The Spirits Within

After finding a book on deities with a bookmark with the word Tenabrae, and Morq's explanation some things started to make sense. Morq knew of this Whiro deity that was bookmarked, the dark trickster, but scarier, she knew tenabrae was a dark prison which sounded too much like the dream I had the night we slept in the tree. The voices in the dark berating me until I became upset and lost control.
 
The place I saw in the dream, a dream that ended up hurting my friends, that shouldn't have been real, now may be real? After another dream that also seemed as if I crossed planes (how the hell am I saying that as if it's normal?) I wanted to test the theory if it was real. My first desire was to see the place I was most familiar and comfortable, even though I was only there a week.
 
After remembering the place I now thought of as home, I remembered what Salus said shortly before the last time I was there, the journal from the bay witch's layer that had a drawing of a familiar woman, Salus said it was written in quori and talked about the Kalashar. Morq, with her strange knowledge about different things might know of them, and so I asked. She said they were a psychic race, at least they were peaceful but had spirits that guided them. Between Salus and Morq, it felt like something familiar, something I needed to know more.
 
I needed to test the theory and prove something to myself. That place, that tenabrae, had meaning, if it was real like the book implied, there was something so much bigger than even what happened at the court going on here.
 
And so, I concentrated on tenabrae and to be willingly imprisoned in the dark with those condescending people. The last time they told me others wouldn't accept me, that I was corrupt to the core, and yes, I did hurt my friends after that, but they did accept me. I'd heard words similar to that all my life, I wasn't good enough to work with the trapeese, I was not to get angry because I would scare people. Work only with the cute puppies, so people watch them and not me. Hide and don't let others see you.
 
I was done being not good enough. My friends had showed me I was able to do more than just train animals, I could do magic, pyschic magic, and if others could be peaceful with psychic magic so could I. But if there was something out there, trying to hurt our world, and the sphinx lady thought we were the answer, then I had no choice but to confront my fears inside or out.
 
The world around me faded and I felt the unkind oppressive darkness like in my previous dream. I was kind of giddy that I could actually do it. That didn't last long as that soft and yet horrible voice came out of the darkness. "She's back." Another voice asked "Why is she back?" They did not expect me, that is good, I can catch them off guard. I would test this more.
 
I wasn't going to mince words; "Where's Whiro?"
They answered, "Not where, but when." Good to know, we now had a time limit.
"Stupid girl doesn't know anything," one said.
I no longer would stand their attitude, I wouldn't let them get to me any longer, and they'd learn not to mess with me. "Yeah, I am. But stupid girl learns."
"We know where you come from, where you're going." Instead of taking their bait, I addressed what they had to be feeling if they were trying to intimidate me. It's what everyone who intimidated me always felt, it's what Harcort felt, it's what Rodney and all bullies felt.
"I know you're afraid."
They laughed at this. I must have hit that sweet spot, for they changed the subject again. "You're one of us."
"Kalashtar." The laughter and whispers stopped. "That's what I thought." They were afraid. I broke the contact at that moment a new confidence in me.
As their world faded, I heard one more taunting voice say "He's not dead."
 
While I didn't get answers I was looking for, was I Kalashtar, were they just in my head, what were they (they most certainly were not peaceful) so were they the spirits Morq mentioned? I came away from there feeling like I'd accomplished something, like I won a battle, maybe not against them, but something better. That last sentence that I'm sure was meant to throw me off kilter, to confuse and distract me, only bolstered my confidence. If "he" was who I hoped he was, then all was good and I would find out in time. If "he" was someone else then it didn't matter. For now, the voices were gone and I had a friend to help save.