Letter to Ceri

Ceri
 
If I hadn’t promised that strange disappearing short man in the woods that I wouldn’t curse the gods any more, then I’d be doing just that.
 
Gods, why did you have to leave? Oops. No, wait that doesn’t count. I’m sure.
 
You’re the one I want to talk to about all…this, but you’re not here. And if I did tell it all to you I don’t think you’d want to talk to me any more. So I’m telling you. Because we can’t run away from who we are and what we must do, you taught me that.
 
I was promised to Lolth, as you know. I thought that was…well, I thought it was a bit of a joke. Something that would come up if I ever saw my mother again but not something that was…real. I didn’t even think about it when the Lord of the Hunt came into my life, or when Rafi showed off his arrogant little Ice Maiden to us. Or when the strange disappearing short man told me to stop dissing the gods. Or when he, or Melora, or whomever, pulled me out of Lolth’s toothy maw a few days ago.
 
Oh, you don’t know that bit – I sort of died. Vampire Hunters got me. Took four of them, but they got the job done. Thankfully Simeon kissed me and brought me back to life. I kissed him back in thanks, probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him, so I think we’re even. Only when I was dead – and I’ve never believed in life after death, you know that – I felt myself torn, shredded and pulled apart before I was yanked back. The strange short man appeared to me again after that and told me it was touch and go getting me back. That SHE had a claim on me that he wasn’t sure he could break again.
 
If I had time to think about that, I’d probably go mad. Thankfully we’ve had a vampire Lord and Lady (who was a bit hot, I have to admit) to defeat which we just about did. Moving from one battle to the next. I feel drained and I don’t feel myself. Something keeps pushing me to the fight. Something wants me to fight.
 
The thing is – that could be any of these godlike leeches that have their mouths on me. Lolth will want my soul stronger so she can tear it apart, Melora wants me stronger for Melora knows what and the Lord of the Hunt wants me to be stronger so I’m a better hunter for him for when he thinks I will inevitably fail and become his.
 
If I were cursing gods I might wonder why they want so much sacrifice from us in return for relatively so little, but I’m not. So I won’t.
 
If you know anything about this please help me. We’re headed to Singorn next where I think there’s someone who worships Correlon who might be able to help me. We’ll see. I figure the holy city might be able to divine a bit more information on how I can break this curse. If you can’t, if you’re busy then I understand.
 
I don’t know why we’re doing what we’re doing. I don’t know why I’m in a Keep helping Emon keep an eye on the scar of a gods’ war. I don’t know why we’re grassing up people who’ve been working with vampires and other criminals whilst at the same time protecting the secrets of more powerful people who’ve done exactly the same thing. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I miss you.
 
If we get through this I’ll come and see you. Just once. Then I’m getting on a Gloomstalker and going somewhere hot. And you know I can make anywhere hot, right?
 
Maybe I’ll convince you to come with me. And Riz, if he’s still alive. You’d like Riz. Or, well, you wouldn’t, you’d probably try and kill him, but he’d probably like that. He’d definitely like you.
 
Until then. Or until I hear from you.
 
The rest of the gang is fine. I mean, Zeni is plagued by troubling messages concerning her former mentor, Rafi seems to be ever more consumed by the cold and isn’t feeling himself and Simeon seems to want to overthrow an entire nation but that’s probably nothing more than you were expecting.
 
PS Ussi can change into a bird or a fish thing now. That’s cool. He misses his Metal Lady too.