Adrift

Nyx is standing with their arms crossed, and the entire group is looking at Rowan. Everyone is looking at her, and she is frozen in place. There's nowhere for her to run, no one for her to hide behind this time. The worst part is that she wants so badly to tell them, but she doesn't know if she can. Eli's known about EB for a while. She knows Severin will figure it out on his own, that he'll tell Takoda after he pieces it together. Another reason for them to dislike Rowan.
 
Nyx has been suspicious of her for a while. They've been Watching her. She knows what they can do, and tries her best to direct her thoughts away from information she's not supposed have. Rowan's caught like a spider in a web, unable to free herself without betraying EB. She wishes to be anywhere but here.
 
Miranda says something, asking Nyx to go easier on her. Rowan appreciates the sentiment, but it won't help. Nyx has done worse things than ask a few pointed questions. Rowan feels too guilty to stop it. If she wanted, she could've saved Trixie. She has the power to ask for anything and everything, and she's too paralyzed to use it. She just wanted to help people, and now everyone is staring at her like she's a traitor.
 
Maybe she is, to some extent. She hasn't been completely honest, she's snuck around, and she's expected people to trust her based on words alone. Rowan doesn't want to lose anyone's trust, but that's impossible here.
 
Nyx is understandably angry at her for refusal to answer. Rowan expects backlash, but she's unprepared for what they say next. Nyx spits out a venomous implication that this isn't the first time someone's forced Rowan into silence. It's true enough to catch her off guard.
 
Rowan's vision blurs as she tries to keep herself still. No reactions, and the threat will pass. Her ears catch a snippets of conversation. "Potential traitor" falls from a sharp tongue, tasting of iron and salt as Eli's voice answers in turn. She's angry. Eli is angry and Rowan finds herself too numb to care. Noise fades into muffled background static. All the colors swirling in front of her eyes are garishly bright and it makes her eyes ache.
 
Someone's calling for her. The unknown voice feels safe enough, even if she doesn't understand what's being said. The colors of the world shift and sway in dizzying proportions. Rowan gives up on focusing and lets herself drift.