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Sat 23rd Dec 2023 11:37

66. I am okay

by Lady Leticia Scarlet-Bloesembhel Voetdhel-Montaneus

She threw out the newest write up, it was terrible. Scarlet took a moment to center herself, going through breathing exercises. She used this to shove down a memory...
 
[[[
"What is WRONG with you!?" the woman yelled at the child.
 
"Mo-mommy I'm sorry...." the slamming of items near her head frightened her and she shrank further.
]]]
 
Scarlet wiped away her tears as she focused again, thinking hard, redirecting her memories....
 
[[[
"Cherry-berry? What's wrong?" the star walker asked as she patted her head.
 
A quiet voice whispered, "I got it wrong again."
 
"Yes," she paused as she looked at the mess, "I see that. But why are you crying."
 
Several heartbeats passed before she explained, "....Because I'm a bad child?"
 
"Cherry, failure is just life. You'll never be good at whatever your doing at the beginning. You just need to keep trying and persevere. Think of failure as a lesson and keep moving forward."
 
"But... mommy said-"
 
Sniffles cut her off, "No. You are not a failure. YOU are not wrong or bad. You're just a child and you will fail a lot because YOU ARE A CHILD. As you get older and have more experience you'll fail less. But failure never goes away. We all fail at some point in our lives, the thing you must remember my tiny-berry, is that this is a normal part of life and you need to pick yourself up and try again."
 
"But... I'm the heir. I'm supposes to be PERFECT."
 
Sniffles patted her hair and mumbled under her breathe, "I have many things I want to say regarding your mother..." Taking a moment to steady herself she looked lovingly at her and told her, "You are a child and no one is perfect. Remember this, no one is perfect and you have permission to be yourself. I hope one day you feel comfortable just being yourself."
]]]
 
Her heartbeat had steadied and she became calmer. Looking about she re-centered herself and mumbled, "I'm okay to be myself. I'm okay as I am. I am me, and I don't need to be anyone else...." She tried again, still failing but... she didn't feel so bad about it. This time, when Sniffles looked over it she had less red marked across the paper. Scarlet smiled.... and when she got home, the only thing written in her journal today was, {"I am okay. I am me, and I am okay."}

Continue reading...

  1. 01. Settling in
  2. 02. Fist Fight at a fancy Ball
  3. 03. It's a Lion not a 'Cat'
  4. 04. Patron's tea and dance
  5. 05. The escort job
  6. 06. Update: Today's purchase list
  7. 07. Escort for Bella and the Loot King
  8. 08. Sirens and a chase in town
  9. 09. Got abducted again
  10. 10. Jams and Jellies
  11. 11. New Dog
  12. 12. Guards in the Trees
  13. 13. Temple Visit
  14. 14. New Pup & Outing
  15. 15. Training exercises
  16. 16. Fighting over an idol
  17. 17. Jobs galore
  18. 18. New stationary
  19. 19. A small visit
  20. 20. Slaps and shows
  21. 21. Today's meal
  22. 22. Homesick
  23. 23. Lanterns in the sky
  24. 24. Baby in the park
  25. 25. The Heist
  26. 26. Update: Guild
  27. 27. Mines and Traps
  28. 28. New clothes
  29. 29. I made Journeyer!
  30. 30. Investment shopping
  31. 31. The Pit (fights)
  32. 32. Ghosts of the past
  33. 33. Unexpected ending in a Play
  34. 34. Today's meal
    https://www.worldanvil.com/hero/journal/1aa083c5-ae1f-4624-a724-197a3f8704e3/view
  35. 35. Spies and secrets
  36. 36. Wanted: Three Hand Gang (WED)
  37. 37. Well it's official
  38. 38. Hags and stones
  39. 39. Death and visitations
  40. 40. the shell game
  41. 41. Anger and plots
  42. 42. The jobs so far
  43. 43. (Doodles)
  44. 44. Meetings and Partings
  45. 45. Double checking
  46. 46. An office Scene
    8/01/2023
  47. 47. An(other) office Scene
  48. 48. Paperwork
  49. 49. Behind the curve
  50. 50. Notes and notation
  51. 51. Cake and notes
  52. 52. Paperwork on the high seas
  53. 53. Pics and notes
  54. 54. A small talk
  55. 55. Small notes
  56. 56. The Dressmaker
  57. 57. (food)
  58. 58. Notes
  59. 59. Putting the clues together
  60. 60. Notes
  61. 61. Tea cakes (& slights)
  62. 62. Updates
  63. 63. Board Meetings during battles
  64. 64. Updates
  65. 65. Field command
  66. 66. I am okay
  67. 67. Mountains of paperwork
  68. 68. Needed Vacation
  69. 70. A note
  70. 71. An update
  71. 72. Dissapointment
  72. 73. Notes
  73. 74. Journal entry
  74. 75. Ledgers
  75. 76. Food
  76. 77. An update
  77. 78. A thought
  78. 79. Basking in Dusk's light
  79. 80. A note
  80. 81. A letter home
  81. 82. A dream/a journal entry
  82. 83. An update
  83. 84. Working long hours
  84. 85. A dream, a memory
  85. 86. A meeting
  86. 87. The ride home