Entry 2, The Fae Manor

When I was a girl, I was friends with Lindsey. We'd both been ice skating since we were seven or so and had grown up together in the figure skating circles. We met up outside of ice skating several times a year, would go to each other's birthday parties, and she even came on a week long camping trip with me and my moms two summers in a row. We got along great. But when we were thirteen or so, another nearby figure skating school closed down and several of the kids that were in that one merged with ours. They were less dedicated generally and made mistakes that all the kids from my school had gotten past years ago. Lindsey was mean to them. She was snarky, insulting, all that mean girl bitch stuff. It took me a while to realize, but I was friends with someone that I no longer liked. I didn't do anything dramatic to break it off or anything, we just started to (maybe) naturally grow apart once we got into high school and my interests drifted while she stayed on the Olympic track.
 
But that's kind of how I'm feeling with Jo right now. We're friends, but I'm starting to fear that I no longer like her a lot of the time.
 
This place changes people, I guess. Obviously physically. I have fur and hooves and antlers and all that. But ... mentally too? I can't say I knew Scotty super well back on Earth, but these days he seems more and more like the killer soldier that we used to joke about. Jo is the worst though. She'd always been kind and considerate, but more and more she's seeming like ... let's be honest ... a psychopath. Her solution to every interpersonal problem starts to become intimidation and threats. And now she's killing people who surrender without even the hint of emotion.
 
That last part is what gets me. During that fight, I really felt like I could understand the way everyone else was thinking, knowing what they planned to do, but also understanding their state of mind. States of mind? Some sort of empathy maybe, I'm not sure. More likely all that communication training that Scott is always doing. But from Jo, when we were fighting, I felt nothing from her. She wasn't angry, or thoughtful, vengeful for the abused children. Just nothing. It was all cold calculus. And that, to me, is chilling.
 
I've consumed a lot of media growing up to the woman I am today, and one constant in a lot of it was that people who kill without any feelings about it are ... bad. I don't want to think of Jo as being bad or ... evil or whatever. But it's hard not to see that now. It's like her evil bird has been consuming her personality. Give your hatred a voice (figuratively) and a body, and all of a sudden it becomes more prevalent?
 
I don't know if I can condone this. I hoped I made it clear that I didn't. But it doesn't seem like Jo is going to change, and Scott just enables her. Carter definitely seems on my side, and he says the stuff that I can't put into words. I feel Avery would probably agree with me. But I just ... don't know about the future we have. I thought we were going to be together through all this, but ...
 
I still feel like I'm the same person I was. Even with deer bits. I like my deer bits. And part of being the person that I was means that I'm not going to stand by people who are bad. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not going to let this continue. If we're going to be the villains from every anime and story that I've ever seen or read, I won't be a part of it.