what happens now, they are smart they'll find a way. We entered the cave with the dwarf, he wields holy power like i, which is good, my party trusts him and not me, and he is a skilled warrior he is a good ally against the undead, they cannot stop us from are goal. We found them! within a grate in a cell! We felled the undead with little challenge they could not stand to are might, and i have taken the people under my charge, we camp for the night then head in the morning to faibyr, to prove to this king are noble goal, and the warchiefs head i have taken, This will prove ourselves and make him respect us.
 
I have taken a long patrol route tonight, and will continue to do so, my party know longer trusts me, and i must stay away, they now have a new protector, he is noble and strong, i can think on what to do, what would nandu do if nobody trusted her? i must think on this, but i grow angry. Laughter, i heard odd laughter from the camp, i ran to find 2 tieflings in camp, and many of are party asleep. Too strong, they felled me with foul black energy it burns and i feel so bad, i was felled by them, darkness. I awoke to the party standing over me, and are cleric bearing the same marks as i, i was right he is a protector, a good addition.
 
Personal journal:
 
The party know longer trusts me, all i wish to do is protect them and they trust so easily, with a spy and now we must find the other villagers, this dwarf clan would be helpful, but i feel hesitation, but my friends do not. Ill trust there thoughts on the dwarf, but they know longer trust me, i must become stronger so they trust me again, until then theyll be protected by the kuldak, i must train alone to become stronger, maybe then theyll trust me again. I am glad we survived, i get to see sila again and have are meal together, ill spend time with her before we go, and leave my companions to there things. Ill scout the way forward, and prepare for the next part of a quest, i must become stronger to beat these tiefling witches, they will gaze upon my might and fear me. Ill take my oath, and become stronger in my gods embrace.