20201121 Evil Seed went to pot.

So I was trying to get the deed to Sasparilla Ranch and get Princess to sign it over to me like Master Farvald Kerner wanted. It was like the first thing he ever asked of me, and that project hasn't made any progress yet, like none. I just... I lead a busy life. There are SO many distractions. But there it was in MFK's hand, the deed that is, and he gets hit by lots of arrows.
 
So he tells me, "Stop them all at once," or words to that effect. I think, "No problem," because usually a shiny object is enough to stop the SNAFU Posse, sometimes absolutely nothing at all does the trick, just wait for Miro and Chef to disappear and get into some mischief.
 
Then he said, to everyone, "Come to my room before those who would oppose me," or something like that. I thought, "I'm great! I already was in the room before the SNAFU Posse started opposing him. I'm Number One!" And next he runs back to this big creepy urn thing and says something mean while getting hit by more arrows, which I wouldn't think would hurt him that much considering his body was mostly replaced by plant vines. I figured he was going to throw the contents of the urn at the Posse and dissolve them away, or something worse. You know alchemists can make really awful stuff without even trying. I know. You have to try hard not to make something awful. But he got hit by another arrow and, Blam!, he went down and fell backward into the stuff in the urn. I knew he wasn't really going to die because liches always have a phylactery, as everyone knows, which keeps them not dead when they die.
 
But then he fell into the creepy urn, so all bets are off.
 
I ran over to him and saw he was decomposing fast. I grabbed him and pulled him out of there and laid him out on the floor, but it was too late. He'd already got a free shot. His body was just falling apart, and he didn't have much in the way of bones and humanoid parts in there at all. In the urn there was just some really really good potting soil by the look and smell of it. Maybe he just goes to seed and grows a descendant next spring like annual plants do. This guy is all messed up.
 
So I looked over the journal he was keeping, nothing about a creepy urn being a horrible way to go nor being a fun escape route to transport his body away to safety even little by little, so no explanation in there for any of what was going on.
 
You know? This was probably a big boon for the master plan to kick out all the demons and stuff out of the world. Get the liches and dryads and treants on the sidelines and give the job to a human, with a really low life expectancy, and then you'll see fast results. None of this experimenting for five years while the hell-bovine army gets stronger all the time.
 
Bruthasmus and the rest of the Posse investigated stuff too. What happened to Lee Chung? He's been hunting for dinner ingredients like forever. Oh, and Padre! He was in the magical holiness-focusing crystal for a really long time aimed at the distant hell-bovine army and set to extra-crispy and giving them all the hell he could manage, or the exact opposite, you know what I mean.
 
My life is so busy!
 
Oh, remember when he told everybody to come to his room? They did. Almost, but Sephia stopped them before they got there. "Everybody" was a bunch of Jack-O-Lantern dudes and stuff from the Arguably Evil Plant Army. So what do I do? Me talking plants into doing different stuff than what they were planning to do generally works out, so I figured I would do that again. I put on MFK's robe (which had a lot of his remains still on it, ew,) and grabbed the journal, and I stood in the spot where his voice echoed all over the place, and I shouted stuff like, "Everybody ignore the mammals. Let's get every able bodied plant to set out and get ready to attack the hell-bovine army at the first light of dawn! WooHoo!!" or something like that.
 
Most of the Jack-O-Lanterns were ok with that. They might even relish the idea of a good old fashioned slugfest.
 
Then the dinosaur walked in. Yes, MFK was buiding a massive thunder lizard out of plants and wicked alchemy. It answered the summons. And it was hungry. You have to feel sorry for a creature like that, built to serve and then only half finished, as long as it isn't trying to eat you. I grabbed that really really good potting soil and fed the beast a bellyful. He/she/it appreciated it. I should think up a name for he/she/it. Maybe "really big lizard", "magnus stelio maxima lacerti", "vere realiter magnus stelio", no, I need to work on that. So I sort of put it to bed back in its room. Ha, ha. Flower bed, get it?
 
In the next room I found the saddest little potted shrubbery in a yellow bucket. I gave it the bit of water that it was lacking and brought it along for the ride. This is what I do. It's good to get back to basics when life is so crazy.
 
Next room had people! The missing Mayor was there, and Princess! Forget about the mayor! I found Princess! Naturally I gave her the deed and the quill from MFK's room and got her to sign over the deed and the workman's comp form that Miro gave me. Whew! That scratched an itch that has been with me for a long time! Finally! So now she's free of the Alfredo property and all of its headaches and she can ride off into the sunset with Chica and live happily ever... Whoa! What happened to Chica? I think she was headed to the ranch house at Sarsaparilla Ranch to try to find Princess. This star-crossed couple is really having pains trying to get back together.
 
So I kinda un-hostaged them and brought all these poor disheveled townsfolk to the main room where the rest of the Posse was doing the same, finding captives and freeing them.
 
The singing cowhands showed up, with their mesmerizing songs, evil demon-possessed cowboys. There seem to be only two of them, on fiery steeds, of course, I say literally. Things got even more hectic then with everybody going in different directions, but mostly working to the same plan. Sephia and Bruthasmus fought them, and one of them got possessed, if I heard right. Miro and I went hunting for the secret concealed magically warded back door secret escape route. I asked Sister Stone to soften like clay, and Miro is good at digging, so we found it.
 
Hey, I wonder if I can remember that old, "Wisdom of the Owl" spell. It's a Druidic classic. It doesn't bust mind control or possession, but it makes it harder to get charmed and easier to break your mind free. Rowtag would certainly want me to try it if it would help out Bruthasmus.
 
I wonder if the plan is to fight the evil cowhands from hell or run from them?