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27 July 1349

i am conflicted

by Blossom Of the Hidden Oasis

the sight of the Madame killing may have been the catalyst, but i was not truly ignorant in her dealings, i knew even if i never admit it to myself.
 
that man was one of hers, a tool like me, but he was no longer of use.
 
how long, i wonder, would it have taken me to become no use?
 
i came here for a new start, for the freedom to be a person, to make my own choices, to be more than just one of many tools in the Madame's arsenal.
 
yet i find myself continuing to act as i was when i was with her.
 
i fail to see how leaving changed anything.
 
i am still just a thief.
 
i am still just an urchin.
 
i am still valued for only as long as i am useful.
 
was i wrong to come here?
 
worse yet, is it too late to leave?

Continue reading...

  1. strong and shiny
  2. i should have run
    19 March 1349
  3. allies?
    8 June 1349
  4. i feel. . .
    9 June 1349
  5. the race begins in earnest
    12 & 13 june 1349
  6. Sanna
    15 June 1349
  7. i am right in this
    17 June 1349
  8. Sparkos
    18 june 1349
  9. Grim
    19 June 1349
  10. i hate the rain
    27 june 1349
  11. we have an understanding
    24 july 1349
  12. i hate this
    24 july 1349
  13. knowledge is power
    25 July 1349
  14. the truth is painful
    26 July 1349
  15. i am conflicted
    27 July 1349
  16. I LOST MY ARM
    28 july 1349
  17. everything has gone to fucking shit
    29 july 1349
  18. growth and change?
    3 august 1349
  19. freedom?
    5 august 1349
  20. people are difficult
    3 august 1349
  21. i am trying
    17 august 1349
  22. a quest for friendship and adventure
    18 August 1349
  23. my fucking leg
    19 August 1349
  24. friendship and fire
    21 August 1349
  25. a girl and her horse
    22 august 1349
  26. spinning
    23 August 1349
  27. she deserved better
    25 August 1349
  28. with purpose now
    2 September 1349
  29. to thieves and tools
    2 September 1349
  30. happiness?????
    3 September 1349
  31. crushing
    4 September 1349
  32. "knowledge is power, always"
    5 September 1349
  33. the truth feels overrated
    7 September 1349
  34. they will be the death of me
    8 September 1349
  35. the gods have a sick sense of humor
    9 September 1349
  36. questionable at best
    10 September 1349
  37. point of progress
    16 September 1349
  38. the same cloth
    22 September 1349
  39. a new fear
    23 September 1349
  40. Lives over loot
    24 Sept 1349

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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.042 © 2017-2024 [en] | Anvil Time: 12:51, Nov 7 2024