Five Years in a Void

First Hour
Is this some kind of joke? Cause I'm not laughing. This isn't funny, Seosh. What the fuck? You said I was the ~chosen one~, and I'm on this ~great~ mission. Then why the fuck am I here and not out there? Why does everything have to be some kind of test - I'm not a child anymore. Or is this some kind of punishment? Wait... Does he not want me to interfere with what Miirik is doing? Bullshit, all of this is bullshit. I can't even hear myself get mad. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELLO? I can't even feel my nails dig into my palm, or the energy of anything. Does this stupid wand even work? Okay it does.
 
I'm bored. Seosh are you there?
 
The Next Hour
I need to think... Maybe the book got booby trapped the same way those cards did. Well shit - did I fall for all of that twice in one day? No way the Jester or Miirik get to laugh this off. I'm not some toy you can store away. They really couldn't face me head on, huh? That's pathetic HAHAHAHAHA. Just wait til I get out of here, old man. You'll regret ever meeting me - you too Jester. Stupid clown.
 
I'll see you soon. I just need to find the walls of this place and break out. Wait - why can't I summon Oona or Noir? This is so strange.
 
Hours Pass
How long has it been? I wonder how the others are doing, I really miss them. Athalor's mind blank spell would have worn off by now, I hope they got back to the academy. Wish I could have seen the look on that stupid old man's face when he died. I hope they made sure to throw his body in the annihilation sphere, give him the Boreas send off. I really wanted to be there - but I trust they got the job done.
 
Or maybe they didn't?
 
Nah... I can't think about that right now, I need to stay focused. That would explain why it's taking them so long to get me out of here. If they even know where I am... Perhaps with Rednop missing they're having troubles locating me. For once, I'm worried this divination shroud is working against me. I know Master Elnao will find me, surely she knows where I am...
 
End of Night
Oh god I just want to know what happened to them. I miss them so much. I never go to thank Arianna for being by my side when we rescued my mom. I just want to hug her. In a way I'm glad she stayed behind when we went to the Silent City. I wouldn't forgive myself if she got hurt. I'm sure Athalor and Mason are doing okay, at least I hope.
Did Athalor and the Sage make it back? I hope he's okay. I don't want to see his Uncle win, who knows what he's planning. He hasn't made contact with me since the Codex Tournament. I've got bigger fish to fry, Mr. An'Andarud. I thought killing Athalor would remedy the situation but now that I have time to think, what if that would just give full control of the body? How could I ever think about killing Athalor... He's my best friend... On my way to saving everyone from infernals, I forgot about taking care of those I love. I wish I could talk to him, this is not how I wanted to leave things off. I need to tell him how I really feel. Maybe the night at the gala hurt me deeper than I thought - I don't think he would understand.
 
I didn't want to leave Alyx in Ioth's office with the way things were either. I've had multiple chances to learn from my mistakes and I still chose to kill him. I just didn't want to see the Serpent win. Alyx... He's just like me... He's making mistakes and just needs someone to take his hand and pull him back to reality. Instead, I pushed him further into the Serpent's clutches. I'm so sorry Alyx, I will never be worthy of your forgiveness. I should have stayed, I should have stopped you from meddling with the book, I should have been there for you. You were - you are worthy of saving. Is it too late? Are you too far gone?
 
I just can't see Mason the same way as you. I'm scared he'll rip my heart apart just like you did. But if he chooses to protect Athalor and Arianna, then that's more than you ever did. I hope Mason is okay - I mean I'm sure he is he's a freakin' dragon. Haha - Sventisko will hate me if I drag her boyfriend into our mess and accidentally get him hurt. Why am I so stuck on Alyx if Mason has been the far better friend?
 
Okay, okay - I need to stop thinking about sad stuff. I'm in a fucking void - I should be gossiping and thinking about cute boys right now. Normal teenager stuff... Hmm let's see.
 
Oh Cyrus~ and his gorgeous green eyes. I'm glad he got more comfortable with me as time went on. As much as the whole "princess" treatment was cute, I just wanted him to be himself. Ohh~ the way he held my arm when walking me back to my room. Man - I wish he went in for a kiss. Or maybe he was waiting for the opportunity at our dinner date! Shoot... I'm definitely going to be late for that... Is kissing on the first- second (?) date too soon? Probably. Well Athalor kissed Arianna for no reason so why can't I kiss cute boys for no reason? Ahh right, the "distraction". I need a distraction right now...
 
Pevomm sure did grow up too. He named his freakin' sword after me! So romantic... We never got to talk about this whole arranged marriage thing. Haha - the runaway bride, that would make a great book. I'm sure marriage is beyond him right now. The knight armor fits him so well... A-and obviously he moved on too, right? I don't know. But the way he was looking at me... I guess I do look pretty different. Can't wait to tell him about all of this when I get out.
 
Am I getting out?
 
Master Elnao where the hell are you? Too busy for me as usual ... Well hurry it up. She's so irresponsible - leaving me this book without checking it for traps and having the Book of Dawn stolen from under her nose. No way she gets Headmistress now. I told her to change that damn entrance password. No way she left me here on purpose right? She always warned me that I "wasn't ready" for this - well I am. Seosh, Miirik, Master Elnao, the Sage... who doesn't underestimate me at this point? I'll show them. They'll appear here any second now and I'm going to be as cool as a cucumber. I'll show you all...
 
The Next Day
I am one with the void. I'm impressed with myself - I've kept my heart rate at basal levels, I've explored a good portion of this area. Not sure how much more I have left... I'm now able to cast a few cantrips fractions of seconds faster. I can't wait to tell Master Elnao about how productive I've been. I wish I had Seosh's book here so I could get further into mastering it. All this silence doesn't even bother me anymore - it's almost therapeutic at this point. Wish I could summon my shadows so I could work on how to split them into four. Imagine an army of these things? Hahaha, maybe I should work on some more subtle magic, in case Pevomm or my mother visit the academy.
 
The First Week
How long have I been here now...? Days? They're dead... aren't they...? Miirik killed them. Without them, Alyx will destroy the academy, the infernals will rule the world and human kind will just cease to exist. That's it, it's all over. I couldn't save them, I couldn't save Alyx... This is all my fault. If we all wouldn't have left to save my mother, the Book of Dawn would still at the academy. It's all my fault, again. And I can't fix this, Master Elnao can't fix this. It's all gone, it's all my fault. I wasn't powerful enough, I wasn't smart enough, my plan didn't work... Why did anyone waste their time on me? All I did was get them killed.
 
I hate myself. Please, make this all stop.
 
The First Month
I'm so tired but I can't sleep. My face doesn't even feel wet from crying. So strange... Is this what death is like? Zeilar said I would be reincarnated though. I guess he never mentioned how long it would take. Maybe this is hell - or somewhere in between there and heaven? It feels so much worse. I'm so... alone. How long is this going to last? Do I choose when this ends? I've tried everything.
 
Seosh, I'm ready to let go of everything. Whatever it takes. Please...answer me.
 
Months Gone By
HAHAHA Arianna you can't eat all of those snacks, c'mon, pass me a chip. Eurgh - gross, what is this, dill? Okay, what else do you got? Oh hey Athalor! Did you wanna do the Numerology assignment? I'm stuck on question 5. Let me see yours - what do you mean you haven't started? HAHAHAHA you are HOPELESS! Screw this, Alyx let's get the pillars board. Oh cmon~ just a few games before bed.
 
The First Year
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU~ hahaha, thank you everyone. Wow~ Cyrus you didn't have to! This is beautiful... I can't believe - Aw, I love you too. Athalor don't make that face. Why don't you go have some cake with Arianna over there? Bring me a slice too! Thanks. Man, this cake is so bland. Oh right...
 
None of this is real.
 
The Second Year
Students of Ioth Academy! It is my pleasure to welcome you to another year. I hope you all enjoyed your time visiting home. As your new headmistress, I am delighted and honored to represent and lead this academy to the peak of greatness. You are all pillars of our future, and at this academy you will uncover your full potential. Please join us this afternoon in the auditorium to celebrate the unveiling of the new dawn sphere that we've designed. Thank you all for joining us today, I shall pass it over to Professor Gezzec to lead off our introduction of our programs. Thank you.
 
The Third Year
Wait up! I can't run that fast in these shoes! Dammit. Huh? My arm... Did I just see bandages? I don't remember getting injured. This looks so familiar... Like that man... Seosh... SEOSH!
 
Seosh... Am I Seosh? Yes... this all makes sense! I'm Seosh. I've become the god of the void. I AM A GOD! ME! I am the most powerful being in existence! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS WAS MY FATE ALL ALONG. I showed you all. All you had to do was get out of my way. This power, I can feel it. I am creation, I am destruction, I AM THE DESIGN.
 
I. AM. INEXORABLE.
 
The Fourth Year
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
I am inexorable...
 
 
The Final Year
I can't tell what's real anymore. Please, someone help me. Please... I don't know who I am anymore... I don't know where I am anymore... I can't remember what anyone looks like... I'm... so alone... Please... I can't... Do this... Anymore...
 
Please stop...
 
Stop touching me... Please leave me alone...
 
This is cruel... It's these fucking objects I'm still clinging to is it? There! Take them all. Just make it stop... Please... Stop...
 
Brontha... I can... Almost hear it... I'm sorry... Mom... Dad... I failed again... I'm so sorry... Just please stop reminding me... I know...
 
I am nothing... I feel numb... I'm so tired... I wish I could sleep...
 
A-Arianna... Is that you? I can't... Remember... what you look like... But I know it's you... Please stay... A little longer...
 
Maybe it's time to... let go... I've lived... every life I wanted... I'm ready... Why won't you go away...?
 
Are you real?
 
I can feel... your hand... It's so...warm