20210207 BLAM!! Ouch!

So we heard an unearthly deep voice come from what I think was that bull calf over there with what looks like a crown tattoo around the top of his head standing up on two legs next to the weird circle and magic sigils marked on the ground with the unearthly glowing portal gate hovering over it and the bales of hay arranged around it glimmering in the barely-existent dim light. There's something suspicious about that calf.
 
I pulled the magic seed Yiarra gave me many days ago out of my hat band, squeezed it in my hand, and willed the magic to activate. Out came the Rainbow Longbow of Brilliant Joyfulness fitting my grip like it was custom made for me. (That's just my name for it. I don't know what Yiarra would call it, but I figure now is the time I need it.)
 
I shot the Demon Calf with a bolt of purest light (which thankfully homed right in on him) and covered him in a bright lavender glow of faery fire. Try to intimidate anybody now, Prince Calf. I wonder if I could get pink polka-dots onto him. Hey, Miro called over another one of those low-flying storm clouds. Hey, Brother Lightning, what do you say?
 
BLAM!!
 
No polka-dots, but the King Calf is smoking now and none too happy, and I'd say he's significantly less confident than before.
 
Where's my arguably-evil plant army when I really need it? They are missing out on all the action. With a quick dance step, I slipped out of my magic boots and planted my bare feet on the grassy ground, concentrating on the plant army, if there was any way I could summon them.
 
BLAM!! (Ouch.)
 
The Royal Pain took it personally, charged, and gored me in the torso while I was trying to concentrate. What made him do that? I guess the old southern saying is true, "Mess with the bull; get the horns." I was running around one of those bales of hay, and WrongWay with his overhead view signaled me that the Demon Prince was circling around too and about to come into view. I was pretty mixed up and out of breath. I couldn't see very well, but I could feel through that portal there was a safer place next to Bruthasmus with grass and stuff. I concentrated on that feeling of being away from all this and stepped sideways. Or maybe I rolled.
 
It felt like I ripped through a gunny sack as I tumbled through the world and landed on the ground right next to Bruthasmus and Lee Chung. I have seen people Plant Walk plenty of times, but that was my first time, and I can tell I need training becasue that could not have been the right way to do it.
 
I remembered my SNAFU Posse companions Miro, Wrong Way, and Spiro were still in charging range of the Royal Calf. Only Miro was unable to fly to safety, and he had told me a particular quirk possessed by Stormborn like himself. I called for Sister Rain to form a dense fog cloud to the north for Miro to find safety. His Stormborn eyes (and no others) would be able to see through the fog.
 
BLAM! Ouch!
 
Two Hell-Woolies slammed their foreheads into me! Son of a sorry shipwrecked sailor! I'm down on the ground, and they are beating me with shepherds' crook staves which they clearly stole from the ranchers when they got possessed by demons. Ouch!
 
I used to wear leather armor, but it never did me much good, and it wouldn't have helped much against all this. Ouch!
 
Thankfully Lee Chung spins into view, silent until his foot smacks into the shins of the Woolies. Everyone is spinning, the ground is spinning, everyone is on the ground.
 
The sweet cool ground.
 
I did this all wrong.
 
I should not have underestimated the Woolies. I should not have underestimated how many lightning strikes it takes to knock out a Demon King Calf.
 
I should have transformed into an owl, surveyed from above, called down Jungle Plant Growth, Entangling grasses and weeds, Sleet Storms, and SMOG! Then with nobody able to charge anybody, we could sort out the good from the bad.
 
I left my magical Boots of Catfall and my nice western hat back on the ground closer to the magical portal. It's not like I can't live without clothing, just that I should remember where I left them.
 
Hey! The bales of hay are an offering of food for whatever he expects to come out of that portal! It has to be! If we set them on fire, whatever it is might be very angry at him. Either that or he plans to set them on fire just for mood or maybe as part of the ritual. Ok, I'm stumped on the whole ritual thing. Next time I get in the Library I'll have a lot of heavy reading to do.
 
Roll away from the tripped Woolies!
 
"Sister Earth and Mother Nature, please grow all the grasses, scrub, cacti, everything! Out that way, North and West, spraying out toward the ranch house. But please leave the fog cloud clear of any growth so Miro can run around in the fog. Oh, plus a 4-foot wide straight clear shot directly from here to the Ranch House / Barn. Sorry to be such a bother. Thanks!"
 
"Hey, Lee Chung, Bruthazmus, if y'all are heading to the house, the prince calf is about half-way there on the right. Slap him around for me!"
 
Sweet cool ground.
 
Ouch.