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17 august 1349

i am trying

by Blossom Of the Hidden Oasis

i am trying to be better
 
it is so much harder to think of the greater good and i fear the mental work it causes me may one day be too much
 
i do not know how anyone does this all the time
 
things that i have to be better:

  • did not try to bargain for more money for the completed job

  • did not try to bargain for more money for the ghost job

  • did not steal from new crew members

  • tried to befriend new crew members and care about them as people

  • did not make a new enemy did not INTENTIONALLY make a new enemy; Enrora seems to dislike speaking with me but perhaps that is just her personality?


  • this is so much work
     
    but. . .i am not weighed down by it
     
    it is not nearly as much of a burden
     
    and perhaps it will get easier with time, perhaps my mind and body will become stronger under it. . .

    Continue reading...

    1. strong and shiny
    2. i should have run
      19 March 1349
    3. allies?
      8 June 1349
    4. i feel. . .
      9 June 1349
    5. the race begins in earnest
      12 & 13 june 1349
    6. Sanna
      15 June 1349
    7. i am right in this
      17 June 1349
    8. Sparkos
      18 june 1349
    9. Grim
      19 June 1349
    10. i hate the rain
      27 june 1349
    11. we have an understanding
      24 july 1349
    12. i hate this
      24 july 1349
    13. knowledge is power
      25 July 1349
    14. the truth is painful
      26 July 1349
    15. i am conflicted
      27 July 1349
    16. I LOST MY ARM
      28 july 1349
    17. everything has gone to fucking shit
      29 july 1349
    18. growth and change?
      3 august 1349
    19. freedom?
      5 august 1349
    20. people are difficult
      3 august 1349
    21. i am trying
      17 august 1349
    22. a quest for friendship and adventure
      18 August 1349
    23. my fucking leg
      19 August 1349
    24. friendship and fire
      21 August 1349
    25. a girl and her horse
      22 august 1349
    26. spinning
      23 August 1349
    27. she deserved better
      25 August 1349
    28. with purpose now
      2 September 1349
    29. to thieves and tools
      2 September 1349
    30. happiness?????
      3 September 1349
    31. crushing
      4 September 1349
    32. "knowledge is power, always"
      5 September 1349
    33. the truth feels overrated
      7 September 1349
    34. they will be the death of me
      8 September 1349
    35. the gods have a sick sense of humor
      9 September 1349
    36. questionable at best
      10 September 1349
    37. point of progress
      16 September 1349
    38. the same cloth
      22 September 1349
    39. a new fear
      23 September 1349
    40. Lives over loot
      24 Sept 1349