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Thu 2nd Jun 2022 02:43

The Gang Commits Genocide

by Avon Ilisalor

So it turns out the Yuanti have us surrounded in the lowest level of the temple.
They then warn us and give us five minutes to prepare. Interesting tactic Yuanti. We then spend most of that time arguing about inane things. Most of the fault goes to me on this one.
Just before they come down though I inform the final Guardian to protect us from harm.
Suddenly.... not so suddenly.... 10 poison grenades fall upon us.
I am able to save Vespi, Antwan though ate a face full of poison.
Then we fight!
Then we get our asses mostly kicked around. Antwan gets eaten, I then got to learn what it felt like to have an entire man inside me as I possessed the snake. Not saying I hated it or not, still needs some processing.
After Antwan got knocked the fuck out, Vespi realized she has stage fright in fights, Aeldred spent alot of time as a pacifist medic and Percy got distracted killing little snakes, the big screw you guardian finally showed up and taught us that we don't need to be strong so long as we have a big construct of destruction at our bidding. They literally tore the head off of Thetzuatl showcasing that he was not in fact the biggest baddest snake.
The rest ran away...slithered away? Both?
At this point, the guardian decided it had enough of our shit and locked up down to properly protect us.
We decided to explore the room and gather more details of our surroundings. At the bottom of a salty well, I found a sculpture of Uka-Toa encircling a globe and in the middle of the globe there was a hole.
It reminded me of the time that Ignatius had me read ("for my education") the third book on every sixth shelf on every odd floor of the library. At the time: the worst experience. Now: extremely useful as I was able to recall the ancient story in Xanthar's guide to deadly sea serpent mythology (oddly specific) about the three globes that were held in different temples and used to control Uka-Toa. I would assume that this would hold one of those globes now gone.
ALSO I FOUND A BALLIN WHIP. Its a bunch of teeth and looks edgelord as all, or serial killer or both. All I know is I will be the best edgelord serial killer I can be with it.
Once returning to the surface, we realized that Aeldred's masterful plan of killing two races of beings was finally in action as a volcano literally erupted to destroy the island. Tragically with us still on it.
We were able to escape due to the great ingenuity of myself and the guardian snake protecting us by eating us and swimming us away. Until it ran out of power and we got a great view to the end of an entire people as well as diverse/unique ecosystem that was the island of UrukAxyl. We have now found a boat with a bunch of dead sailors on it, due to the massive tsunami that hit after the volcano (more dead to the kracow's wishes).
 
Also Amos is back, as was Ignatius. Ignatius is now gone but we still have Amos.