20210814 Mark your calendar. I put on a shirt.

Ok, so, remember I had used the skills I learned at the Druidic Gathering last year to transform my shape into that of a large beast, my recent friend, Dagnabbit. He's like, something like a wooly rhinoceros, so I was BIG at this point.
 
Well I smelled my friend Miro, the magician, well, not really, kinda like a Stormborn magician, but more of a sailor. If you've met him, you know how hard it is to put a label on him.
 
So, anyway, he's all wrapped up in this lasso with thorns that glow a little evil green, so that explains everything. He got into a fight with one of the Hell-Hands, a Ranch Hand who got possessed by a demon, and he or she used his or her lasso, which was also possesses by a demon, or enchanted, or whatever it is they do to make all their stuff hurt a lot.
 
So I chew on it. I have good teeth for chewing fibrous plants.
 
Snap! He gets himself free.
 
So there are other Hell-Bovines still needing a severe smashing. I can smell them and hear them pretty well. I'd prefer to call up my friends the Oatman Crawler scorpions who were having a really ON day earlier, but I'm a huge piece of furniture with horns now, and I already called in pretty much all my favors for the day, so hitting them with my head is the plan.
 
Oh, wait. There was that time I tried to trample the Hell-Bovines and my friends were right there next to them and I wound up hurting everybody. And Farvald died again. That was sad. I do NOT want to repeat that again.
 
And, honestly, it seems like Farvald dies like twice a week ever since I met him. I don't know how he got so unlucky. But I'm sure I can find his seed and plant him back to life again like last time. Where was that? Yipes! I think it was by the evil gate to hell over by the barn. I need to search there and find his seed before Miro and Bruthasmus play some practical joke on him.
 
Oh, what's that I hear? One of the Hell-Bovines just scrammed away from the puppy pile. I'll call her Moo 1 just for simplicity. You and Wrong Way know the routine by now. Head down. Full speed charge. Blam! Problem solved.
 
Uh oh. There's a Vampire cabbage between my toes! Poor little guy. It works for Farvald and is just looking for some demonic rump roast to sink its little fangs into. I pick it up in my mouth. I can find some butt for it to kick.
 
How about that other one I hit earlier who ran off? Let's call her Moo 2. I can smell her tracks going off that way, south west. Mmm, walk this time, fast walk. What do you call that when you have four legs? Not gallop. Trot? Whatever.
 
Hey, there's a kind of a... place with, uh, well, cactus of course, grasses kinda. Oh, there's a word for it. It will come to me. Wrong Way probably knows. Ok, grass, cactus. Moo 2. That way. Rock. Big rock. Somebody maybe wanted me to think that Nature and Brother Wind shaped it like a human skull, but nice try, no, somebody did a little hammer and chisel here and there on this huge piece of pumice, or lava, or... There's a word for it. I'm sure there's a word for this kind of rock. It will come to me.
 
OK. STOP. That's enough thinking like a beast of burden (and down-smacking).
 
I stop and focus.
 
I return from my wild shape to human form. I'm Jesse again.
 
Darn it. I'm barefoot. My fun boots are back there near the evil portal to hell. I hope that's still closed again like I left it. I really need to make an alchemical ointment that makes the skin of your feet as tough as moccasins. That would be great. I could sell that and make a business in Athkatla if I could hire a local alchemist to keep mixing up batches after I develop the recipe. And at that point I'm buying Wrong Way a great big piece of honeycomb full up with honey. He's such a good friend.
 
Stop it. The human brain is working, but there are all these thoughts I haven't been thinking while I was in beast form.
 
I stop and focus.
 
I'm carrying a vampire cabbage in my arms, and walking looking for Moo 2. She is in such trouble when I find...
 
Found her. I can see her right over there.
 
oh.
 
She's on all fours munching plants. That seems pretty un-demon-ey. Anticlimactic too. I don't have any beef with a normal cow. Oh. Haha. Word play. What, does the plant life here dispel demons? Or the big stone skull? What were these ruins? Duh. Temple.
 
Ooh. Temple = Clerics, nine out of ten times. Clerics can sometimes dispel demons. We really should have brought Padre. And a weather cleric who can make it rain in the desert. Focus. Moo 2.
 
Oh, and there goes the vampire cabbage I almost forgot I was carrying. It got Moo 2 right in the face. She's like ten times the...
 
Come on, Wrong Way, let's separate those two.
 
Ew, ok, I've pulled *most* of the vampire cabbage away from the cow. No more fangs on it. On either one of them.
 
Ok, if there was any demon left in Moo 2, then it would have attacked the vampire cabbage, not run off like that. Well, it's a cow on a ranch. Best to leave it.
 
Now this battered and bruised vampire cabbage; maybe if I plant it on this holy ground or next to anti-demon plants or whatever right here in the ground , it will be less... well, it was never demony in the first place, just carnivorous. I wonder if there are rats to eat around here. Pretty much nobody cares if a rat gets eaten. Or a housefly. That's pretty much their missions in life.
 
Focus.
 
Get a cleric from this ancient temple to dispel the demons. Easy to get their attention. I... Am I really going to do this? Ok, yes. I'm taking off my kilt and unfolding it so more of the Druidic animal patterns show. It's really a Druidic Vestment. I'm putting it on my shoulders and tying the belt around my waist. There. I look official now. Blea. Serious bleah. I'll do a little chanting about how much I want to bless this ground as a Druidic Grove. That should get some clerical attention. I can't believe some people dress like this all day.
 
Oh, look, a baby scorpion! It's crawling over to... Hmm. Kinda a sign from Mother Nature. Kind of leading me by the nose ring, but I'll take it.
 
It's crawling over to the big stone skull in the middle of the ruined ancient building, with two blue glowing human skull-sized human skulls except they are glowing blue and sitting in the eye sockets of the big rock skull aimed right where a halfling cleric or maybe kobold cleric, et cetera would be able to officiate.
 
Still no cleric popping out, not even the ghost of a cleric.
 
Sephia is over there shooting arrows at the cow formerly known as Moo 2. That won't last long. I know I can't convince her to stop. And I know she will figure it out before she has hit the COW with enough arrows to do serious harm. I mean it's a COW after all. And arrows are only like three feet long, if that much. They hurt somebody my size, but...
 
Focus.
 
"Hey Sephia, what do you do with blue glowing skulls in a temple?"
 
Didn't catch most of her reply. Something about a gift or give or something?
 
Oh, of course. Sister Water, would you pour a dozen gallons of pure drinking water into this skull thingy? That's the best gift of all in a desert like this.
 
Hey, they talk!
 
Want me to solve a puzzle to pass through the Gate of Wisdom? Oh, I could really use some more of that, but Miro and Sephia are much better at puzzles than me. These two thespian voices coming out of the skulls don't sound nearly cleric-ey enough to be who I'm looking for.
 
I should go back to bashing evil cows. I seem to be good at that.
 
Let's get the SNAFU Posse back together and see what everyone has learned. Even with a human brain again, I'm just too worn out and scatterbrained to figure out for myself what's the next step.
 
Wrong Way thinks a man who is not too proud to ask for help is... What's the word? It will come to me. Well, he is buzz-buz-buzzz. You know what I mean.