FUCK

Shit. Shit. Shit. We get to Rosohna, basically the other end of the world and THIS is where I find my brother? I was so excited and worried and scared and nervous and feeling almost every single feeling at once that I can barely remember what happened.
 
He’s in a band. I made Ael and Velina go with me (that’s a WHOLE OTHER THING that I can’t even think about right now). I’m so glad Ael was with me because I completely froze up when it was time to talk to him. I started thinking about how stupid it is to just walk up to someone and say, “Oh, hi. You don’t know me but I’m your sister” and I started freaking out. Ael calmed me down and went with me to talk to him.
 
And it went horrible…
 
I mean, I guess it could have been worse. He didn’t tell me to fuck off or anything. He did freak out a little though. When I mentioned our dad and told him that he was my father too and that I should find him. He started going on and on about me bringing a kid with me. Maybe it was because she's the Dawn Princess (again, a WHOLE OTHER THING). And he told me to meet him at the super shady sounding place. So… I guess it’s not horrible. I mean, we’re still going to talk. Right?
 
I just…
 
I thought it would be different. I thought I would feel a sense of family immediately or something. I thought I would be welcomed with open arms and a sense of excitement. That’s how I felt when dad told me I had a brother. I was excited. I wanted to know him. It never occurred to me whether or not he might want to know me. And I’m not sure if he does after that interaction.