Dangerous Choices

Rowan is tired, but she cannot allow herself to rest. She immerses herself in the crowd that is frozen with fascination, listening to the New Transcendalist preacher. They speak with the warmth and clarity of someone who is practiced in the art of public speaking, of someone who knows they can win the hearts of their people. Rowan is slightly comforted by the idea that faith is universal, that people still have something to believe in. There is another part of her that protests, a darker part that wants to claw its way up her throat and tell everyone around her that faith won’t save any of them from what’s arriving.
 
She’s seen it. Rowan knows what will happen, and she doesn’t know if she can stop it. But she can listen, she can gather information, and she can try to keep the people she loves alive.
 
Rowan cuts through the throngs of people, alone in a crowd full of civilians. She’s scanning her surroundings when her eyes catch on a nearby rooftop. Eli and Claire stand atop it, looking down at Rowan with worried expressions. Rowan lifts her hand up to wave at them, and is interrupted by the harsh shouts of guards. They’re dressed in formidable gear, shoving and pushing the suddenly panicking crowd. The preacher’s shouts are lost as people begin to scatter, and Rowan walks calmly into a side alley.
 
She presses a hand against the wall and begins to travel towards Eli and Claire’s roof, keeping her head down and away from the chaos ensuing. Rowan can hear guards arresting people and she almost turns back. Deep down, she knows she can’t do anything to help them.
 
Rowan reaches the alley and allows her lungs to breathe properly. The air is so cold it hurts to breathe. Snow falls gently around her, and she looks up to see Eli near the edge of the roof.
 
Rowan feels her stomach drop out from underneath her. She’s seen this happen before, and Eli could be seriously hurt if she falls. On the roof, Eli attempts to regain her balance, teetering on the edge. Rowan sees Eli give up. It’s a conscious choice, leaning back into the fall. Letting gravity pull her down.
 
Terrified, Rowan dives to catch her with outstretched arms. Eli crashes into Rowan and the impact slams both of them to the ground. Rowan’s face presses into the dirt, chest twinging painfully as the air is knocked out of her lungs. She’s alive. Eli’s alive. They’re not dead yet.
 
Eli rolls off of Rowan and promptly curls up into the fetal position. Rowan sits up and looks over Eli’s injuries, healing what she can and bandaging what she can’t. Eli is unresponsive.
 
She is quiet and blank and Rowan is kneeling in a dirty alleyway scared out of her mind. Rowan’s hands shake, but her voice is steady as she talks to Eli. She places a hand on Eli’s shoulder in an attempt to ground her. She’s desperately hoping that she won’t make things worse. Rowan’s mind is disjointed, so much so that she ends up talking about Lydia and Mateus.
 
A part of her hopes that saying their names will make them reappear. Rowan’s talking about Mateus now, saying something about how he promised that he’d come back. Eli’s body goes stiff, and she robotically gets up off the ground to stand protectively in front of Rowan.
 
With a jolt, she realizes that someone is approaching. Heavy footsteps draw close as Rowan brushes the dirt from her hands and stands. Her eyes meet the stranger’s and Rowan goes cold.
 
He’s got more scars than she’s seen, but she would recognize him anywhere. Sevrim Brom stands before her, and she knows that he’s heard her say Mateus’ name. Rowan wonders if he’s come to kill her for speaking of Mateus. She would be so easy for this man to kill.
 
Eli is poised to defend them, but Rowan marches forward and points an accusatory finger at Sevrim.
 
“I know who you are and what you’ve done” she says, venom dripping from her words. Rowan is terrified and horrified and angry because how DARE Mateus compare her to this man and mean it kindly.
 
The worst part is that he’s right. She’s yet to make his choice, but eventually she will stand in front of Lydia Merian and she will be forced to choose. The universe, or Lydia. The world, or the person she grew up with with. The people, or her best friend.
 
Either way, Rowan will fail to protect someone. And it has to be her. She can’t let anyone else live with the weight of that decision.
 
She just prays that she’ll choose correctly.