We killed... a child! :(

We were... I don't even remember... Roshanna's head is in my lap, we were supposed to keep watch together. She asked me if what she did was ok, i said yes - she needed to hear it. She seemed so distressed. We said we wouldn't kill the child. We used him to get to the conch, but we said we wouldn't kill him.
He helped us go through the fortress - under Roshanna's influence. We passed by his mom, and I charmed her. I told her everything was all right, we were just passing by - and we were, and I thought we were.
He began being suspicious when we didn't have the keys for the chest. So I made him sleep. It should have given us time to do the plan - some of us should have bound and gagged him, while I helped Jay pick the lock. He woke up about when we got the conch out of there. I needed one minute to identify how to use it... but he wasn't bound nor gagged. And Roshanna saved the situation, quietly, by using a spell - his body dried instantly, without much sound, and we were able to escape. But we killed a child. It's my fault, we weren't clear enough about how to take him hostage.
His mom must hate me, to her I am definitely responsible for her son's death - on top of the theft, I guess, but that's another story.
And then there is the obvious : we neglected the slaves. We freed 9 of them on our way in, but the rest of them are still under the fire giants' rule and the fire giants will be pissed - having lost a son and treasure. Jay is mostly concerned about that part. I should be too. I guess I am concerned too...
We're safe, we're where we should be. We're nearer to our goal - according to the oracle... The oracle... Harshnag... Harshnag sacrificed himself to let us live, to let us escape from Imrith. Maybe this is what this is all about. Maybe we have to go through hard times and bad decisions like these in order to attain a greater good? I don't like it.
I really hope we'll get a sure ally. We have the book, we know where Hekaton is. We have our experiences, we can testify under a truth spell.
I don't like what we're doing at all. I want my mom. I want my dad. I want my family to tell me if what I'm doing is good or wrong. They are not here. I hope I can act this role for the others. If I need it, they probably do too.
I wish I could ask my Harper mentor about all this. Maybe I can? But they are so far. A short message spell won't be enough. Maybe sending a written message through the help of Roshanna's spell? I don't know. We don't have time. I'll finish my watch and wake the next and sleep, then we need to go on. I'm so tired...
Just... so tired.
I'm still glad we're under the tiny hut. That we're all alive, that we've reached the Maëlström, that Roshanna is sleeping soundly in my lap. Roshanna. Sweet Roshanna.