20200718 Ok, I have a type.

Dear Diary, Where to begin?
 
At the livery stable, Frederico and I made a set of wooden armored horse shoes to protect Dagnabbit's feet as we rode into the Dead Place in the hills to the Northwest of town. He (he?) was fine with my plan for him to pull the beer wagon to carry the posse and some supplies like an axle repair kit and hopefully carry back many hostages taken by the vampiric plants and their creator and his allegedly unwilling fiend servant.
 
Oh, and Frederico told me a LOT of the townspeople are planning to move away, like permanently, tomorrow mid-morning. I probably should have seen that coming since the mayor seems already to have done the same. That puts more pressure on us.
Towns are like people; some are born, grow, lead a full life, and have a natural death; others are murdered. We need to stop a murder before brunch tomorrow.
 
Speaking of which, we had some good stew. Bruthazmus shared some holy honey from Padre's hives. It stuck to arrows nicely. I used it and some of Lee Chung's yellow curry to make some sunshiney war paint. I overheard Miss Melinda is a Pixie, or Piskey, or however you pronounce it; that makes her shop with its lack of stairs make more sense.
 
We made a plan. Brut and I would be the distraction hyenas up front, Lee, Zhang, and Miro would be the stealthy hidden hyenas approaching from different directions, and Chef would be the support hyena that adds unexpected help in the confusion. We would find the hiding fiend and her army and maybe the bad guy. We would smack them all seven ways to Sunday. It was a great plan.
 
Miro enchanted me with a spell called, "Brightest Night," which let me see very well in the dark night for about an hour. I must learn that one.
 
We rode there, and Team Longbow scouted it out. One way in and out unless you are a mountain goat with wings or one or the other. We executed the plan.
 
Brut and I started to consecrate the land as a druidic grove. (If you want to draw attention, do what you know how to do.) That's when I really missed Wrong Way to warn me when danger is approaching.
 
So there she was, General Scaevola Aemula, (I hope I'm spelling that right.) leader of the army of misfit plants in all her glory. She had all the power of a pit fiend and the grace of a dryad, and something kind of sad just behind her eyes. She had snuck away from her army and scouted and found us before they did. Talk about leading by example.
 
So Brut and I chatted her up a bit. We found out, yes, there's this guy controlling the fiend half of her, but he's not really that tough. Some demon summoner bound her and then like sold her like she was property to this vampire plant lich guy who forced her to do demony things when she wants to do dryady things. Her home base is south of Samakar, or Santacar; I'm almost certain it's Santacar, 18 days journey by tree-hopping. I should be able to find it. A druid tree-hopper can go about 5 miles in 10 minutes, but that's it for the day. She might be able to double that, hmm... Also, at some point she said the lich guy says he changed his racial character, so everyone shouldn't just do what their culture expects them to do. Progressive thinking for a Lich. Interesting.
 
And she had this brilliant plan. I could just transform into an owl and scout out the Whippetal Ranch at night with great big owl eyes. Why didn't I think of that? And she said they have developed a smokeless fire. I think they are trying to hide their forge and magic anvil that they are using to make halberds. Just my guess.
 
So I stripped to transform into an owl. I didn't want to offend General Aemula of course. She didn't mind! She had no problem with naked men. That's very rare around these parts. Maybe the Dryad side of her has the upper hand.
 
Then Brut checked with his Bugbear ancestors in a small ritual, which he thought told him that the plants would suffer if I went scouting now. That's so cute. I wonder if it ever actually works. That particular ritual was about as magical as flipping a coin. I could tell he wasn't calling up any actual natural or deific power, so one of his ancestors would have had to be checking in on him right at that moment and able to provide necromantic power to contact him. The odds are, like, out there, way out there. But Bruthasmus believes in it. I'd hate to disillusion him. It's a nice custom, and he might actually develop some clerical power if he researches and tries changing up the ritual a little. But that left me in a quandry, I couldn't tell him his beloved family customs are just a fairy tale, not in front of everybody.
 
But I could ask Zephia to do the scouting mission for me. She could do it better and faster anyway. She was literally born with wings. I transformed and flew up and asked Zephia to help. I didn't realize she doesn't speak owl, but it does makes sense now that I know. Rowtag and Xifeng could understand just fine. But, they didn't get a chance to translate the message to her.
 
(I wonder if I could ever transform part-way into an animal and still keep part human? I probably couldn't fly straight with a human nose and mouth on an owl instead of a beak.)
 
Then Zephia flew down to speak with the General. It seemed important, so I figured I should fly down and see if the General had any changes to the plan.
 
Bruthasmus reminded me to get dressed again. We did after all have an army of plant creatures closing in on us. (Armor is nice only when being attacked, but pockets are handy much more often. If I have to ask my friends the elements for some help, most nature spirits only recognize me with my mistletoe, or at least an oak leaf. At least I know Brother Lightning and the local tangle-weeds recognize me in my all-in-all, so I'm never alone outdoors.)
 
That's when I noticed a bald cypress seed stuck in my hatband, one with a sheen of rainbow colors. I immediately thought that Wrong Way must have tossed it there one time to warn me of danger and it got stuck. Then I remembered Yiara is a dryad of the bald cypress. Wrong Way must have gotten it from her. I'm certain either I am supposed to plant it somewhere and tend it, or I should use it to call on Yiara's power if I desperately need it. I'll have to get clarification from Wrong Way the next time I see him.
 
Eventually, General Aemula noted that the army of sometimes undead but always carnivorous plants was about to arrive. (She seemed a brilliant tactician, so I wanted to spend more time with her; you know, to learn more of her strategic positioning. And she has a nice voice, like root beer with vanilla.)
 
I asked if she could deputize us into her army before the rest of it arrives. That way, no conflict; everybody's on the same team. (There's an old Southern saying, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, then beat 'em.") The guy who currently gives her orders would be ok with a Druid signing up, even though I'm born from the animal kingdom, but not the rest of the posse...
 
...unless the posse contractually worked for me, a druid. Using our previously undiscovered super-negotiating skill, we worked out a contract in record-setting time. I blessed some of Miro's fine spirits (rum) so that they gave a full day's nutrition, and we drank to the verbal contract. The posse would work for me while (1) defeating the army of hell-bovines and hell-woolies, (2) getting revenge for the bottling of the Stormborn, (3) getting that thing that the Banshee wanted buried someplace to the right place, and (4) I think that's it. That's all I remember. It was very good rum.
 
When they arrived, the plant army accepted the General's news that we were on their side and there was nothing to fight here, with one exception. The enchanted Jack-O-Lantern, (who I thought were mostly made by druids to defend groves and things, but that's a mystery to solve later,) (and who I can only assume was a Seargeant, because he was pumpkin-based; whereas, if he were corn-stalk-based, he would be a Colonel,) was not buying it. He just did not want to accept what the General was telling him. He was insubordinate, which is not good for an army.
 
Zhang was the first to come to the conclusion that the insubordinate Jack-o-Lantern needed corporal disciplining. Or maybe the General signaled her; I don't know. It's amazing, both Zhang and Aemula can come up with a great overarching plan for the army and jump into the fray to get down and dirty too.
 
I'm a team player, so I shouted for everybody to attack the mutineer, and I ran to defend the General from the Jack-o-Lantern.
 
Calling the Obscuring Mists - Now I know why Druids who turn into bears or wolves love to do that first. It separates you from the rest of the world. It really makes you feel calm and safe to have no idea where your enemies and allies are nor what they are doing. You can ground yourself, think about the important things in life. I've been feeling a lot of deep drives lately. Usually I have Wrong Way as a confidante. I bounce ideas off of him and he tells me when I'm letting my lower nature overbalance my higher nature. Instincts versus reason. Animal urges versus enlightened self-interest. Classic.
 
I could tell by the explosions and thunderclaps that the posse had the situation well in hand out there. So, without any self-analysis, I opened up to Scaevola and told her all my innermost desires. And, well... It has been a long time since I have had any intimacy with a woman. It was very nice to say the least. But as always, we both had pressing responsibilities that wouldn't give us more than a moment to explore where these feelings could take us.
 
When the mists cleared, the mutineers had been dispatched, and the posse was still breathing.
 
The General told us that the rest of the plant army will be waiting the night then heading east to catch the first rays of the rising sun. The human "clients" (those farmers who hired the lichy guy) have work to do in the morning.
 
We better figure out what exactly that is, but for tonight, the posse has a particular set of skills. Scouting, mapping, forming a battle plan (of sorts), and kicking butt before, during, and after daybreak are among our particular set of skills. Let's see a plant army try that.
 
...
 
...
 
...
 
There was a waterfall?!?!?