Having A Good Time

Okay so remember what I said about life deciding to kick you when you’re down and slap you wide awake? I’m very wide awake now considering what just happened.
 
Not sure what’s going on and I’m a bit hesitant to state it in case I’m having another one of those dreams again. Seem to be dreaming a lot lately and a lot of those dreams aren’t my own. Very difficult to keep track of the dreams that belong in my head and the ones that belong to someone else.
 
Anyways again I got to start from the beginning or I’ll forget where I am, sure have been doing a lot more activities these days since I joined up with this crew, this crew that still doesn’t have a name despite me asking every other day. Talion calls us ‘heroes’ but I’ve never been called that in my life and I don’t know if I like being called it now. Hard to feel like a hero after some of the things that have happened before.
 
Talion is hanging around with us now. He’s a strange fellow. Likes secrets. I told him my actual name and he’s just… keeping it, keeping the knowledge for who knows what purpose. It’s just a name really, I shouldn’t be on edge about it, but something about the feeling of him knowing makes me all jumpy.
 
Although I have to admit maybe he’s not all bad. He did help me sort through some of the bad stuff right after Darius died. I talked to him a bit about the abyss, that dark place that everyone sinks into, and while he didn’t exactly have cheerful words of wisdom he did have an understanding that not all folks have. He too has the guilt of being left alive. He’s also lost all of his friends and been left alone to deal with it.
 
Talion said he thought I was capable of greater things. Strange words. Strange man. Even if he wants to know all of our secrets I can’t help but like him a little. At the very least it’s fun to aggravate him. He keeps wanting to know about the egg Darius left behind but that is one secret I will not be divulging. That was Darius’s business and now it’s mine.
 
Well… it was mine…
 
Mimz and Dax got all cozy in the camp, they’re an odd pair but it seems to be working. I can’t be judging much since I’m now fathering a half orc child (still need to figure that one out later), but I can’t help but wonder just how those two are going to work out in the future. Love can be the most complicated business a fellow can have. Both a blessing and a curse.
 
Wound up freaking out a bit and having a private chat with Mimz once everyone else went about their own business. Ended up telling him about my previous crews, the ones that didn’t make it, along with the fact that I may as well have killed Darius too, and really I have to wonder just why Mimz still tolerates having me around. He’s a strange one too. Keeps saying how dangerous he is and then had the gall to challenge me, to tempt the fates that seem to haunt me, saying that he’ll find some magic spell or something to deal with the trouble that comes with knowing me.
 
Sometimes I wonder how I get so lucky. Mimz is a good guy. Strange, naive, also weirdly sticky, but good. Although he wrote me a letter and stuck it under my head while I was asleep so I’ll have to keep an eye on him. Don’t want him interrupting me during a private moment or something.
 
After we all finally fell asleep we were once again having a shared dream. I hate them. I hate dreaming in the first place, my mind always goes to the abyss, but now having to share other people’s nightmares just makes it worse. This time it was Talion. We got to watch what happened to his previous crew and get a glimpse of what fate awaits us. Some guy apparently is coming after us (not the same as the fire genasi lady who is also after us, really, what’s with these guys), or at least coming after those who ‘took up the mantle’.
 
Talion said I would soon have to make that choice. To take up the mantle. I can barely decide what I’m doing on a given day, let alone figure out if I want to be saving the world or whatever the agreement entails. My dad always told me never to sign a document or make an agreement without knowing the exact terms, especially if you have to use your true name, so I’ve never been one to make steadfast agreements.
 
Yet I’m still with this crew. Something’s keeping me here and I don’t know what. Can’t go back to Rosie yet. Not a good time. She wouldn’t want me back so soon anyways, not until she finds a proper ship and crew. And then… well, it’s not worth thinking about right now.
 
Once we all awoke and stopped sweating we made our way to the White Baron’s estate. Ra’Zeed seems kinda terrified of this guy, or at least incredibly subservient to him, almost feel bad about his situation. Not sure if he wants to leave though so I’ll not push the matter. The estate is a bit crumbly and has seen better days but the accommodations are much better than any other place I’ve stayed in for quite a long time.
 
We were able to rest, hit up the spa (with lots of intriguing soaps), and finally catch our breath. Talion and I are bonding by giving each other the finger, he’s a good spirited fellow. Literally a spirited one judging by the wraith that seems to follow him around all the time….
 
The Baron offered to help us if we helped him, which is how it always goes. Even though I put on the fancy suit I was forced to wear and minded most of my manners it still wasn’t enough. In order to get his help we had to go to this fortress that the Hydra clan moved into and clear them out, as well as retrieve a certain scroll he was interested in.
 
Honestly don’t pay much attention to clans (except Scarab since that’s where Brauka and my future kid currently reside) but since the fire genasi lady is hanging around with the Hydras they are automatically bad news. Immediately I went against dad’s advice and made an accord with the Baron, resulting in eyeballs being placed upon each one of us to keep a literal eye on us. Mimz did not take it well. Talion and I had a bit of fun high fiving and trying to aggravate the eyes but eventually we all had to get going.
 
Needless to say we made it in and out of the fortress, otherwise I would not be writing this right now. It wasn’t too difficult to get in and find the scroll… although there was a bit of situation we had to figure out to retrieve it.
 
Now, I’m not going to say that I regret anything, but maybe running headfirst into the arms of a fiend and being immediately charmed wasn’t the best of ideas. Killer kisser though. Thoroughly enjoyed that. She looked exactly like Rosemarie and wow did she not hold back in her possessive affections. I think if we had a moment to talk things out beforehand and, you know, agree to not kill each other we could have had a memorable moment. Maybe a couple moments. Ah, it’s too bad that the moment ended with Herus killing her in a very gruesome bout of violence. Even though I nearly died from the encounter I really think there was some potential between us.
 
Apparently some of the others in the crew were seeing some things too. At least Dax and Mimzy were both giving me looks afterwards. Wonder what they saw….
 
We made it back to the Baron’s estate more or less in one piece and were told that our successful task has resulted in a reward. I told him so long as we weren’t being arrested I’d be up for a reward, so when he led us down to the dungeons I was about ready to get mad, but instead we walked past the cells into a room.
 
A room containing a table. A table with a suspicious body like shape under a sheet.
 
Nobody was moving towards it. I didn’t really want to move, but something took over and made me move. Something in me knew what was under the sheet, maybe guilt, maybe hope, who knows. Nevertheless I pulled it back.
 
And there was Darius.
 
And here we are. Waiting for what comes next.