Ups and downs

I have so many feelings I don’t know how to express. I went to buy an actual dress, a kind I felt very pretty in at Denyeses’ court. I didn’t find really what I was looking for, so I bought some fabric to fashion myself another kind, without seams. Jay went all red when she saw me, it was very cute. It was nice meeting all Daar’s family together, they are a very friendly bunch, and everyone brought food even though we already fixed that. We’ll be able to eat for a week, I think. I felt kind of miserable and lonely though, seeing all together… But then Denyeses visited! He knocked on my bedroom window and asked if he was invited for the festivities. I was so happy to see him my heart almost burst! Everyone was happy to see him of course! I wish he would stop using charm on everyone though, I’m sure they would love him as much as I do even without it. He even let me dance with Jay, and made it extra special in his own way just for us. Jay did seem a tad embarrassed for a while, but I think she got more comfortable as she realized we were only naked for each other and Denyeses. She is very pretty.
 
I asked Denyeses if I could have another tattoo, as I really miss my old ones. He was hesistant, but ultimately let me have one on my upper arm. I wanted a white dragon, as a rememberance on the one we killed, and while I tried to explain to him that getting a tattoo is the whole experience of it, he of course got stuck on the pain part and made it hurt like hell. It’s looking very good though.
 
We had a chat in private, and I asked if he would be ok with me giving Daar lessons. He said he was and that he might pop in. I told him Daar might not be comfortable with that, but the truth is that I wouldn’t be. I’m afraid he would not understand how innocent and inexperienced she is, and if he hurt her I would never ever forgive myself.
 
On a whim I asked him if I could borrow the conch of Storms, as we maybe could use it to hinder the cloud giants ravaging the coast for a bit. He said no, though, meaning it was on a plane difficult for even him to reach. I feel he just don’t trust us to look after it. I also asked what plans he had for me. I feel kind of lost, and even though I love my new friends I don’t really feel at home. I’ve still only been back for a couple of months. Sometimes it feels like ages, and sometimes it feels like only days since I left Denyeses’ court. I didn’t get a proper answer out of him, just that he had plans. That answer is so typical of him, and I guess I sounded a bit grumpy when I asked to go back down and have beer with my friends. Should have known that would make him lose his temper. He kept at me all night. Daar came up and asked me if I was alright, and I think I managed to convince her everything was fine. I don’t like to think of what would happen if she walked in on us. I don’t think I could explain to her that I accept this. I know he does what he does for my own good, out of concern.
 
The day after we went to the university to meet an archaeologist. He was a funny little gnome and his office was riddled with paper, books and loads of old junk almost looking like dirt. He seemed a bit wacco. I guess that comes with the “professor” title. And by reading too many books. Anyway, he seemed excited to help us, and had ideas on where the old fortresses lay (we don’t have to dig up the entire city, luckily).
 
Tograk and I went to meet the candidate for running our inn. She seemed a down to earth woman, taking no bullshit whatsoever (shooting her last boss for trying to take advantage of her). I like her.
We met up with the giants at Mount Waterdeep, and they made a nice hole for us. We found old ruins, yay. Also found lot of spiders and a walking skeleton of a storm giant. They are no more. With the help of the professor we found a very useful necklace, and some old junk that apparently convinced the giants that this was the place they were looking for, and they flew off.
 
Daar thought we should seal off the opening so bad stuff don’t get out in Waterdeep. Sometimes her carefulness and sense of duty gets on my nerves! Why can’t we just go into the dungeons, kill some monsters and find some treasures for once? Just for fun! Does everything have to be for some greater good? I want to do stuff just for me. Maybe my mood is just affected by the sleepless night, I don’t know...