Day 14

This morning was… emotional. But I… what was it that made you have to change so much of yourself? To make you not say what you thought? I know what that’s like. To not say anything…
 
I don’t want you to hide yourself from me. I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t tell me something.
 
For just a moment though, for just a moment, I thought you were going to tell me we weren’t going to work because you thought it was a bad idea. It hurt the same if not more than when I watched you leave with Kendall those few days ago.
 
It’s why I didn’t want to push you with telling me things. Part of why. It doesn’t feel right to force you to tell me about your life.
 
I don’t know if you believed me or not about confusing me for Kendall or replacing her. It’s just… when I saw her, when I saw the two of you… I don’t know. I guess I understood? I like her. I can see why you did, still do?
 
The rings… I don’t think I got a chance to tell you but I told Misha they were engagement rings too. I did it mostly to try and get her to talk to me and try and get that ring away from her…
 
I’m… I’m glad they do mean that now. Or Um… I mean… that— that’s kind of what I meant when I said everything so I think you understood that.
 
Is it weird that this is so fast?
 
I really wish there was time to talk to Urrak. I know something’s going on but I haven’t had much of a chance to talk to her, especially since it seems whenever we do have time she does something stupid to make me mad at her.
 
Eloise came in to ask us to go to the Keep. We had planned on it anyway, so I’m glad we didn’t have to have some kind of fight about it. She looked at me before she left. The others said it was probably a good thing, but I don’t know. I tried to leave but you didn’t let me. I just… I don’t want to make their family uncomfortable or more angry than they already are. I just… as much as I want to stay here, I don’t want to be somewhere where the people don’t like me anymore, especially because it’s warranted.