Culinary Arts

Cooking is a valuable skill in Palimpsest, particularly in the lower regions of the city, where there may be many hungry mouths to feed with very limited supplies. The different levels and species of Palimpsest have their own approaches to food preparation (or lack thereof in the case of, for example, many of the Gnolls).

Cuisines

Human Cuisine: Generally considered the default cuisine in modern-day Palimpsest, Human cuisine is generally considered tame and uninteresting by most other species. The human nobility tend to eat food for their rarity rather than their taste, leading to noble food often being cold and bland, despite their wide access to a range of expensive, exotic foods due to Interplanar imports from the Honourable Company.
Each of the eight human churches have their own sacred foods and drinks, which are mostly chosen for their thematic relevance rather than how appetising they actually are.
Orcish Cuisine: Orcish food is traditionally spicier and stronger than human foods. Curries are popular, on lower levels of the city, and the spiciest Iron Sultana's Curry is a forbidden delicacy that as the plausible deniability of containing iron shavings and sultanas. Even some Half-Orcs struggle with the heat of this curry.
Goblinoid Cuisine: Goblinoid food is generally pickled and vinegary, both for flavour and for preservative qualities. Whisky is a loan-word from the Goblin language, so-called because they used to stir it with a whisk.
Dwarven Cuisine: Dwarven food tends to be smoked and filling.

Related Items

• Banana Milkshake
• Orc Curry
• Seafood
• Silk Hiding Steel
• Sweetwine

Related Categories

Food and Drink

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Interview Excerpts: Are you a good cook?

RESPONSES

Masons

"Although not my personal realm of direct expertise, it is a task I can fulfil to a perfectly adequate standard."
-- Subvizier Aloysius Mason.

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Dargent-Laureats

"What? No."
-- Vizier Victor Dargent-Laureat.
"Cooking’s really just another sort of art. Making things that taste good is a lot like making things that look good."
-- Viziera Satine Dargent-Laureat.

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Ironsides

"I like my meat about as raw as you can eat it - cooking barely comes into it!"
-- Vizier Balthazar Ironside.
"Um, no. My father always tells me I overcook any game he lets me handle."
-- Subvizier Agamemnon Ironside.
"No, not really. I’ve tried cooking for myself since I became a vegetarian, but I’m slow and inexpert. These days I have an arrangement with the kitchen staff."
-- Katib Menelaus Ironside.
"I hope you like protein."
-- Katiba Britomart Stargazer-Ironside.

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Stargazers

"Good enough for my purposes, if not for anyone else’s."
-- Vizier Leopold Stargazer.
"I have not tested."
-- Viziera Andromeda Stargazer.
"I tried once, and no. I leave it to other people."
-- Subvizier Pollux Stargazer.
"I hope you like protein."
-- Subviziera Britomart Stargazer-Ironside.
"I’ve never tried, I must confess, so I suspect not."
-- Katib Castor Stargazer.
"I’ve been practising in secret. So far I’m terrible."
-- Katiba Cassiopeia Stargazer-Greenskin.

"Oh, very much not for you."
-- Bartleby.

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Dargents

"Cookery is also for the poor."
-- Vizier Richard Dargent.
"I don’t need to be."
-- Viziera Guinevera Dargent.
"What? No."
-- Subvizier Victor Dargent-Laureat.
"Cooking’s really just another sort of art. Making things that taste good is a lot like making things that look good."
-- Subviziera Satine Dargent-Laureat.
"I am ashamed to say I have never actually tried to cook a meal in my life."
-- Katib Hugo Dargent.
"My parents don’t let me in the kitchens; it’s too dangerous."
-- Katiba Scarlett Dargent.

"Does poison count?"
-- Lindie Asklepa.
"Not really. One Berryfest when I was very little my dad tried to teach me his secret Brambleberry Tart recipe. He was... unsuccessful. We had to visit a neighbour's feast that year, and from that point on I was put on berry-picking duty. Which I much preferred anyway."
-- Connie Furr.
"[unimpressed stare]"
-- Voltaire.

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Carterholds

"Never got the hang of it."
-- Katiba Rouge Carterhold.

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Bakerstreets

"No, but I’m also a bad diner so it’s always worked out for me."
-- Vizier Cobbler Bakerstreet.
"...[nod]..."
-- Subviziera Diana Bakerstreet-Underhand.
"Everyone loves the Cody datenight special, brah. The secret is being made by Cody."
-- Katib Cody Bakerstreet.
"I can grill some decent street meat."
-- Katiba Wiggin Bakerstreet.

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Underhands

"...[nod]..."
-- Katiba Diana Bakerstreet-Underhand.

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Baharats

"I have learned to imitate the many greater cooks I have been able to steal time with."
-- Ex-Subvizier James Baharat.

"It took me a while to learn, but I taught myself. Just don’t make me try to cook with cabbage. I tried it once and burned down the kitchen."
-- Beautiful Baharat Guard.
"No, they have other servants for that. My meals are provided."
-- Martini.

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Brasseyes

"Only when I cheat."
-- Katiba Grimoire Brasseyes.

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Darktusks

"Do I look like a girl or a slave? Fuck you."
-- Mirze Rifi Darktusk.

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Greenskins

"No."
-- Vizier Kronk Greenskin.
"I’ve been practising in secret. So far I’m terrible."
-- Subvizier Cassiopeia Stargazer-Greenskin.

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Jackalslicers

"I am passable."
-- Viziera Atkin Jackalslicer.
"Not really. I’m okay. Both of my parents are better."
-- Katib Fennec Jackalslicer.

"Gormless question. Bite you."
-- Stubby.

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Shajaras

"Oh, I’ve been adequate, but it’s quite a long time since I had need to cook for myself."
-- Vizier Hali Shajara.
"No, but I’m a very fine diner."
-- Viziera Cassilda Shajara.

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Brambleites

"I partake of my chosen sustenance raw, to preserve its freshness and nutrition! But I am blessed with a certain deftness of salad preparation!"
-- Bugsby Cottontail.
"Not really. One Berryfest when I was very little my dad tried to teach me his secret Brambleberry Tart recipe. He was... unsuccessful. We had to visit a neighbour's feast that year, and from that point on I was put on berry-picking duty. Which I much preferred anyway."
-- Connie Furr.
"I have learned to imitate the many greater cooks I have been able to steal time with."
-- James Baharat.
"No, they have other servants for that. My meals are provided."
-- Martini.
"I prefer to spend noble silver on redistributing wealth to the service industry."
-- Vulpix.
"I am. Best cook I’ve ever tasted anyway. Although in time… what’s-his-name will perhaps surpass me."
-- Warren Furr.
"Not in the slightest. But luckily my husband and at least one of my children - I, um, forget which - are masters in the kitchen."
-- Winnie Furr.

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Patchwork Empire

"If I have to be. I prefer my own food raw."
-- Pairaka.

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Undergazette

"I had to learn pretty quickly, living with a kid of a different species."
-- Krona Tailfeather.
"Does poison count?"
-- Lindie Asklepa.
"I mean I can bake, hehe."
-- Tito.

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Yvette & her Handmaidens

"I know eight hundred recipes from across thirteen cultures, by heart, and I promise to execute any of them flawlessly."
-- Yvette, the Courtesan.
"I am now - not that I really have to be, with a budget for servants. Although I’m blessed with a tiny waist, you actually need to eat quite a lot to hold onto this much embonpoint - and keeping up a frequent practice regimen in the culinary arts in the name of gorging myself on the world’s finest recipes four times a day suits me just fine."
-- Yvette Vixois.
"If I have to be. I prefer my own food raw."
-- Pairaka.